


Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

by MamaSally



Series: Easy as Breathing [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotp, Drinking, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Minor Character Death, Other, References to Drugs, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaSally/pseuds/MamaSally
Summary: Taking place after the press conference, Finnick helps Nick get back on his feet and reunite with Judy. As the three grow close, they help give him a purpose in life, a family, and maybe even a second chance at love. But, as things tend to be, not everything will go as smoothly as they may have hoped.
Relationships: Finnick & Judy Hopps, Finnick & Nick Wilde, Finnick (Zootopia)/Original Character(s), Judy Hopps/Nick Wilde
Series: Easy as Breathing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500854
Comments: 231
Kudos: 175





	1. Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

**Author's Note:**

> it's my birthday! so i decided to give myself a gift and post this for you all. it's the second part to the series i've been working on for like...two years or so. lol. you don't necessarily need to have read the first part for this to make sense, but i selfishly hope you will anyways lol. anyhoo, here y'all go.
> 
> also, just for fun, every title in this story is an Elton John lyric or song title.

_ How do I get myself into these messes? _

Finnick glanced into the back of his van to make sure Nick was still sleeping. Poor kid had spent a good majority of the day just crying into the mattress back there. Finnick hadn't asked; he never felt a need to, that's just how it was with them. Had been that way for years. But, if he had to guess, he had a hunch that it had something to do with that bunny Nick had gone off with two days ago.

Poor kid. Finn hadn't seen him this torn up about something since he'd found him crying in that alley all those years ago. The red fox had been so young, bawling about the Junior Ranger Scouts and not understanding why they had been so cruel to him.

"Animals are gonna be mean your whole life," Finn had told him; though at the time he'd only been a year older than him, he had already been much wiser. "Never let them see that they get to you."

He'd passed on that pearl of wisdom, and as far as he knew Nick had stuck to it pretty religiously.

Until now, it seemed.

Finn sighed, staring back out of his windshield and rubbing a paw over his face. Looked like he was gonna have to care for this kid again. He'd never allowed him to stay in his van overnight, not after the shit he'd pulled two years ago. Still…

He could make an exception. Just this once.

Finn leaned his seat back and settled in for the night, crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. Might as well sleep while he could. Who knew what the next day would bring.   
  


* * *

It wasn’t until a few days later that Finn finally learned what happened.   
  
He and Nick were sitting in a bar, drinking their sorrows away, when the news report came on. The whole city was in chaos, and the source seemed to be one Officer Judy Hopps. They played a clip of the press conference, and Finn saw Nick in the far corner of one of the shots. Then it went to shots of animals in muzzles. Savage. Feral.   
  
Ah. So that was it. He glanced over at Nick, but the red fox was already hanging his head, refusing to make eye contact. But he could see the pain in his eyes, the firm set of his jaw.   
  
Poor kid.   
  
“Flopsy there really got shit all fucked, huh.” It wasn’t a question. Finn downed the rest of his drink and turned to Nick. “Wanna get out of here?”   
  
“...yeah.”   
  
The foxes paid their tab and walked out, getting in the van and just driving around. There wasn’t really time to hustle, not with things as crazy as they were. Finn made sure to stay in back alleys and side streets, wanting to avoid all of the hub bub going on. Crowds weren’t his thing, never had been. Nick had always been better at that, and at talking. But Inari knew the kid definitely wasn’t up for talking now.   
  
Finn glanced at his reluctant companion, clearing his throat. “For what it’s worth, it ain’t your fault.”   
  
“I know.” The red fox was still refusing to look at him. Fair enough.   
  
He looked back at the road, keeping a neutral expression on his face. “So. What now.”   
  
“I don’t know.”   
  
“You without a plan? That’s a first.”   
  
“Yeah, well, first time for everything.”   
  
“Guess so.”

They drove in silence for the rest of the day, tension hanging in the air between them.   
  


* * *

  
For three months, the kid hung around, just moping in his van. There were no new hustles, no explanations, nothing. He just moped. It was honestly kind of pathetic, and one day Finnick had enough.   
  
“You can’t spend the rest of your life sobbing over some bunny you only knew for two days,” he snapped at him, opening the door and pointing outside. “Either do something about it and get it out of your system, or accept whatever happened and move on.”   
  
Nick laughed, sharp, the first one he’d heard in months. “That’s rich, coming from you.”   
  
Finn glared, going for his bat. “Get out.”   
  
Nick flattened his ears, raising his paws. “Look, man, I’m sorr--”   
  
“I don’t want your fuckin’ apology. I want you out of here.” Finn sighed, shaking his head. “I told you from the beginning that this life wasn’t for you.”   
  
“I’m fine--”   
  
“Then why are you here.”   
  
For once, it seemed, Nick didn’t have anything to say. He opened his mouth and shut it a few times before he looked away, and Finn could almost physically see his walls going up again. “I just--I thought--it’s--” He groaned, rubbing at his face.   
  
Finn shook his head again, gesturing outside. “Get out of here. Do something. But I’m not gonna just let you wallow around. You’re better than this, and you know it.”   
  
“Why are you helping me? Hm? You have all these questions, well, so do I. If you hate me so much, why help me at all??” Nick crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at him.   
  
Finnick answered, not missing a beat. “Because you’re family; that’s what we do. No matter what shit you pulled, no matter how you completely fucked me over, we’re still family. And you deserve a hell of a lot better than this life.” He pointed out the door, his gaze narrowed and harsh. “Now. Get the fuck out.”   
  
There was quiet, stillness, before Nick sighed and walked over, hopping out of the van. “Fine. But I’m not coming back.”   
  
“I’m counting on it.” Finn closed the door behind him, satisfied.    
  
Finally. Maybe now he’d be able to get his head on straight.   
  


* * *

  
Unfortunately for Finnick, he only got about two hours of peace.   
  
There was a knock on the back door of his van. With an aggravated sigh, Finn grabbed his bat and swung open the door. “Who is it?!” Then he looked down, his eyes going wide with shock.   
  
Standing there with her ears down and eyes huge, was that damned bunny who had started this whole mess. “I need to find Nick.” She clasped her paws together, looking like she was about to cry. “Please.”   
  
Finn leaned his bat to the side, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why should I help you?”   
  
Her nose twitched and for a brief moment he panicked, thinking she was about to cry. But thankfully she did not, only biting her lip before speaking. “I know I messed up, and I know that you have no reason to trust me.” She looked back up at him. “But I want to make things right. And I can’t do it without him.” She sniffed, her expression pleading. “Please.”   
  
He swallowed hard. Damn it all, he was going soft. He huffed, grabbing his bat and motioning to her. “Get in.”   
  
Her ears perked up and she didn’t argue, just hopped into the van.   
  
He closed the door behind her, heading up front to the driver's seat. He set the bat beside him and buckled in, waiting for her to settle into the passenger's seat before starting it up. He backed up out of the alley and started driving, towards the part of town tucked between Downtown and Savannah Central. It was quiet, awkward and tense, and not for the first time he again questioned why he was doing so much for that damn kid.   
  
_ Because he’s family. He better know how damn lucky he is. _   
  
Finn parked a few yards away from a massive domed building. He pointed at the field in front of it. “If he’s anywhere, he’ll be over there.”   
  
“What is this place?” she asked, her tone in awe.   
  
“Was gonna be a theme park. A project his dad was working on. He died before it could open, though.”   
  
The bunny looked over at him, her eyes warm. “Thank you.”   
  
He shook his head. “Don’t thank me. Just don’t make me regret this.”   
  
She got out, running towards the field. Finn waited until she was out of sight before turning around and driving off.   
  
_ Good luck, kids. You’re gonna need it. _   
  


* * *

  
It seemed he really wasn’t going to get any peace and quiet on this day.   
  
It was towards the evening when he got the call from Nick asking him to come get them from the Natural History Museum. He had no idea what the hell they were doing there, but he was sure that he was going to hear all about it.   
  
He pulled up to see flashing lights and a media storm already waiting to hit. Jesus Capybara, those monsters really didn’t waste any time, did they? He had no choice but to wait, unwilling to try to make his way through that mess. It only took about five minutes before he saw them, Nick supporting Judy as they both made their way through the paparazzi. Thankfully they had what seemed like the whole police force around them, helping them work their way through the crowd. Finn leaned over and opened the door right as they got to the van. They both looked up at him, sheepish grins on their faces.    
  
He raised an eyebrow at them. “What the hell happened to you guys?”   
  
“It’s kind of a long story,” Nick said as he lifted the rabbit into the van, setting her on the passenger side seat before climbing in himself, shutting the door behind him. As he settled in the rabbit winced, and instantly he wrapped an arm around her. “You okay?”   
  
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” She bit her lip, clearly in pain even as her eyes stayed bright. “I’m okay.”   
  
Finn glanced down, seeing the red bandana wrapped around her leg and the bloodstain slowly getting bigger. He knew what that was… he looked back at Nick, both eyebrows raising. He had a lot of explaining to do. For now, he started up the van and took off down the road. “Let’s get that looked at, Flopsy.”   
  
It didn’t take long to reach the hospital, and they both hurried her in before any of the media could catch up to them. The nurses took one look at her and hurried her to the ER to patch up her leg. They made Nick and Finn stay in the waiting room, and the two foxes sat down in the chair there. There was a moment of awkward silence before Nick broke it.   
  
“Hey. Thanks. For everything.”   
  
Finn looked over at him, big ears pointed at his companion. He shrugged, crossing his arms and looking away. “Like I said, you’re family. It’s what we do.”   
  
“I know, just… thanks.” He heard Nick shift in the chair beside him. “And… I’m sorry.”   
  
Finn froze, before slowly turning his head.   
  
Nick was looking at him, his green eyes firm and serious. “I fucked up, Finn. I hurt you, in the worst ways possible, and I’m sorry.” He sighed, glancing away and rubbing the back of his neck. “I understand if you can’t forgive me, though.”   
  
There was a breath, two, before Finn was able to speak. “I’m sorry, too.” He waited for him to look at him before continuing. “I was a prideful ass and I refused to listen. You were right. About her, about everything. I fucked up just as much as you.”   
  
One blink, two. Then, Nick smiled. He held his paw out to Finn. “Brothers?”   
  
Finn took it without a second thought, giving it a firm shake. “Brothers.”   
  
They grinned at each other before the moment was broken by the sound of a throat being cleared. They let go of each other and looked over. 

A mole rat nurse smiled at the two of them, adjusting her glasses. “Miss Hopps is all patched up and ready to see you.” She gestured for them to follow her.   
  
The two foxes quickly stood up, following her out of the waiting room and down the hall. It was a long walk down before she led them down another hall to a large room. Animals of all sorts were there, getting looked at and patched up. And in the far left corner, Judy sat on one of the beds, signing a clipboard. She looked up and smiled when she saw them, waving to them.   
  
They quickly made their way over to her. “Hey, Carrots, how do you feel?” Nick sat by her, hovering.   
  
“I’m okay. I’ve got stitches and I’ll have to change my bandage, otherwise they said I’ll be okay.” She beamed at him, then over at Finnick.   
  
“You’re a tough one, huh?” he commented, a bit impressed.    
  
She shrugged, looking pleased with herself. “What can I say? I don’t know when to quit.”   
  
“So what now?” Nick tilted his head at her, curious.   
  
“Well, we’ll need to give Chief Bogo our statements, and I need to go back to Bunnyburrow to let my family know I’m okay. Though I don’t really have anywhere to go after that…”   
  
“You can live with me,” Nick volunteered, though the insides of his ears turned pink. “My place is big enough for two.”   
  
Finn snorted. “Your place is a shithole.”   
  
“Better than living in that van of yours. When was the last time you cleaned it?”   
  
“Hey, you be nice to Sheila, we let you live there for months!”   
  
Judy looked between them, clearly about to laugh. “Sheila?”   
  
“It’s my van’s name, she’s a good reliable old lady,” Finn defended it.   
  
Judy snorted, then laughed, and the two foxes joined in. Once the humor died down she turned to Nick again. “If you don’t mind, I can move in. Better than my old apartment. It was basically a shoebox. And,” she bit her lip, carefully setting her paw atop his, “it would still be nice to have a partner.”   
  
The red fox’s expression was soft as he smiled at her. “I think I could still be convinced.”   
  
Finn looked at the two, shaking his head. Everything was going to be fine. That he knew for sure.   
  


* * *

  
It took about two weeks to get everything settled down. After Nick and Judy came back from Bunnyburrow, they had to get her set up in Nick’s apartment. It really wasn’t much, but she seemed grateful that it at least had more room. Then there was the matter of getting everything settled with the police, and making sure the ex-mayor was indicted for all of her crimes. After that, they had to get Nick registered and ready to go off to the Police Academy.   
  
Through it all, Finn made sure to help them as much as he could. He refused to accept any kind of payment they offered. “You’re family now,” he told Judy at one point when she was flustered at him refusing her money. “We help our own.”   
  
At the end of the two weeks, he and Judy came with Nick to see him off on the bus to the academy. He waved at them through the window as it drove off, and they waved back. Then they looked at each other.   
  
And froze.   
  
_ Aw shit, _ he thought, suddenly realizing that they hadn’t been alone without Nick since she’d come to him asking where Nick was.   
  
_ Welp. This could get weird. _


	2. One More Beer and I Can't Hear You Any More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Nick gone away to the police academy, Finn bonds with Judy in the only way he knows how - drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy, here we go again. welcome back, ladies and gents. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and got everyone you wanted and needed. and here I am, giving you something you probably don't want, but I do lol. I do hope you like it, though. also shout out to Trashburgerbiz here on AO3, for joining me in this verse and for providing the descriptions of the bar because I'm terrified of doing descriptions lol. anywho, enough of me rambling, I hope you all like this and enjoy the Judy/Finnick brotp as much as I do.

There was silence between them for a few moments as they just looked at each other, trying to read the other. Finn could tell that Judy didn’t quite know what to do now, what with how her paws trembled then clenched into fists at her sides. She was trying so hard to appear tough, but he could tell just how nervous the poor thing really was.  
  
Not that he was any better, he was fucking nervous, too. He hadn’t been alone with a female in… years. Since _her_ . Fuck.  
  
He glanced over at his van, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at it. “You wanna get out of here?”  
  
“Where would we go?”  
  
He looked back at her, shrugging. “I dunno about you, but I could use a drink.”  
  
She blinked and looked down at her watch. “It’s only four.”  
  
“It’s five o’ clock somewhere,” he shrugged, shoving his paws into his shorts pockets.  
  
“I have to work tomorrow--”  
  
“I’ll make sure you’re home early enough.”  
  
She gave him a look, her paws on her hips. “Drinking and driving is illegal, Finnick.”  
  
“Then you’ll have to make sure I stay sober enough to drive.” He gave her a half smile, ears raised.  
  
She considered him for another moment, which for some reason made him hold his breath. Then she sighed and shook her head, starting for the van. “C’mon, then.”  
  
He grinned and hurried after her, climbing into the drivers side and waiting for her to get in and settled before driving off.  
  
They drove back into the city, where thankfully the traffic wasn’t too bad yet. Then Finn headed towards the Rainforest District, glancing at Judy every now and then. She was still quiet, leaning her face on her paw and just staring out the window. She just seemed so...lost. He huffed and looked back at the road, tapping his claws on the wheel.  
  
“You okay over there?”  
  
Out of the corner of his eye he saw her glance at him. Then she nodded and looked back out the window. “Yeah...I’m okay.”  
  
“He’s gonna be okay, ya know. He’s a tough kid.”  
  
“And he’s smart.”  
  
“Eh, that’s debatable.”  
  
She gave him a playful shove, and he was relieved to see a smile on her face. “That’s not a very nice thing to say about your friend!”  
  
“Good thing we’re more brothers than friends. You’re legally required to give your siblings shit, ya know?”  
  
“Oh, I know. I have over three hundred of them.”  
  
He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, good one.” He glanced over at her, grinning, though the look on her face made his smile fade, his ears falling down. “What? You’re serious?”  
  
She nodded, being the one grinning now. “Yeah. There are over three hundred of us.”  
  
“Holy shit.” He shook his head, turning onto a side road when they got to the Rainforest District, heading down towards the river. “And here I thought you were kidding when you said that rabbits know how to multiply.”  
  
“I mean, it is mostly a joke, but my family was definitely not the exception.”  
  
“Yeah, no shit.” He parked in front of a bar and turned off the van.  
  
The outside of the building wasn’t anything flashy, and kept mostly in theme of the district. Simple wooden log frame, large glass pane window, and wood panels overlapping for a roof. Vines curled around the door frame and edges of the logs, along with draping down over the fabric awning. Rustic and simple, a single neon “open” sign on the window being the only visible indication of modern influence.  
  
The bunny peered out the front window, her ears perked. “What is this place?”  
  
Finn chuckled at her. “A bar.”  
  
“Well, no duh,” she huffed, glaring at him. But if the corners of her mouth lifting were any indication, she wasn’t really mad.  
  
He shook his head, endeared. “Old hang out of mine. Marlow’s. I know the owner.” He got out, waiting for her to do the same. The look on her face was a little apprehensive, so he was quick to reassure her, “It’s all legit, nothing for you to worry about.” He held out a paw to her, nodding at her. “Come on.”  
  
She looked up at him, clearly still nervous.  
  
He gave her a soft smile. “Do you trust me?”  
  
There was silence again, tense and uneasy. But just for a moment. It didn’t take long for her to smile back at him, reaching out and taking his paw.  
  
“Yes. I do.”  
  
He nodded, opening the door and leading her in.

The inside was rustic like the outside, but no less welcoming. All of the furniture was of different varieties of wood, with the long bar on the far right being polished mahogany. Circular tables filled all of the interior, with numerous stools with them. The bar itself had an array of bottles lining the back wall, only stopping at a door leading to the kitchens and employee area. The smell of cigars and old smoke was notable, but obviously faint and stale. A few waitresses stood at the bar, chatting with the bartender, lacking any customers to worry about.  
  
He led her over to the main bar table, letting go of her paw to pull out a stool for her before seating himself on the one beside her. He waved at the bartender, grinning. “Hey, Marlow!”

A sun bear looked up from behind the bar and grinned when he saw him. “‘Ey, Finnick! How you been, you old bastard?!”  
  
“Better than you, ya old fart!” Finn grinned at him.  
  
The bear looked at Judy and blinked, pointing. “Is that who I think it is??”  
  
“Yeah, try not to drool all over her. You’re not her type.”  
  
He received a middle finger for his comment before the bear made his way over to them. Marlow offered a paw to the rabbit. “Marlow Reeves. It’s nice to meet you, Officer Hopps.”  
  
“Please, just call me Judy.” The bunny shook the predator’s paw. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”  
  
Marlow released her paw and turned to Finnick. “How’s business going?”  
  
“It’s going. How’s your uncle?”  
  
“Still in with Khan. You know how he is, too stubborn for his own good.” Marlow wiped his paws on his apron. “So, what can I get you?”  
  
“Whiskey, on the rocks.”  
  
“Of course, I should have guessed.” Marlow chuckled before turning to Judy. “And you, little lady?”  
  
“Um.” She looked over at Finn, shrugging.  
  
Ah. She must not drink a lot, if at all. “How about a strawberry daiquiri, Flopsy?”  
  
She nodded, looking relieved. “Yeah, that sounds good.”  
  
“Alright. You want peanuts?”  
  
“Fuck yeah.” Finn nodded, grinning.  
  
Marlow walked away to grab them a bowl of peanuts and set it in front of them before going to the bar to get their drinks ready. It only took him a few minutes and then the drinks were set in front of them. The sun bear wiped his paws with a towel and headed back. “Let me know if you need anything else.”  
  
“Will do.” Finn saluted his friend before grabbing his drink, taking a long sip.

He looked over at Judy and watched her sniff at her drink, her ears perked. She lifted it and took a small sip. Her eyes went wide and she took a big drink. “Mmmm!”  
  
“Good?”  
  
“Mm hm!” She took another drink, wiggling happily. “This is really good!”  
  
He chuckled, taking another swig of his drink. “Thought you’d like that.” He threw a couple of peanuts in his mouth.  
  
There was a few minutes of silence as they drank their drinks and munched on the nuts. Finnick was still kind of nervous, but the alcohol was helping to calm and relax him. This was why he had suggested this. It was the only way he was going to be able to talk to her.  
  
Judy’s drink was about half gone before she finally spoke up. “You come here often?”  
  
She caught him mid sip and he looked at her, blinking. “Hm?”

“You guys know each other, you and Marlow. So I was just guessing that you come here a lot.” She shrugged, tracing a finger tip around the rim of her glass.

He swallowed the whiskey and nodded, setting his glass down. “Yeah, I guess so. Used to come here a lot more, just haven’t had a whole lot of time lately.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
He looked over at her. “Kinda hard to have money to spend when your business partner doesn’t want to work and just mopes around for three months.”

She flinched and leaned back, her ears falling down as she looked away. “Did...did that really happen?”  
  
_Aw, fuck._ “Hey, hey, don’t do that. Hey.” He nudged her arm with his paw until she looked at him. “Don’t make that sad face. He found shit to pout about all the time. Okay? So don’t make that face.” He patted her shoulder and took another sip of his drink. “He wasn’t meant for that life, anyway. I told him that from the beginning.”

“When he was twelve?”  
  
Finnick paused, looking over at her. A slow grin split his face. “You wanna know a secret?”

She nodded, leaning in.

He looked around dramatically before leaning closer to her, mock whispering, “He had actually only been pulling that hustle for three years.”  
  
“No way.” She stared at him, violet eyes wide. “He lied about that? Why?”  
  
“He was trying to impress you.” He leaned back and took a sip of his drink, glancing over at her.

“Huh. Well how about that.” She shook her head, a small smile on her face.  
  
There was silence again before she broke it. “So, how were you guys making money before that hustle?”

“Working for Mr. Big.”

She choked on her drink, coughing. He panicked, reaching over to bang on her back to help but she waved him off, getting her breath back. She looked at him, blinking rapidly. “You worked for Mr. Big?”  
  
“You know about Mr. Big?”

“I saved his daughter from a giant donut.”  
  
“You saved Mr. Big’s daughter from a giant donut?” Now there was a sentence he never thought he would say.

Judy nodded and launched into the story of how she had saved Fru-Fru. Some parts he couldn’t tell if she was exaggerating, though he had a feeling she wasn’t. The weirdest shit seemed to happen to her. When she mentioned it was Weaselton who had started it all he had to roll his eyes. Of course it was that weasel, the fucking idiot. Then she went on to tell him about how she had met Mr. Big and how saving Fru-Fru had kept them from getting iced. When she was done, he couldn’t help but shake his head.  
  
“I’m honestly shocked he didn’t ice Nick anyway, with the shit he pulled.”  
  
“He mentioned he gave him a skunk-butt rug?”  
  
“Yep.” Finn rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink. “The one time he tries to do something without me and he gets both of us kicked out. It was…” He paused, stiffening. No. Not now. Not the time. He shook his head, scowling at the table. “It was a rough few days. For both of us.”

He felt her paw on his shoulder and he looked over at her, frowning at the worried expression on her face. “What?”  
  
“What happened between you two? You say you’re brothers, but you didn’t seem that friendly when I met you guys.”  
  
“Long story.” He swirled the whiskey he had left in his glass. “And no offense, Flopsy, but I don’t really feel comfortable talking about it with ya.”  
  
“That’s fair.” She nodded, taking a drink of her daiquiri. 

Her answer made him relax, and he smiled at her. “Thanks.”  
  
She smiled back at him. “Any time. Now,” she leaned forward, grinning, “I know you have some juicy stories about Nick. Care to share any?”

A full smile split his lips and he sat up, ready to roast his best friend. “Oh, you bet I do. Sit back, kid, and let me tell the story of how Nick first got kicked out of pottery class.”

She squealed and clapped her paws in delight, and he was quick to launch into the story, spurred on by the light in her eyes and the genuine fondness of her smile.  
  


* * *

  
The rest of the night was kind of a blur of telling stories, laughter, and drinking. He vaguely remembered getting her home before finding an alley to park in and passing out on the mattress in the back of his van. He woke up the next day with a headache and a sore back, but no regrets. Hopefully she would be more comfortable with him now.  
  
And, hopefully, he would be more comfortable, too.  
  
The rest of the day he spent working on cleaning the van. He spent some of the afternoon working on the engine and radiator, keeping them clean and in working order. By the time night fell everything was done and he was left just sitting in the driver's seat, trying to think of something to do. His phone went off and he looked at it, ears raised. He unlocked it, opening the text app.

 _Flopsy: Hey, are you in the alley by Berry Ln?_ _  
_  
He tilted his head and frowned, texting back.  
  
_Finn: Yeah, why?_ _  
_  
There was a knock on the driver’s side and he looked out the window, his eyes going wide.  
  
Judy stood by the van, grinning up at him. “Hey.”  
  
He rolled down the window, leaning out. “Hey. What are you doing here?”  
  
“I just got off work. I’m hungry. Wanna grab dinner?”  
  
He raised a brow at her.  
  
She held up some cash, her grin widening. “My treat.”  
  
He thought about it for a moment before shrugging. Eh, why not? He didn’t have anything else to do. “Get in.”  
  
The bunny hurried over to the passenger’s side, getting in and smiling at him. “So. Know any good vegetarian places in Sahara Square?”  
  
He smiled back at her. “Of course. I know all the good places.” He started up the van and pulled out of the alley, heading towards that part of the city.  
  
“So, why come looking for me?” He glanced over at the bunny.  
  
“You’re kind of my only friend outside of work.” She shrugged.  
  
“Friend, huh.”  
  
“Well, yeah. We’re friends now. Aren’t we?”  
  
The uncertainty in her voice pricked at his heart. Truth be told, he really didn’t have that many friends. It was just easier to keep mammals at arms length than to let anyone get close to him. He’d been fucked over one too many times to lower his walls and let anyone gain his trust. But this little bunny…  
  
After a few moments, he nodded. “Yeah.” He looked at him, an easy smile on his muzzle. “We’re friends, Flopsy.”

A huge smile spread across her lips that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He’d forgotten how good that could feel.  
  
“By the way, did you get that from Weaselton?”  
  
“Get what?”  
  
“Flopsy. He called me Flopsy the copsy when we interviewed him about the case.”  
  
“No, he got that from me!” That piece of shit. He made a mental note to slam his bat into the weasel’s face the next time he saw him. No one else got to call his friend that.  
  
“Finn.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Why do you have that look on your face?”  
  
“Don’t worry about it, Flopsy. Now, what are you in the mood for?”


	3. And I Think It's Gonna Be a Long Long Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finnick goes broke and Judy can't help but try to help him. Will he let her, or will he shut her out completely?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another shout out to the Zootopian Authors Association for being so wonderful and supportive of me through all of my writing. without all of you, i would not have written as much as i have in the last couple of months. and thank you to you, my readers, for having interest in this little verse of mine. also this is your only warning that most of this story is angst and Finn centric. wildehopps is there, but they aren't going to be the main focus for a long time. that being said, on with this chapter!

_ “Why did you tell her about that time in pottery class?!” _   
  
“Because it was funny,” Finnick chuckled from under his van, rolling his stool over to work on a different valve. “And it made Flopsy laugh.”   


_ “You ass, you had no right!” _   
  
“If you didn’t want me to tell her, then  _ you _ shouldn’t have sculpted a dick in Mrs. Anderson’s class.”   
_   
“But you thought it was funny!” _   
  
“Yeah,  _ I  _ did.  _ She  _ didn’t. And that’s why it’s funny.”   
_   
“I swear to Inari–” _   
  
“What? You what, mate?”   
  
There was silence. Finnick blinked and rolled himself out from under his van, sitting up. “Hey, Nick? Hello?” The hell? He pulled the phone away from his ear to look at it and his heart sank.   
  
There was no service on his phone at all.   
  
“Shit!” He groaned, dropping the phone and dragging his paws down his face. Damn it, he’d been hoping he’d have a little more time, but apparently not. No service meant that his phone bill hadn’t been paid. Which meant that he was completely out of money.   
  
“ _ Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck _ ...” he growled,  snatching the phone up and shoving it in his pocket. He grabbed his stool and hopped back up into his van, chucking it into the back. He started up the van and drove out of the alley, heading towards Savannah Central to the police station.   
  
No way in hell was he letting Judy find out about this. She would insist on trying to help somehow. It was just in her nature to try to fix everything, and this was something he would not let her get involved with. After all, it wasn’t her fault that he was flat broke. He may have blamed her at one point in time, but he wasn’t in that place anymore. Against all odds, she had become important to him over the last couple of months.   
  
He pulled up in front of the station, pulling out his phone and checking the time. At least it was still useful for that. And, right on cue, Judy jogged out of the station. He honked to get her attention.

The rabbit whirled around, blinking before beaming at him and waving excitedly. He waved back, almost instinctively relaxing when he saw her. She was one of those animals that radiated positivity, and it seemed that it had started to affect him. Fucking hell, he really  _ was _ getting soft.   
  
She jogged over to the van, opening the door and hopping inside. “Hey!”   
  
“Hey, Flopsy.”   
  
“What’s up? You don’t normally pick me up, is everything okay?” she asked as she closed the door and buckled herself in.

He shrugged, trying not to show how much he was panicking inside. “Oh, ya know, just figured you could use a ride home.”   
  
“Aww, you’re too sweet.” Judy grinned at him, settling into the seat. “You wanna stay for a while? We could order in and watch a movie.”   
  
“As long as it’s your treat.” He drove away from the station, heading for her and Nick’s apartment in downtown Savannah Central. 

“Deal.”   
  
He glanced over at her before looking back at the road. Good, she didn’t suspect anything. She didn’t need to worry about him. That wasn’t her job. Besides, he didn’t want to burden her with any of his problems. That was his shit to deal with, and his alone.

* * *

His Pa was right; when it rained, it poured.

Finn had gone to his bank just to check and see about his account. Unfortunately, he was dead on the money. Literally. He had nothing left. None in checking, none in savings, absolutely nothing. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if his partner hadn’t decided to go legit and leave him without any sort of income.   
  
He was quick to shove those kinds of thoughts out of his head. It wasn’t Nick’s fault. He had said it himself, the red fox had never belonged in this kind of life. Finn was the one who had started all of this, and he was glad to be the end of it. After all the shit that had gone down in the city, it was time they stopped being exactly what other animals expected of them.   
  
Though that was a lot easier said than done when it came to trying to pay the bills.   
  
Things just got worse and worse. After his service had been turned off, his van’s engine started acting up. Then he ran out of gas and couldn’t get anywhere. He was stuck in this alleyway at the edge of Sahara Square. He was hot, he was tired, and he was hungry. But he had no idea what the hell he was going to do. There was no one left for him to call, no one he could ask for help from. He was alone, and it was all his fault. But he had to think of something, and fast. If he didn’t,  _ that _ payment wouldn’t go through and then  _ she _ would be stranded and he couldn’t let that happen, he owed  _ her  _ that much--   
  
A loud knock interrupted his inner turmoil, almost making him jump out of his skin. He slid out of the driver’s seat, making his way into the back to the door. His paw hesitated before grasping the handle, taking in a deep breath. He had a feeling he knew who it was. Pushing through, he opened the door.   
  
Low and behold, he was right. Judy stood there in grey leggings and a blue shirt, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked up at him, raising a brow. “Hey.”   
  
“Hey.” He didn’t make eye contact, choosing instead to stare over her shoulder. “What’s up?”   
  
“You didn’t answer your phone.”   
  
Fuck. He swallowed down a wince, crossing his arms tight. “Sorry. Must’ve died.”   
  
“Uh huh.” With a sigh, she climbed into the back, going to sit on the mattress he had back there.   
  
It was too hot to close the door, but he didn’t just want to stand there like an idiot.  _ Deep breath. _ He slowly turned around, ready for the interrogation.   
  
But, as usual, she was full of surprises. She looked him dead in the eye and spoke. “You’re broke, aren’t you?”   
  
He didn’t reply, turning away from her as his ears fell down.   
  
“Nick called me. He told me he hadn’t heard from you, and that any time he called it said your phone was disconnected.”   
  
Of course he did. Traitor. Finn grunted, staring down at the floor in shame.   
  
A paw on his shoulder made him slowly look up, right into those violet hues clouded with worry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”   
  
He shrugged, looking away. “Didn’t want you to worry.”   
  
“So just leaving me in the dark is better? Finn, you said it yourself, we take care of our own.”   
  
“It ain’t your job to take care of me, Flopsy.” He shrugged her paw off his shoulder, heading for the front. “Look, I’ll figure something out, okay?”   
  
“Don’t you have any savings?”   
  
“I did. Not anymore.”   
  
“Where did all of your money go?”   
  
“Where does anyone’s money go, Flopsy?” He counted on his fingers as he spoke. “Bills, food, gas…”   
  
“You spent that much on everything?” She sounded exasperated, and it was starting to get on his nerves.   
  
“It’s not like I have a steady income anymore, kid.”   
  
“Where did all of your savings go?”   
  
Fucking hell, he was so tired. “Stop.”   
  
“Where did it go, Finnick?”   
  
His paws were shaking now. “Flopsy, please--”   
  
“What did you spend it all on?”   
  
His mouth was drawn tight as he turned around to look at her, his expression desperate. “Don’t ask me that. Please.”   
  
There was silence between them as they stared each other down for a moment. He watched her take in a deep breath, her paws raising as one clutched her elbow and the other ran over her fallen ears. Violet eyes glanced up at him, curious and… disappointed? He immediately bristled.   
  
He did not need or want her fucking sympathy.   
  
She spoke, slowly, carefully. “Not to sound judgmental, but… Why don’t you just go get a job?”   
  
There it was. He rolled his eyes, turning away from her again. “It’s not that simple for me.”   
  
“It literally is, though. Just put in some job applications. You can use me as a reference.”   
  
“And seem like I’m trying to exploit Zootopia’s darling rabbit cop just to get a job? No, thanks.” She really was clueless, wasn’t she? “Besides, that wouldn’t be enough. No one will hire a fox.”   
  
Her paw grabbed his arm, yanking him around. His lips turned up, ready to snarl at her, but she was quick to let go. “That’s not true anymore. The city has changed--”   
  
“Not that much.”   
  
“Nick was allowed into the police academy! He’s going to be the first fox police officer! Things have changed, Finn!”   
  
“Yeah, for you guys!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but how could she not see what she was saying? How could she not understand after everything? He gestured to himself with his paws. “Look at me! I’m a fucking undersized fennec fox! Even if we find a place that will look past species, even more won’t hire me just for my size! I’m too small for normal animal jobs and I’m too big for rodent jobs.” His paws gripped his ears as he tried to regain control, taking deep breaths. “Fucking hell, you’re smarter than this, Judy.”   
  
There was silence again, the air tense. His heart pounded in his chest with fear. Had he gone too far? Was she angry? He closed his eyes, letting out a strained breath. “Look--”

“I did it again, didn’t I?”   
  
He blinked and looked up at her. “What?”   
  
The bunny had her arms wrapped around herself, her head hung and her shoulders hunched. For a split second he thought she was going to cry, panicking, but then she spoke again. “I keep forgetting how privileged I am here, and I hurt a friend again.” She shook her head, starting to turn towards the door. “I’m just a dumb bunny--”

“Nope, no, stop.” He reached out and grabbed her arms, carefully turning her around. “None of that. Hey.” He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “It’s okay, Flopsy. Okay? I’m not upset.” He let go and sighed, running a paw over his ears. “I got frustrated and took it out on you. I’m sorry.”   
  
“It’s okay.” He could hear the smile in her voice and a wave of relief washed over him. He glanced up at her, confirming that he was right. “I guess we both have a lot to learn still about this whole friendship thing.”   
  
He chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, I guess so.” With a groan, he plopped down on the mattress, laying back on it.   
  
She joined him, and they both stared up at his ceiling.   
  
“So, what are you going to do?”   
  
“I dunno.”   
  
“...what about Marlow? Would he give you a job?”   
  
Finn snorted and shook his head. “Marlow may like me, but he doesn’t trust me farther than he can throw me.”

“He looks like he could throw you pretty far.”   
  
“His aim is shit. Trust me, I should know.”

That made her laugh, and she scooched closer to him so that she could lean her head against his shoulder. He immediately relaxed, sighing and closing his eyes. This was nice.   
  
“So…” He could feel her shifting beside him. “What did you do before the pawpsicle thing?”   
  
“I told you before, we worked for Mr. Big.”   
  
“I know, but...what did you do?”   
  
Ah. He stiffened, sitting up. This. He’d been hoping she wouldn’t ask. “...trust me, kid, you don’t want to know.”   
  
“Yes, I do.” She sat up, her paw on his shoulder. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked.”   
  
There wasn’t any point in trying to argue with her, he knew that. He sighed, wiping his paws over his face. Might as well not beat around the bush. “I was his right paw mammal. I made sure everyone stayed in line, no one crossed any boundaries or broke any rules. Anything he wanted or needed done, I did it. No questions asked.”   
  
“...anything?”

He turned his head, looking her in the eye. “Anything.”   
  
She swallowed, chewing on her bottom lip. “Did...did you ice animals?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
This was it, he was sure of it. She was going to realize just what she was getting herself into with him and run far away. He wouldn’t blame her, either. Everyone he’d ever loved had gotten hurt, and it was his fault every time. He would never wish that on anyone, but especially not her. She was too young… too  _ innocent _ .   
  
But, again, she just kept on surprising him.   
  
Judy nodded slowly before resting her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him. At first, he froze, unsure of what to do. This...definitely was not what he was expecting. But slowly, surely, he relaxed. His paws came up to grip on to hers, holding them to him. He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths.   
  
“Are you ever going to stop trying to push me away?” she murmured softly.   
  
He shrugged, letting out a weak chuckle. “Maybe. Eventually. I’ve burned all the other bridges. Guess it’s all I know.”   
  
She sniffed and hugged him tighter. “What can I do to help you? I know you don’t want me to get involved, and I promise I won’t stick my neck out for you if you don’t want me to. Just--...what can I do?”

No one had ever really asked him that. He leaned his head against hers, moving to hug her back. “Just...be here for me, I guess. As fuckin’ sappy as that sounds.”   
  
She laughed, bumping her forehead on his shoulder. “I think I can manage that.”   
  
And for the first time in a long time, Finn trusted another animal to do just that.

* * *

The next day Judy showed up with a tool kit and a gas can, grinning at him. “I brought some things that I think might help you get out of here.”   
  
Finnick raised a brow at her, hopping out of his van to join her outside. “What do you know about fixing engines?”   
  
“Plenty. I helped my dad with the tractors all the time back in Bunnyburrow.” The bunny rolled up her sleeves and made her way to the front. “Now, let’s get Sheila out of here.”   
  
It only took a few hours and his van was working again. Finn almost wanted to cry with relief. Thank Inari. They filled it with the gas in the gas can and were able to finally drive out of the district. Judy had Finn park in an alley close to her and Nick’s apartment, making him come inside. He took a shower and ate, falling asleep early on the couch. It was just so nice to have a comfortable place to stay.   
  
Finnick didn’t wake up until well into the next day. He checked the time and groaned. It had been ages since he slept that long. He sat up, looking around the apartment as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. Still a shithole, just like he remembered. The kitchen and living room melded together as one small room, while three doors dotted the walls. Two bedrooms and a bathroom. There were pipes sticking out of the ceiling, the biggest almost low enough for Finn to touch. He just chuckled and laid back down, relaxing into the cushions.   
  
Five more minutes, then he’d get up and be a responsible adult.   
  
Five minutes turned into two hours later, but it was worth it. By the time he had gotten ready for the day, it was almost time for Judy to get off work. Finn left the apartment and got into his van, driving down to the police station. At this point it was almost routine for him. Not that he minded, public transit could be shit and no way in hell he was letting her call a Zuber, way too expensive.   
  
When he pulled up Judy was already waiting for him on the corner, a huge smile on her face as she bounced on the balls of her feet. Oh, boy. He knew that look.   
  
He parked and she bounded over, getting in and grinning at him. “Okay, so--”   
  
“What did you do?”   
  
“No, no, just listen okay?” She was bouncing in her seat. Dear gods, what had she done??   
  
“Flopsy, I swear to all the gods--”   
  
She leaned over, putting both of her paws on his. “Please, just listen, okay??” Her little cotton tail twitched with excitement. “So, okay, I know you didn’t want me to get involved, but I can’t just not help--”

“Judy--”   
  
“No, listen!” She grabbed his paws in hers, surprising him with how forceful she was being. “I was talking to Fangmeyer, and she told him that her uncle has a friend who owns a restaurant and how they’re kind of hurting for workers right now since a lot of their patrons supported Bellwether and got pissed that they wouldn’t fire the predators because it’s not fair and they didn’t do anything wrong, and some of those patrons had kids who worked there who quit because they’re just as prejudiced--”

“Judy, Judy, breathe.” Finn grabbed her paws back, giving them a squeeze.    
  
The bunny took a deep breath, shaking her head. “Right. I was rambling. Sorry.” She looked into his eyes, her own warm with optimism. “Anyways, I got you an interview.”

He blinked. Once, twice. “What?”

“It’s only for a dishwasher, and the job isn’t guaranteed, but at least it’s something right?” She smiled, then suddenly her expression turned fearful and she let go of him, leaning back. “You’re not mad, right?”

All he could do was stare at her. This bunny… “An interview?”   
  
“Yeah.” She was biting her lip, looking up at him through her long lashes.   
  
Holy shit. A real job? When was the last time he’d had that? Had he  _ ever  _ had that? Finnick slumped back in his seat, his heart racing and his thoughts jumbled. Did he have anything to wear? What should he say? Did he have a resume? Did he even need one?   
  
“Finn??” She grabbed his arm, shaking him gently. “Are you okay?? Are you mad?? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have--”   
  
He snapped back to reality, grabbing her shoulders and yanking her into a hug. He hung his head over her shoulder, eyes shut tight. “Thank you. Just...thank you.”   
  
It took a moment before she hugged him in return, not holding back. He was starting to learn that she didn’t know how to, in anything she did. “You’re welcome.”

He only held the hug for a moment before letting go, clearing his throat and running a paw over his head. Glancing over at her, he gave her a gruff grin. “So, what the hell do I even wear?”   
  
She laughed and clapped her paws together, and he drove off towards the apartment as she started rattling off ideas to make his interview go perfectly.

* * *

Il Piccolo was a small restaurant owned by third generation Italia immigrants whose family had come to Zootopia seeking a better life years ago. At least, that’s what the sign in the main lobby of it said. Finn sat in a chair there in khaki pants and a white button shirt, trying and probably failing desperately to not look as nervous as he felt. This was going to be his first legitimate gig and he wanted to make a good first impression. He ran through the lines Judy had told him to use in his head. Professional, polite.

  
He’d never been good at being either of those, but he had to try today.

“Finnick Leary?”   
  
Finn almost jumped out of his skin, his head jerking around to stare at the meerkat standing next to the hostess podium. He slid down off of his seat, smoothing out his shirt. “Y-yeah, hi, that’s me.” He mentally slapped himself for the stutter.

  
The other animal just smiled and motioned for him to follow her. “Come on, this way.”   
  
An hour later Finn stepped out of the restaurant with a folder, trembling. Judy stood by the van with her phone in paw. When she saw him, she rushed over to him, violet eyes wide. “Well??”   
  
He looked up at her, a grin slowly spreading his lips. “I got the job.”   
  
She squealed and laughed, wrapping her arms around him and spinning him around. “That’s awesome!” She stopped spinning and let go of him, holding her phone to her chest. “When do you start??”   
  
“Next Tuesday. They’re having me come in for the next three days to observe and train.”   
  
“Ohhh, I’m so happy for you!” She giggled then gasped, going to her phone. “We have to call and tell Nick! No, wait, he’s probably in class right now. We’ll tell him tonight!” She looped her arm through his, leading him back over to his van. “Well, that’s alright! For now, let’s celebrate! Where do you wanna go?”   
  
“Marlow’s.” Finn’s eyes were shining as he gazed up at his friend. “He’s not gonna believe this.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can contact me on various social media. tumblr is mama-sally, twitter is sallywhite92. feel free to talk to me about this verse or anything else Zootopia related!


	4. Thank You Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is going great for Finnick, until Judy asks him to help her find Nick's mother. Now Finnick will have to reunite with the vixen he once called Ma...who he hasn't spoken to in eight years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, shout out to the Zootopian Authors Association for help with this chapter. you guys are just the best betas and friends that I could ask for! and hello, friends reading this! my name is Sally and I am addicted to writing angst lol. I really hope you all like this one!

Going legit was a lot easier than Finnick had imagined it would be. Dishwashing wasn’t really anything to sneeze at, but it was possibly the easiest thing he'd ever done in his life. Just get the dirty dishes clean, don’t slack off and things don’t pile up. It didn’t take long for the owners to use him as a busboy, too, which was also easy. Just wipe down tables. They ended up asking him if he wanted to be a host, but he quickly turned that down.

Talking to animals had never been his strong suit. That had always been Nick’s thing.

Speaking of, Nick had already been at the police academy for about four months. In about two months he would be back as the first fox police officer Zootopia had ever had. Finn was proud of him; how could he not be? He’d always known that Nick was meant for better things, a better life. Now he would have it. He deserved it.   
  
_ So do you, _ a tiny voice whispered in the back of his mind, but he quickly shook it off. 

Everything was fine as it was now. He was happy, his brother was happy, his best friend was happy. Judy still insisted he stay in the apartment instead of his van, but that was fine. The couch was better than the mattress in the back of his van. Besides, it was best to get her used to having a fox roommate sooner rather than later. Nick was grosser than him. The thought made him smirk.

For the first time in a long time, life was good.

Or so he thought.

“I need to find Nick’s mom.”   
  
Finnick choked on his beer, staring over at Judy from the other side of the couch. “Um, why?”   
  
“Nick wants me to give her an invitation to his graduation from the academy.” She pulled an ear over her shoulder and stroked it.   
  
He set down his beer, hoping she didn’t notice that his paws were shaking. “Why can’t he just send it through the mail?”   
  
“He wants it to be more personal.” She wasn’t looking at him, keeping her eyes trained on a random spot on the wall.   
  
Yeah, right. There was more to it, he just knew. Normally he would have pushed her on it, but right now he was too tired, so he just sighed and leaned back into the couch, arms crossed over his chest. “Why do you want me to go with you? You could just go by yourself.”   
  
“I don’t know her, though. It might come off as weird if I went there by myself. Plus,” she glanced over at him, biting her lip, “I’m kinda nervous.”   
  
Fucking damn it, did she have to look at him like that?? He groaned, uncrossing his arms to drag his paws down his face. “Ugh, fine! I’ll go with you!”   
  
She grinned and launched herself across the couch to hug him. “Thank you!” She let go and moved back over to her spot. “So, when are you off next?”   
  
“On Thursday.”   
  
“Okay, good, me too. We can go then. I’ll call Nick tonight to let him know.” She smiled at him again and leaned back into the couch, focusing on the movie playing.

But Finn couldn’t. In fact, he couldn’t focus on anything else for the rest of the night. After Judy bid him good night and went to bed, all he could do was lay down on the couch and stare up at the ceiling, his heart pounding and his mind racing.

He was going to see Marian Wilde again. He hadn’t seen her in about 8 years, and in just a few days he was going to see her again.

She was gonna eat him alive.

Finn groaned and turned on his side, pulling his blanket over his head. “She’s gonna kill me. Inari help me…”

* * *

Thursday came far too quickly for his liking. He had been dreading it ever since Judy convinced him to go with her. He'd slept in his van the night before, much to her chagrin. He just needed some time to himself, to try to prepare himself and get ready. Rest didn’t come easy, and he ended up passing out well past midnight after spending most of the night panicking.   
  
He woke up to a knock on the door, and it opened to reveal Judy standing there in jeans and a pink plaid shirt. She climbed inside, holding out a mug to him. “Good morning.”   
  
“Morning.” He sat up, yawning as he reached out to take it from her. He brought it to his lips, sipping the hot liquid inside. Coffee. Thank Inari. He sipped more, needing the caffeine to wake up.   
  
Judy sat down beside him, waiting patiently for him to finish his coffee before speaking. “Do you want to come inside before we go?”   
  
Dread settled over Finn and he swallowed the final mouthful of coffee, slowly shaking his head.   
  
“Okay.” Judy stood up, brushing her pants off. “Do you think you can be ready soon?”   
  
Finn nodded, handing her the empty mug. “Yeah. Gimme like ten minutes and I’ll be ready.” 

She nodded back, hopping out and shutting the door.   
  
He groaned and rested his head on his knees, trying to keep his breaths even. Holy shit. This was really happening. He had known this day would come some time, but he really hadn’t expected it to be this soon. What would he say? What could he say? It had been eight years without contact. She probably hated him…   
  
He growled and lifted his head, slapping the side of his temple to literally knock the thoughts out of his mind. Not now. Flopsy was waiting for him. He got up and hurried to grab a change of clothes.   
  
Ten minutes later, Judy was back in his van and they were off towards Bayou Bay in Savannah Central. “She lives in Happytown,” Finnick told the bunny.   
  
“Happytown?” Her ears turned towards him, curiosity in her eyes. “Nick’s mentioned it a few times, but he never really explained what it is.”   
  
“It’s a housing project Zootopia started years ago to try to fix the homeless problem. Especially with ‘lower predators’, like foxes and weasels and coyotes.” He huffed, tapping his claws on the steering wheel. “It failed, but a lot of the mammals stayed there and called it Happytown, and it just stuck.”   
  
“Why does Nick’s mom still live there?”   
  
Finn shrugged. “It’s her home. She’s comfortable. Plus, that’s where Cash is.”   
  
“Cash?”   
  
Shit. He sank a little lower in his seat, his jaw clenched tight.   
  
“Finn.” She put her paw on his shoulder, shaking him gently. “Come on. We’re not keeping things from each other any more, remember? Best friends?”   
  
“You’re so fuckin’ stubborn.”   
  
“I think you mean persistent!”

“Nope, stubborn.”

“Finn.” 

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, cursing when he saw that wide-eyes look. Damn it.

“Please?” She leaned into him, fluttering her eyelashes. 

“Ugh, fine, just get off me.” He waited until she moved and focused on the road again. It was pretty busy for the afternoon. “Cash is Nick’s dad. Well, was.”   
  
“Oh, right. You mentioned before that he died, right?”

“Yeah.”

She was quiet, and he glanced at her again. “Now, don’t go getting sad. It was nine years ago, we’ve all had our time to be sad and cry over it.” He shrugged, turning onto a smaller road. “Marian had him buried close to the compound she’s living in. She always said she didn’t want to leave him.”

“She sounds wonderful.”

Finn nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah. She really is.”

They were quiet for the rest of the drive. Finnick could feel his heart pounding as they got closer to Happytown. Then suddenly they were driving through a dingy neighborhood with trailers and tiny houses dotted between wide ranges of housing compounds. The pavement of the road was cracked and full of potholes, the patches of grass between the sidewalk brown and muddy. There were groups of mammals gathered in corners, trading things quickly with nervous looks, and cubs played in driveways or on porches while watched sharply by their parents.   
  
All of it made Finnick’s lip curl up.  _ Fuckin’ Happytown. What a dump. _

He pulled up in front of one of the little houses towards the end of the neighborhood. He turned the van off and leaned back in his seat, feeling his heart pounding again. Shit. He was here. He hadn’t been in years. What was he going to do? What was going to happen? Would she hear him out? Would she even let him talk? Would she even look at him?

He looked over at the bunny seated beside him. “I can’t do this.”   
  
“Yes, yes you can.” She reached over to grab his paw, giving it a squeeze. 

“No, I can’t!”

“Finn,” she tried to reassure him, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“Gods, what do I even say??” Finnick was panicking again, shaking. “She probably doesn’t even want to see me!”

“Yes, she does.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do.”

He looked her in the eye, desperate. “How?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. She took his paw in both of hers, swallowing hard before looking at him. “So, uh, listen. There’s something I need to tell you.”   
  
Oh, gods. He snatched his paw away from hers, his ears folding down on his head. “Judy. What did you do.”

She grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. “So, uh, I may have already talked to Nick’s mom. Aaaaaaaand she may be expecting us today.”

“Judy!” Finn snarled at her, his hackles raising. “What the fuck?!”

“Why are you yelling at me?!”

“Do you even realize what you’ve done?!”

Her ears fell down though she managed to glare at him. “I’m trying to help you! That’s all I’ve been doing!”

“You can’t just do this shit, Judy! You can’t just throw me into situations like this!” He was almost hyperventilating now, starting to rock back and forth. “I can’t do this shit, I just can’t!” He closed his eyes tight, grabbing onto his ears. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t--”

“Finn!” Judy grabbed his face, which made his eyes open. She lifted his head, forcing him to look at her. “You  _ can _ do this. You can. She  _ wants _ to see you. I’ve talked to her. She misses you. Yes, she’s angry, but I think we both know that she has every reason to be. But she wants to see you.” She smiled, stroking his cheeks which almost instantly made him go limp. “You can do this. And I am going to be with you. Okay?”

He took a breath. Then nodded. “Okay.”    
  
The bunny nodded back, unbuckling herself. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Gods, this was happening. Finn let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. He unbuckled himself and got out of the van, staring at the house.

This was it. No turning back now.

They had just started towards the door when it swung open, and there stood Marian Wilde in all her glory. Dressed in black pants and a green blouse that matched her eyes, her fur was a lighter shade than Nick’s. But her spirit and her strength showed in how she held herself. And right now, her body language said she was pissed.

Marian stepped off her porch, marching towards the two with fire in her eyes. She stopped in front of them, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. She stared at Finn, her mouth drawn down in a deep frown. “Well?”

_ Fuck. _ He gulped and slowly looked up at her, feeling like a kit again. What could he even say? “Hi.”

“‘Hi’?” She scowled at him, uncrossing her arms to plant her paws on her hips. “I haven’t seen you in eight years, and all you can say to me is ‘hi’?”

He sighed, running a paw over his face. “Marian--”

“No.” She bent over, making him step back so that she wasn’t right up in his face. “Finnegan Malachy Leary--”

Oh, fuck, tripled named. He was in deep shit -- The deepest possible level of shit, perhaps.   
  
“--you are going to listen to me, and you best listen good.” She straightened up, one paw staying on her hip as the other clutched over her heart. “I took you in after your father was thrown in jail, out of the goodness of my heart! I fed you, clothed you, gave you a roof over your head. I made sure you were clean, got to school on time, always helped you with your homework. I helped you through that nasty break up with Clarice--”

“Why are you even bringing her up??” Finn snapped, getting exasperated.   
  
“Don’t you interrupt me, young tod!” the older vixen snapped back, shaking her finger at him. “I did everything under the sun for you! I loved you as if you were my own! Then, suddenly, no contact. Not a call, not a letter, not even a single word for eight years!” She sniffed, and he realized with horror that there were tears in her eyes. “Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? And then my Nicholas does the same thing just a few months later! You just vanished off the face of the earth, and I was terrified.” She looked away, wiping a paw over her eyes. “I was so worried that something had happened to you...that you were cold, and hungry, and alone…”   
  
He didn’t think he could ever feel any lower. “Marian…”

She looked at him, tears falling down her cheeks. “Every day, I have prayed to Lord Inari that you and my son were safe, that you were alive. Every Sunday I would light a candle for you both in Inari’s chapel. Every day, I just hoped that you were okay…”   
  
He was lower than low. He was the worst piece of shit on the face of the planet. Finn stared at his feet, trying his best not to cry. “I’m sorry, Marian. I should have called...I’m sorry.”   
  
Suddenly there was a paw on his shoulder, and he looked up to come eye to eye with her. The vixen gave him a sad smile. “Since when did you stop calling me Ma?”   
  
Something inside of him broke, and she knelt down in time for him to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her shoulder to hide that he was crying. Just a little. She immediately hugged him back, holding him tightly to her. Finnick let out a choked sound, his paws fisting in the material of her shirt. “I’m sorry, Ma...I’m so sorry…”   
  
“My boy,” Marian crooned to him, not even trying to hide the fact that she was crying, too. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”   
  
Finn nodded, unable to form words. She forgave him. She still wanted him. It was more than he ever could have asked for.   
  
He felt the vixen lift her head and could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke. “Thank you, little bunny.”

“It was my pleasure, ma’am,” Judy replied warmly, and he couldn’t help but smile.

He really did have the best friend in the whole damn world.

* * *

Once they had all gathered themselves, Marian invited the both of them inside for lunch. Afterwards, they all sat in the living room to talk. There was a lot the vixen had to be caught up on. Finn briefly told her about getting kicked out of Big’s mafia, and the scene he and Nick had pulled afterwards. She rolled her eyes and called them idiots, but he could see the smile of amusement pulling at the corners of her mouth. Judy filled Marian in on what had happened after she met them, about the case and what had happened afterwards. She also apologized profusely over what she had said about predators at the press conference, but Marian had quickly waved her off.   
  
“It’s in the past now, dear,” she told the bunny. “You’ve brought my boys back to me. I can never thank you enough.”   
  
Judy beamed at her, wiggling happily on the recliner she was in. “It’s my pleasure. They’re my best friends and I want to help them in any way I can.”   
  
“You’ve definitely done that,” Finn piped up, which made her smile at him.

The rest of the afternoon they all swapped stories about Nick, giggling and shedding a few tears as they did. Finn just sat back and let the females talk, sipping on a mug of coffee that Marian had offered a while ago. It was good to see his friend and his mother figure talking and bonding. It really helped to put his mind at ease after the last stressful few days he’d had.   
  
At some point Judy started yawning, and it occurred to Finn that maybe she hadn’t been sleeping well either. He suddenly felt really bad for yelling at her earlier. The bunny kept excusing herself every time she yawned, and when she rested her head on the arm rest she fell asleep almost instantly. Marian got up and moved the doe so that her head was on a pillow, and she laid a blanket over her.    
  
“Poor thing is out cold,” Marian said quietly, making her way back over to the loveseat beside the recliner Finn was on.   
  
“She works way too hard,” he mused before taking another sip of his coffee. It was room temperature now, but he wasn’t complaining. Caffeine was caffeine.   
  
“She really is something, isn’t she?”   
  
He gazed at the bunny, nodding slowly. “Yeah. She really is.” He turned his head to look at Marian and frowned at the look in her eyes. “What?”   
  
She shook her head, leaning back in her seat. “Nothing, nothing, just…” She smiled softly at him. “You’re different.”   
  
His brow furrowed and he tilted his head. “How so?”   
  
She smirked. “You’ve gotten soft.”   
  
Of course she would call him out. He huffed, setting the mug down. “Yeah, so I keep getting told.”

“I much prefer this you than Mr. Big’s Star Boy.”   
  
“Haven’t been that in a long time.” He rested his chin on his paw. “I’m just a normal mammal now.”

“I’m glad. You never belonged in that life, Finnegan.”   
  
He shrugged. “It was all I knew. Pa did it, so I always figured I would, too.”   
  
“I know, just…” She frowned, glancing over to her mantle where an oval shaped black urn rested. “I always wanted better for you. So did Chester.”   
  
_ Cash. _ Finn looked at the urn too, feeling an ache in his chest. Gods, he missed him.   
  
“Finnegan?”   
  
Snapping out of it, he looked back at the vixen. “Hm?”   
  
Her green eyes were filled with concern, and she leaned over the armrest to get closer to him. “What happened?”   
  
Fuck. He stiffened. “What are you talking about?”   
  
“Between you and Nicholas. You said you had a falling out, and from what Judy said it sounds like you were barely on speaking terms.” She reached out to rest her paw on his arm. “You two used to be so close. What happened?”   
  
“Nothing happened, Ma.” His heart was pounding again, his chest feeling tight. Inari damn it, she was too good at reading him.

“Don’t lie to me, Finnegan. Was it Clarice again?”   
  
“Why do you keep bringing her up?” he snapped, then flinched back at the glare he received for it.

“The last time you had that look on your face, it was because of her.” Marian took his paw, giving it a soft squeeze. “I’m worried, Finnegan. She broke your heart, and I never wanted you to go through that again.”   
  
There was a moment, then he squeezed her paw back. “You can’t keep that from happening, Ma. And no, it wasn’t Clarice. I haven’t seen her since we broke up.”

“But it was a girl again. Who was she?”

Finn sighed, rubbing a paw over his face. “It’s a long story.”

Marian glanced at Judy again then back at him, patting the spot on the loveseat beside her. “I think we have time. Come here.” Her eyes were warm and she gave him a soft smile. “If you want to.”   
  
He hesitated for only a moment before sliding off his seat and walking over, lifting himself onto the loveseat and leaning into her with a sigh. She immediately wrapped an arm around him, resting her head on his. Finn closed his eyes, trying to focus his thoughts and his breathing. 

“Her name was Bella. She’s an arctic fox.”

She rubbed his arm gently. “Tell me about her.”   
  
He sighed, then started to speak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me on the various social media sites i'm on! i'm mama-sally on tumblr and mamasallywhite on twitter! i would love to hear any additional thoughts or comments you have about this verse, or about anything related to Zootopia!


	5. More Than Just a Memory of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plagued by dreams of his ex, Finnick ends up having to face an event from his past that he would rather forget. Luckily for him, Judy is ready to help him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!!
> 
> if you are triggered by prostitution or mentions of it, please be careful going forward with this chapter. there is a lot of talk about it. otherwise, feel free to proceed.
> 
> this chapter is the longest i've written for this story, but trust and believe more long chapters are probably going to come lol. this is also a super heavy chapter, a lot of angst. i'm pretty proud of it, though, and i hope you all like it.

_ It was dark when he entered the house, and that made him nervous. It was never dark, she hated being in the dark. His heart was in his throat as he pushed the door open, padding in and shutting it behind him. _

_ “Hello?” _

_ Nothing. Not a word, not a sound. Nothing. _

_ Never a good sign. _

_ “Bells? Look, I’m sorry about earlier,” he called as he walked into the house, swallowing down the anxiety in the back of his mind. “I shouldn’t have yelled. But we need to talk about what happened, okay?” _

_ Still nothing. _

_ His heart was pounding his chest as he climbed the stairs. Was she even still here? Where would she go? Would she be with her sister? Or maybe she went to go see her mom? Or...had HE called her back to work? Gods, he hoped not, she was in no state for that shit. Why couldn’t she ever catch a break? Why couldn’t they just get away from all of this? _

_ Why couldn’t she have just said yes? _

_ “Bells? C’mon, sweetheart, please say something. Anything.” His paws were trembling as he reached for the doorknob of their bedroom. “I’m coming in, okay?” _

_ Silence. _

Inari, please, let her be okay.

_ He opened the door and the sound that left him was near primal. _

_ “No…!” _

“Finn? Finn!”   
  
“Huh??” He sat up suddenly, panting, shaking, his eyes wide. Where was she, what happened, what--??

“Whoa, hey.” Gentle paws stroked over his ears and back, the voice soft and warm. “Hey, now. It’s okay. You were dreaming.”

Dreaming. Right. Finnick closed his eyes, leaning against Judy as she sat by him. Her scent wafted up to his nose, helping calm him. Thank all the gods above for this bunny, honestly. He did not deserve such a good friend.

Judy leaned her head against him, still rubbing his back. “Bad dreams?”   
  
He just nodded.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”   
  
He shook his head.   
  
“Finn…” She hesitated, pausing the caresses on his back. “You were screaming.”

Shit. He tensed, opening his eyes and leaning away from her. Inari damn it, now he was in for it. When she had that tone, it meant she wanted to know something, and she wasn’t going to stop until she had what she wanted. This was why he hadn’t wanted to sleep in the apartment, he’d known that he would get too comfortable and something like this would happen. He sighed, rubbing a paw over his face.

“Flopsy, it’s late. We both work soon. Do we have to do this now?”

“No, of course not, sorry.” The bunny looked over at him, violet eyes filled with concern. “I’m just worried. Are you okay? Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I’ve never heard you make that sound before…” 

A stab of guilt went through his heart. Damn it, why did she have to look at him with that voice and those eyes? Didn’t she know what it did to him? Though a tiny voice in the back of his mind told him yes, she did, and that’s why she did this. Finn groaned and leaned back into the couch, dragging the blanket up to his chin. “I’m fine. Promise. Just...bad dreams.”

“Okay…” He could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn’t like his answer, but she also knew she wasn’t going to get anything else out of him. But that didn’t stop her from wrapping her arms around him, giving him a tight hug. “You promise you’ll come wake me up if you need me, though?”

Damn her. Bless her. Finn gave her a soft smile, nuzzling her cheek once. “I promise.” Then he playfully shoved her off of him. “Now get to bed, missy. It’s way past your bedtime.”

“Geez, fine, dad!” She grinned at him then headed back to her room, calling over her shoulder, “Remember your promise!”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” He waited until he heard the door close before flopping down on the couch, groaning.

Great. Now the dreams decided to start again. Fucking brilliant.

He just hoped that this didn’t keep up. He didn’t need Flopsy nosing into his past business.

_ She probably will anyways _ , he thought to himself before he fell asleep again.

* * *

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Judy asked him the following morning as he drove her to the police station for her shift.

Finn rolled his eyes, turning his blinker on to get into the other lane. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Finnick, you were screaming.”

“Sorry it woke you up.”

“I’m a light sleeper, comes from growing up in such a big burrow.” She fixed him with a firm look. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

Damn, she really wasn’t to let this go, was she? Finn shook his head, pulling up to and parking in front of the station. “Flopsy, I’m fine, okay?”

She reached over to place her paw on his, her eyes searching his. “Are you sure?”

_ No. _ “Yeah.” He pulled his paw out from under hers, reaching over to pat her head. “Now, get out. I gotta get to work.” He unlocked the doors. “Want me to pick up anything for dinner before I pick you up tonight?”

“Some tofu pad tai, please.” She unbuckled and leaned over to peck him on the cheek before opening the door. “Try to have a good day, okay?” She hopped down, closing the door and trotting up the steps, stopping to hug a fat cheetah and a tigress before going in.

Finn flopped back against his seat, staring out his windshield at nothing. Truth be told, the dream from last night really shook him. The rest of the night played out the same dream more or less, and while he was glad he hadn’t screamed again he was angry that he’d woken up shaking harder than before. It just seemed...so real…

Maybe he should go see her again soon…

Finn checked the time and shook his head, starting up his van again and hurrying back to the highway. No time for that now. He had to work.

* * *

_ “No…!” _

_ He ran over to the female laying on his floor, grabbing her up in his arms and shaking her. “Bells? Bells! C’mon, wake up, open your eyes! Please!” He leaned down to press his ear to her chest, hoping and praying that he heard something. _

_ But he didn’t. Her heart wasn’t beating… _

_ “No, no, no, no!” He shook her again, tears falling unbidden from his eyes. “Don’t do this to me! Wake up! Wake the fuck up, you bitch!” _

_ She didn’t respond. She was still, going cold in his arms. _

_ “Bella…!” _

“Finn, wake up!” Judy shook him, her voice sharp with worry.   
  
He jerked awake, his chest heaving, red eyes still blurry with sleep staring up at her, wide. “F-Flopsy??”   
  
She gathered him into her arms, rocking him back and forth gently. “Shh, it’s okay, it was just a dream.”   
  
Finnick clung to her, shaking, gasping. He clenched his eyes shut tight, trying to hold back tears from falling.   
  
Inari, how could he have been so stupid??   
  
It took a few minutes before he felt okay enough to push away from her, and she let him go immediately. She got and went to the kitchen, getting him a glass of water. He took it gratefully from her, taking slow sips. It wouldn’t do him any good to gulp it down, he needed to be able to keep it down. The bunny sat by him, quiet, rubbing his back just as she had the night before. He was grateful for it, though also bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” Her eyes were almost pleading as she looked at him. “And don’t tell me that it’s nothing. You were screaming again.”

He shook his head, clenching his jaw. No way was he going to burden her with that shit.

“Finn, please, I want to help!”

“No, Judy.” Why did this have to happen? He had been doing so good, he hadn’t dreamed about her in so long.

“Who’s Bella?”

Fuck. Just hearing her name out loud sent cold chills down his spine. He clammed up tight, drawing away from her. He set the glass down and crossed his arms tight over his chest, his shoulders hunched. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Finn--”

“Flopsy--”

“You were screaming her name. You sounded like you were in pain. You can’t just tell me not to worry about it.”

“Well, I am.” He looked at her sharply, eyebrows furrowing. “I’m not talking about this.”

“Why not??” Her eyes searched his desperately. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do, but this isn’t something I want to talk about right now.” Why did she have to make this so hard? Couldn’t she see how much he was hurting? Surely she understood this.

She stared at him for a few moments more before sighing, reaching up to smooth her ears down. “Fine. It’s late, we both need to sleep.” She looked at him, gaze firm. “But we are going to talk about this, Finnick Leary.” Then she was up and back to her room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

He groaned and flopped back down, crossing his arms over his eyes. “Gods fucking damn it.”

* * *

He didn’t get much more sleep, and the ride to the station was silent that morning. She didn’t even look at him when she got out, slamming the van door and stomping into the station, not even greeting the other officers before going in. He winced and shook his head before heading to work. Obviously she was angry, but hopefully she would get over it by tonight. He really didn’t want to deal with an angry bunny all evening.

His job was tedious and mundane, but on days like today he really didn’t mind. The continuous work helped to keep his mind from wandering, plus it was Friday which meant they were busier than usual. The owners, Tony and Maria, two sweet boars, were in, and they commented on how hard he worked and how grateful they were for it. He liked them, they were good animals who had worked hard to get where they were. They almost reminded him of himself in that way… He shook that thought out of his mind.

No, they were much better mammals than him. They had probably never done what he’d done….what he’d almost done.

Judy still wouldn’t even look at him when he picked her up that evening. He didn’t even try to make conversation, understanding her frustration. After all, he deserved it. But he just couldn’t talk about it. Not to her. He didn’t want her to think badly of him…

It was still silent as they had dinner, and he expected her to go to her room straight away, but she surprised him by sitting down beside him on the couch. She finally looked at him, and something about the look in her eyes made him bristle. 

“I called Nick. He told me who Bella is.”

Fuck. “And? What did he say about her?” He clenched his paws in his lap, refusing to look at her. Oh, how the tables turned.

“That she’s your ex. That she hurt you badly, that she’s the reason you’re living in your van. And…” she paused before going on, “that she’s the reason you guys had your falling out.”

“Hm.” That definitely wasn’t all the fox had said about her. Nick hated Bella, always had. Finn could only imagine the shit he’d probably bitched about to the bunny.   
  
Judy leaned over and tried to put a paw on his, but he jerked it away from her. “Finn. I get it. She was awful, slept around and took your money--”

“No, she didn’t.” He glared at the rabbit, his lip raising on one side. “She didn’t ‘sleep around,’ her pimp made her entertain other animals.”

She blinked, surprised. “She was a prostitute?”

Fucking, damn it, he’d said too much. He looked away, feeling himself starting to shut down again. “Forget it, okay?”

“Finn, talk to me, please!” She grabbed his paw, refusing to let go when he tried to pull it away from her. “Tell me what happened. I can help you--”

“No, you can’t! No one can!”  _ Stop it _ . He took in a deep breath, trying to get his bearings back. Yelling at her wouldn’t fix anything. He gently pried her paws off of his, fixing her with a firm look. “What happened is in the past. Okay? I can’t go back and fix it, no one can. What’s the point in talking about it?”

“You’re clearly not over it, you’ve been having nightmares about her.” The bunny’s eyes were concerned as she stared at him. “Clearly what Nick told me isn’t entirely true, so why don’t you just talk to me and we can get it all cleared up.”

“Because I don’t want to.” Gods, she was so persistent and he was so fucking tired. 

“Finn, please, I just want to help.”

“I know you do.” He understood that, but, fuck, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. No one could. “Look...she’s gone. Okay? Bella’s gone.”

Judy looked like he had just struck her, flinching back as her ears fell down her back. “She’s...she’s dead?”

“What? No.” He shook his head, reaching out to her. “No, she’s not dead.” He frowned, pulling his paw back as his ears laid back. “But she might as well be.”

“Finn.”

He shook his head. “I’m not talking about it, Flopsy. Please. Let this one go.”

It was quiet for a bit before she finally sighed. “Okay. Fine.” She got up, giving him one last sad look before heading into her bedroom, closing the door faintly behind her.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in, then leaned forward and pressed the heels of his paws into his eyes. “Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.” Why was it like this? Why was it always like this when it came to her? Why had he had to have gotten all wrapped in it? Why hadn’t he just listened to Big?

_ “Never fall in love with a prostitute, Finnegan. It always ends badly.” _

He had been right, so fucking right that Finn hated it. He hated the whole situation, he hated everything that they’d had to go through. He hated this, hated dreaming about her, hated remembering her, hated having to suffer for her. He hated that he had been stupid enough to get caught up in everything, hated that he’d ever believed that she could love him.

But, most of all...he hated himself for not hating her.

“Lord Inari, please, help me. I don’t know what to do…”

* * *

_ It took a moment for him to remember to try CPR on her. After a few minutes of trying it and convinced that he’d lost her forever, he’d gotten a heartbeat. Faint, barely beating, but still there. After that he was quick to call an ambulance, who seemed to take forever to get there. The whole time he was waiting for them, he held her close to him, rocking her back and forth, whispering fiercely to her. _

_ “Don’t leave me...please don’t leave me…” _

_ The ambulance finally arrived and thankfully they let him ride with them to the hospital. They rushed her to the ER, telling him to stay and wait for someone to come update him. _

_ The next hour was one of the worst of his life. He paced in the waiting room back and forth, wringing his paws, praying to any god that was listening to please save her, spare her, take him instead. Just...please. Don’t let her leave this world. He didn’t know if he would be able to go on if she wasn’t by his side anymore. _

_ Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a badger came out to talk to him. “Finnick Leary?” _

_ He rushed over to her, eyes wide and ears trembling. “That’s me. How is she??” _

_ “Alive, but just barely. She’s lucky to be alive, drug overdoses like this usually kill animals.” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Drugs?” His mind whirled, trying to make sense of it. Bella didn’t do drugs, she’d been vehemently against it. Why on earth would she do that, she knew how bad Cabone’s batches usually were. Was...was this his fault? Had their fight pushed her to this? Oh, gods. He shoved that away, looking up at the nurse. “Can I see her?” _

_ The badger hesitated. “Yes, but...there’s something you should know first.” _

_ His heart felt like it had sank all the way down to his feet. “What? What is it?” _

* * *

The next two days were hard. He and Judy barely spoke to each other, both walking on eggshells around the other. Finn hated it. The dreams he was having were getting worse, too. At this point, they were memories, ones he had long ago shoved into a dark corner of his mind, never letting himself think about them. What was the point, it was done and over with. It made no sense for him to dwell on it.

Apparently his subconscious disagreed.

By the third day he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to get out of the apartment. It was too tense and quiet in there now, though he was well aware that it was his fault. If he just talked to her, worked it out...but something deep inside held back. He just wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

He drove around, doing little errands. First he stopped by Marlow’s to see how the sun bear was doing. Then he stopped by Marian’s to see her for a little bit. She could tell that something was on his mind, but she didn’t push. Thank Inari. Then he stopped by a bistro, grabbing a sandwich and a few bottles of water, then he stopped by a flower stand to get some lilies and a few strands of lavender. They always made him think of her…

By the middle of the day, though, he could feel eyes on his back, watching him. And he was pretty sure he knew who it was.

Gods, she really couldn’t just leave it alone, could she?

Then, finally, he knew that he couldn’t avoid it any longer. Finn drove his van up towards Peak Street, right near the center of the city. There were a few stops on the transit line there, and close to the third station was a building that stood out among all the others. It was only one story, but was long, consisting of what looked like four separate buildings all attached in the middle. There was a garden and a fountain on one side, and on the other was a pool and what looked like tennis courts. There were only about five vehicles parked in front of it, excluding his. The buildings were stark white, the doors all metal and painted a dark green color.

Finnick parked in the parking lot, unbuckling and grabbing the flowers. He got out, closing the door behind him before taking in a deep breath and heading towards the front door. But he stopped when he saw the bunny sitting on the curb. For fuck’s sake. He huffed, trotting up to her and stopping in front of her. “Flopsy.”

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes sheepish. “Hi.”

“Why have you been stalking me all day?”

“I wasn’t stalking you, I was following you.”   
  
“Same thing.” He looked down at her, one eyebrow raised. “How did you know where to find me?”   
  
“Nick told me that you come here to visit her. I tried to get in, but the nurses won’t let me in. Stupid HIPPO Act.” Judy huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, fuck them for trying to protect their patients.” Finn rolled his eyes at her, stepping around her towards the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me--”

“Wait.” She sprang up, grabbing his arm before he could go any further. “Finn. Please. Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He yanked out of her grip, glaring at her.

“Let me come in with you. Please.”

“No.”

“Why not?!” She threw up her paws, frustrated. “Why are you still pushing me away? You say you trust me, but you refuse to talk to me about this. We’re supposed to be best friends, no secrets, remember?”

“Some shit is just too much to let it up in the air like that. This is  _ my _ shit, Flopsy.  _ Mine _ . Not yours. You can’t just insert yourself into every situation, okay? I’m handling it just fine. So how about you take that little tail of yours and beat it!”

Her expression fell, her whole demeanor deflating. Her ears fell down her back and she rubbed her arm with a paw, looking down at the pavement. “I...I’m sorry. I just...wanted to help.” Her lips trembled, her violet eyes seeming to be getting watery. “I know it’s none of my business, and I shouldn’t pry. I just want to help my friend. I don’t know what else to do, you keep pushing me away.” She looked at him, sniffling and wiping at her eyes. “You don’t always have to do this alone, Finn.”

Damn it. Why did she have to look like that? Why couldn’t she just get angry and stomp off? It would be so much easier to tell her to fuck off if she did. Instead, she had to look so sad and it ate at his heart. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings.

“Ugh.” He groaned, rubbing his temples with one paw before glaring at her. “Fine. Fine. But,” he held up a finger when she brightened and got excited, “you have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone else about this. Not your coworkers, not your family, no one.” He fixed her with an intense look, his paw clenching around the flowers.

She blinked, taken aback, but nodded. “I promise.”

He nodded. “Okay. Good.” She didn’t understand yet, but she would. Especially if she was serious about this. And, gods, he hoped she was. He couldn’t afford to take this lightly.

Finn led her over to the door, heading in and signing the both of them in before heading into the building.

The inside was painted nude colors, soft tans and light browns and creams. It was all wood flooring, with a giant 125 gallon fish tank on one wall when you first entered. To the right was a large room surrounded by windows, with couches and a piano in it. Finn led the bunny down a hall, passing many mammals in wheelchairs pushed by nurses. All of the animals were either elderly or clearly unable to care for themselves for various reasons. 

As they passed by the cafeteria, Finn spotted a pig nurse and smiled, waving at her. “Hey, Martha.”

The sow blinked, then grinned, trotting over to them. Her brown eyes were happy, the smile on her snout warm. “Mr. Leary! Always good to see you.”

He chuckled, rolling his eyes with a smile. “Martha, how many times are we gonna do this? Just call me Finn.”

“Every time, Mr. Leary.” Martha giggled then looked at Judy, tilting her head curiously. “And who’s this?”

Judy stepped out, reaching out a paw to the nurse with a grin. “Judy Hopps, ma’am. Nice to meet you.”   
  
The pig gasped and took the bunny’s paw in both hooves, clearly star-struck. “Officer Hopps! It is such an honor to have you here!” She let go, looking at Finnick again. “I didn’t know you had such famous friends!”

“Just the one, Martha.” Finn glanced into the cafeteria before looking back at the pig, lowering his voice. “How is she today?”

“No changes,” Martha told him, her eyes sympathetic.

“Hm.”

“It’s better than getting worse, though!” The pig beamed at him, making happy gestures with her hooves. “We took her outside today so she could get some fresh air, though we didn’t keep her out too long since, well, ya know.”

“The struggles of being born an arctic mammal.” Finn jerked his thumb down the hall. “She in her room?”

“Mm hm. Do you want me to go with you?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, Martha.”

“Of course.” The sow nodded at the both of them. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Hopps.”

“Nice to meet you!” Judy called back as she hurried to keep up with Finn, who had started down the hallway without her. When she caught up, she smiled at him. “She seems nice.”

“She’s very nice. Probably too much for her own good.” Finn led the bunny down the hall, his grip on the flowers tightening and a lump forming in his throat. He hadn’t been here in a while. Martha said there had been no changes, but he wouldn’t be satisfied until he saw her for himself.

The door was open when they got to the room. It was the same color as the rest of the care center, though the bottom half of the walls were covered in flowery wallpaper. A bed was pushed up against one wall, a lever on the bottom to easily move it up and down. Attached on the opposite wall was a television, currently playing a soap opera that no one was paying attention to. On the same wall was a dresser with drawers, and a window with open curtains was on the last wall.

And, sat in front of the TV in a wheelchair, was a tiny arctic fox vixen. She would have been no more than a head taller than Finn if she stood. It was clear she was beautiful once, with her soft snowy white fur and delicate features. Her footpaws were missing their claws, her toes still showing signs of misuse from years of dancing. Her eyes were a beautiful sapphire blue, looking as if they were once full of life, though now they were dull, unfocused, seeming to be looking through them. 

Finn took in a deep breath before stepping in, plastering a smile on his muzzle. “Hey, Bells. Sorry it’s been so long, there’s been a lot going on.”

There was no response. She didn’t move, didn’t even blink.

_ Ah. Still no changes. Got it. _

He looked over at Judy, gesturing for her to come in. The bunny looked apprehensive, but she carefully stepped in, padding over to him and standing awkwardly at his side. He took her paw in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I guess introductions are in order. Bells, this is Judy Hopps, Zootopia’s first rabbit police officer.” He let go of Judy’s paw and gestured at the vixen. “Judy, this is Bella White. My ex.”

The bunny looked between the two of them, her ears falling down her back. “Ah...it’s n-nice to meet you.” She nibbled on her bottom lip, one paw rubbing her arm, her nose twitching furiously. For the first time in a long time, she seemed lost, helpless.

His first instinct was to go over and reassure her, but she had been the one who had asked to come with her. This had been her choice. And, truthfully, there really wasn’t anything he could say or do to make this better. It was a melancholy situation, a bitter reminder of how they could end up.

This was real life, and it sucked.

Finnick sighed, reaching over to stroke Bella’s tiny ears. The vixen had no reaction to being touched, still just staring blankly at nothing. He sighed, his smile grim as he looked down at her. “Well, I guess we should fill you in on everything you’ve missed, huh?”

* * *

They only stayed for about three hours, which was how long it took Finn to update Bella on everything that happened over the past eight months. There was no change in her expression or gaze as he spoke, but he liked to think that she was listening. At some point Judy had taken a seat on a stool Martha had brought in. The whole time the bunny kept quiet, only piping up to correct Finn if he missed a particular detail. It was so odd to see her so subdued.

By the time they left the home the sun was setting. The deep purples and oranges lit the parking lot as they made their way back to his van. They got in and Finn glanced over at Judy, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Hey, you good?”

She blinked and looked over at him, her violet eyes holding a look that he couldn’t quite identify. It worried him. Usually she was so easy to read, but now…

Judy nodded and looked out the window, resting her chin on her paw. “Yeah. I’m good.”

He doubted that, but he didn’t have any fight left in him. Instead, he started up the van and headed back into the city, to the apartment. It was another silent ride back, and as worried as he was, he knew that he couldn’t be the one to break it. This wasn’t on him anymore. She’d gotten her answers. 

When they got back to the apartment Judy went to take a shower, which left Finnick alone on the couch with his thoughts. He sighed, rubbing his paws over his face and leaning his side into the cushions, lost in a myriad of thoughts that he couldn’t even begin to try to explain.

Ten minutes later the bunny was out of the shower, dressed in a tank top and shorts. She made her way over and sat down on the other end of the couch, her paws stroking one of her ears that she had pulled over her shoulder. She glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes, the look in them hesitant, scared almost. “Hey...Finn?”

He sat up and looked at her, brows raised. “Hm?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. Her eyes looked back and forth, her paws petting her ear almost frantically. “What…” She looked over at him and swallowed hard before trying again. “What...what’s wrong with her?”

There it was. Finn sighed and flopped back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling. This had been such a long time coming. He had told Marian about it a couple of months ago, but she was basically his mom. It was impossible to keep stuff from her. But Judy…

Gods, what would she think of him?

Finnick closed his eyes, the doctors words from so long ago coming back to him.

_ “We were able to get her back, but...she’s not responding to anything. We’ve tried her reflexes, sound reactions, everything. She’s just not here anymore. She’s completely shut down. I’m so sorry, Mr. Leary…” _

Tears were falling down his face and Finn wiped them away fiercely. God damn, would he ever stop crying over this?? It had been three years...why did it still get to him?

“She’s comatose. She had too much happen to her at one time and she checked out.” He let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. Fuck, it was still so hard…   
  
“What happened?” Judy carefully set her paw on top of his, giving him time to pull away if he wanted to.   
  
But he didn’t. He was so tired of holding all of this inside of him, so tired of being alone in all of his pain. All of his fear that any and everyone would leave him if they knew the truth about him, about what he had done...it was just too much. 

He broke.   
  
A strangled sound left him, and he threw an arm over his eyes to hide the tears that were coming down his face, though he turned his paw over to cling to hers. It was all so much, too much, gods, it hurt so badly. Why had this happened, why couldn’t they have just made it work? He had loved her...so much…

“It’s my fault,” he choked out, tightening his grip on her paw. “I yelled at her and broke up with her, and she was already having such a hard time, and she went out and her pimp must have convinced her to get high and then she was gone!” Fuck, he was sobbing now and it hurt so much, but it also felt good. He had been holding all of this in for three years and, shit, it felt so good to get out. “I came home and she was collapsed on the floor, and I tried to save her, I swear I did, but it wasn’t enough. She was gone. I couldn’t get her back, and she was gone. Gods, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Bells, I’m so sorry!” He let go of her paw to cover his eyes with his fists, sobs wracking his tiny body. “Bells, Bella, I’m so sorry…!”

Judy didn’t say anything, just scooted over and took him into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist, sobbing into her shoulder. The bunny didn’t speak, just held him tight, rubbing her cheek gently against the side of his head. She was so soft and warm and she smelled so nice, and it was more than he ever could have asked for. Her silence was comforting now, a warm blanket that let him know that she was going to be here for him, she wasn’t going anywhere.

And, for the first time in a long time, he believed it.

* * *

“She was a prostitute,” Finn told Judy after he was able to get control of himself. They were on the couch, her arm around him, his head rested on her shoulder. He hadn’t felt this close to another animal in such a long time. “But she didn’t want to be,” he continued, closing his eyes and relaxing into her as he felt her paw stroke his ears. “She wanted to get away from it all, but she didn’t feel like she could. Her pimp had her tangled so deep in his web, and she couldn’t see a way out.”   
  
“Al Cabone,” Judy nodded, leaning her head against his. “I looked her up in the system and her file brought up his.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “He was a monster. He thought of himself as this suave mob boss, but he was nothing more than a low-brow pimp. Girls and drugs were the only things he had going for him, which is why Big refused to associate with him. But Cabone tried to worm his way by having Bella seduce me. But...I fell for her. Hard.”

“Did she feel the same way?”

He shook his head. “No. She did love me, but she was never  _ in _ love with me, ya know?”

“Mm hm,” she nodded.

“Anyways, we were together for about...two years, I think? Two-and-a-half? It always seemed longer. I wanted to get her out, but...she pushed me away. Then shit just got worse and worse. Her mom died, then she found out that she was infertile. She started retreating further and further into herself, shoving me away and refusing to let me back in. I didn’t know what to do. I tried everything to get her to trust me, but in the end…” He paused, swallowing hard.

“It just wasn’t enough for her.”

Judy pulled away just enough so that she could look into his eyes. “What happened?”   
  
Finnick closed his eyes and sighed, thinking back to that night…

* * *

_ Sick. He felt so sick. He stumbled away from the room, down the hall, his vision swimming and his head whirling. He could hear Bella sobbing in the room, heard Nick scrambling to catch up to him. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Finn, please, listen--” _

_ Finn turned around sharply, snarling at the red fox standing before him. “There’s nothing you can say that will help!” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Listen, it was a mistake, we were drunk--” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “So that makes it okay for you to fuck my girlfriend?!” Finn screamed at him, reaching for his bat and swinging at his friend. No, former friend. “Get the fuck out of my face! I don’t  _ ever _ want to see you again! You fucking hear me?!” _

_ “Finn.” _

_ His eyes flew to look at Bella, standing in the doorway of the motel room, tears streaming down her face from her beautiful blue eyes. She took a tentative step towards him, walking on her tip toes as always. “Please, it wasn’t all his fault--” _

_ “You bitch.” Finn growled at her, the fur on the back of his neck standing up. “I did  _ everything _ for you. And this is how you repay me?!” _

_ She started sobbing, gripping the sheet that she had wrapped around herself. “Please--” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “No! Fuck both of you!” he snarled, his grip on his bat tightening. “How could you have done this to me?” Tears were falling down his face, but he didn’t bother even trying to wipe them away now. “I never want to see either of you ever again! You hear me? You get your shit out of my house and  _ get the fuck out _!”  _

_ He ignored the hurt looks on both of their faces, turning around and stomping over to his van, getting in and driving away so fast that the tires screeched on the pavement. _

* * *

He sat up and rubbed his paws over his face, letting out a shaky sigh. “That morning when I came home, I found Bella on my bedroom floor, out cold. Her heart wasn’t beating. I thought she was dead.”

“But you revived her. You helped her.” Judy rubbed his arm. “You saved her.”   
  
Finn shrugged weakly. “Maybe she didn’t want to be saved. Maybe in the end, I only made things worse for her.” He leaned back into the couch, groaning. Fuck, his back hurt. He was getting too old for this shit. “That’s why I pay for her to stay in that home. It’s the least that I can do for her.”

Suddenly her paw was gripping his chin and turning his head, forcing him to look at her. The intensity in her eyes took his breath away, but it also scared the shit out of him. “Listen to me. You don’t owe her anything. Alright? What happened was her choice, she did that to herself.”

“Because I pushed her--”

“She chose to do that. She probably knew exactly what she was doing. I know you love her, but c’mon, Finn!” She put her paws on his shoulders, giving him a light shake. “You shouldn’t have to put your life on pause just because she decided to be selfish!”   
  
His heart dropped to his stomach and he flinched away from her, his eyes wide. “Flopsy--”

“Frith, no, I’m sorry, that came out wrong.” She groaned, rubbing her face before looking at him apologetically. “That was the wrong thing to say, I’m sorry. Just…” Her paws clenched and unclenched, her eyes searching his. “You don’t owe her your life. A life for a life is such a shitty way to live, and you shouldn’t have to. I know you’re still going to pay for the home,” she huffed, displeased, crossing her arms over her chest. “So I’m not going to tell you to stop doing that. Just…” She bit her lip, gaze soft. “Don’t let this keep holding you back. Please.”

Fucking hell, how did she alway seem to know just what to say? She was so much younger than him, yet at times she seemed to be so much wiser. It was fucking incredible, and kind of humbling.   
  
But...she was right.   
  
He nodded, slowly, reaching out to take her paw in his. “Okay. Okay. I’ll try.” His eyes looked into hers. “But promise you’ll help me?”

She immediately took his paw in hers, linking their fingers together. The smile she gave him was so infectious, and he couldn’t help but return it. “I promise.”

He knew she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, feel free to talk to me on any of my various social media, and i will see you all next time!


	6. I'm Still Standing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick is about to come home, and Judy and Finnick are ready to welcome him back. But Judy seems a little nervous about it, and Finn is determined to get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hello, there! long time, no see! in my defense, i was training for a new position at my job and i had like no free time to write. but i am back and hopefully i will be able to get back to regular updates again. thank you to all of you who have stuck with me and with this story, every comment and kudos means so much to me. anyway, enough excuses and sappy talk, on to the chapter!

The next month flew by before Finnick knew it. The restaurant he worked at was in peak season, which meant his shifts went by quickly. The owners noticed how hard he worked and complimented his work ethic so much that it made the insides of his ears turn red. It had been so long since someone had taken notice of his work...since Big. It really took him aback but also filled him with a sense of pride. In fact, they were so impressed they had asked him if he wanted to train to be a bartender, an offer he eagerly agreed to. After all, if there was one thing he knew, it was alcohol.

He deserved this chance. He had to keep telling himself that.

Through the whole thing, Judy was getting more and more excited to be getting Nick back. She talked about it pretty much every day. It was actually pretty cute, though of course he would never tell her that. She would kick his ass for saying it, even if he was right. And he was. Seeing her skip around the apartment, humming and getting things ready for his return, was almost amusing. They really were just so oblivious, weren’t they? It wasn’t his place to say, though. This was their business, not his.

They were sitting on the couch one night, about a week before Nick was due to come home, when Judy looked at him, her eyes determined. “I want to throw Nick a party – to celebrate him coming home!”   
  
Finn nodded, sipping a mug of coffee. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“You think he’ll like that?” She pulled an ear over her shoulder, paws nervously stroking it.

“If it’s you? Definitely.” He gave her a smile before taking another sip.

She nodded slowly, her mouth setting firmly as she stared at the television. "I was thinking of having it on my parents farm, they have plenty of space for everything.”

“You’re not inviting all of your siblings, are you?”

“Frith, no. There are way too many of us at this point. And not all of them are as...open minded as I would like.” Her paws on her ear slowed as she seemed to be deep in thought. “I’ll invite my brothers. Except Justin, he’s a jerk. And my parents, obviously. And…” She bit her lip, brows furrowing. “I’ll invite Angelica. There’s no guarantee that she’ll come...but I can try.”

Finn nodded, just letting her talk. He had no idea who any of these bunnies were, but saying all of this out loud seemed to help her. “Whatever you want, Flopsy.”

“Ugh, I’m just rambling now.” She giggled nervously, letting go of her ear to cover her face with her paws. “You probably think I’m crazy.”

“Yeah, but I still love ya.” He grinned at her before drinking the last of his coffee, setting the empty mug on the coffee table.

The bunny rolled her eyes at him, the corners of her mouth turned up. “Har har, you’re soooo funny.” She reached over to shove him playfully then flopped back into the couch, letting out a happy sigh. “You know what, I’m just not gonna worry about it right now. I’m just gonna focus on the fact that Nick is coming home soon and I’m going to have my partner back!” 

“There ya go,” Finn nodded at her, leaning back against the arm of the couch.

“Thought maybe I can convince him to move into a different apartment.” Judy looked around, her nose crinkling. “You were right, this place  _ is  _ a shithole.”

He couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter. It was real and true laugh, one that made him shake from head to toe, clutching his stomach as he wheezed for breath. It really wasn’t that funny, but for some reason it just hit him right in the funny bone. Fucking brilliant.

It didn’t take long for her to join him in hysterics, almost falling off the couch from how hard she was laughing. For the next few minutes they just filled the air around them with laughter, to the point where they were both gasping for breath.

When that was over, Judy scooched over on the couch so she could lean her head on his shoulder, fits of giggles still hitting her every now and then. “It wasn’t even THAT funny, Finn.”

“I know, Flopsy, I know.” Finnick chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into him, nudging the side of her head with his nose. “I’m glad it made you laugh, though.”

Judy nodded, cuddling into him and letting out a soft hum. There were a few moments of comfortable silence between them before she broke it. “Hey, Finn?”

“Hm?” He tilted his head slightly towards her.   
  
“I just...wanted to say thanks.”

_ Wait, what? _ He blinked, pulling away enough to be able to look at her. “You’re thanking  _ me _ ?”

“Well, yeah,” she said, sitting up and pulling an ear over her shoulder again.   
  
“For what?”   
  
“For sticking with me, I guess.” She was playing with her ear again, a habit he’d noticed that she only did when she was nervous.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He was genuinely curious now.   
  
She seemed to take a moment, as if to think about things, before continuing. “I dunno. I just...I’ve never really had that many friends.” She chewed on her lip. “Back in the Burrows, everyone thought I was crazy, for wanting to be a cop. Even some of my siblings made fun of me for it. I was able to block all of it out, pretended like it didn’t bother me, but I’ve realized over these last months just how...lonely I was.”

His heart ached for her, though he didn’t dare interrupt her right now.

“But now,” she looked up at him, her eyes shining, “I have you, and Nick, and Clawhauser, and Fangmeyer, and just so many more friends than I’ve ever had. I have animals that I can trust, ones that care about me and want me to be successful. It’s just...it’s so much more than I ever could have hoped for, and I’m so grateful.” She leaned over to hug him again, nuzzling her cheek against the top of his head. “So, thank you for being my friend.”

Finn chuckled, hugging her back. “Now now, don’t go gettin’ sappy on me.” He pulled away, running a paw over her ears and grinning when it earned him a pleased coo from her. Now that was adorable. He waited until she settled back into the couch before talking again. “So, you really are excited about Nick coming back, huh?”

The bunny nodded, a soft smile on her lips. “Yeah. I really miss him. I mean, we text all the time and I call him every chance, but--it’s just not the same, ya know?” She shook her head, running a paw over her ears. “That sounds really cheesy, doesn’t it?”

“A little.” He smiled at her. “But it’s cute.”   
  
“Finnick--”

“Er, sorry. It’s...adorable?” He shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “Is that better?”

She chuckled and shook her head, curling into her spot on the couch. “It’ll do, I suppose.” She sighed and rested her chin on her paw. “It’s gonna get crowded on here when Nick gets back.”

Finn looked over at her, unable to hide the amusement in his voice. “You like him, don’tcha?”

Her reaction kind of surprised him. He expected her to sputter, to get flustered and try to deny it. Instead, she just gave him a half-smile and nodded, wrapping her arms around her legs. “Yeah. I do.” She leaned her cheek on her knees, nibbling on her bottom lip. “But that’s the problem.”

_ The hell? _ “Why is that a problem?”

“Because,” She sighed again, bumping her forehead on her knees. “Animals have certain… expectations when it comes to bunnies and dating. But… I’ve never felt that way.” She glanced at him, the look on her face anxious. “Ever.”

The wheels in his head were turning as he tried to understand what she was trying to tell him. “So...you’ve never felt attracted to anyone?”

Judy shook her head. “Not really. I had a couple of boyfriends in high school, but it never lasted long. They wanted to go so fast and I just… didn’t.” Her ears fell down her back. “I always wondered if there was something wrong with me, because I never wanted to… do what bunnies do, I guess is a polite way of saying it. I even went to the doctor one time just to make sure that there wasn’t anything wrong with me.”   
  
“What did they say?” Finn leaned forward, ears pricked up towards her.

“Well, I actually found out that I’m infertile.” She held out a paw to him right as he opened his mouth. “Please, don’t say you’re sorry. It didn’t really affect me that much, I’ve never really wanted kits of my own. There are enough rabbits in the world. I would much rather just adopt.” The paw went down and she continued on, “Anyways, I asked the doctor if that had something to do with my low sex drive, but he said that it shouldn’t affect it like that. So, I just kind of thought that maybe I was asexual. Which, again, not really a bad thing for me. But now, with Nick…”

“You… feel that way towards him?” He reached out to put a paw on her shoulder. “Flopsy, it’s okay, it doesn’t make you a freak or anything.”   
  
She reached up to put her paw on top of his, staring over at him. “I wouldn’t care if it did. That’s not what scares me.”   
  
“Then what is it?” His thumb rubbed her fingers gently.

There was a moment of silence before she spoke. “I… I barely know him. We only knew each other for three days before everything happened, and then I… I just left.” She swallowed hard. “Then I came back, but then everything with Bellwether happened and we had to hurry to get him ready to go to the academy, and just...I don’t really know Nick at all. We talk all the time, but I still know so little about him.” She groaned and covered her face with her paws. “Frith, I don’t even know what his favorite color is!”

“Purple.”

She looked at him through her fingers, her eyes wide. “What?”

“His favorite color. It’s purple. Always has been.” Finn scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “And it’s okay that you feel this way. It’s honestly not what I expected, but now that I think about it, I’m glad you’re saying all of this. It’s so real, and it’s not how most animals would react in this kind of situation.”

“Good thing I’m not most animals,” Judy chuckled, letting her paws flop down as she leaned her head on his shoulder. “I really like him, I do. I just don’t want to go too fast with this, ya know?”

He nodded, rubbing her shoulder gently. “I definitely understand that. Inari knows I went way too fast with Bella and, well, you saw how that turned out.”

“That wasn’t your fault, Finn.”

“Yeah. But this isn’t about me.” He nudged her head with his nose. “This is about you. And, you know, you don’t have to tell him right away. You can go at whatever fucking pace you want with this kind of thing. But,” he smiled and leaned his head on hers, “you should tell him sometime. Whenever you feel comfortable.”   
  
“I will. When I think the time is right.”

“Good.”

There was silence again before she spoke up. “Thanks, Finn.”   
  
“Anything for you, kid.” He pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. “I told you before, you’re family. We take care of our own.”

* * *

The next week flew by in a blur. The days were filled with work and party planning, though Finn really only had to worry about the former. Judy and her family were taking care of everything for the party, all he had to do was drive the three of them there. Before he knew it, it was the day of Nick’s graduation. Judy got into her police dress blues, while he put on some khaki pants and his black polo. They picked up Marian, who was wearing a green dress and black shawl, then they were off to the academy.

When they arrived, everything for the graduation was already set up. Rows of chairs were set out in front of a stage with a podium on it and a long blue curtain behind it. Finn looked around, noting the crowds already gathered, waiting for the ceremony to start. In one corner were a bunch of bunnies who, when they saw them, immediately came over. Two of them, a buck in overalls and a doe in a sleeveless pink plaid shirt and jean skirt, went over to Judy and the three of them shared a big hug. When they separated, Judy gestured for Finn to come over.

_ Oh, geez. _ He went over to them all, hiding his anxiety behind a neutral expression.

Judy grinned and placed a paw on his shoulder. “Mom, dad, this is Finnick. He’s been my best friend while Nick’s been away. Finn, these are my parents, Bonnie and Stu Hopps.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Finn said, holding out a paw.

Their response really shouldn’t have surprised him, but he was still getting used to bunnies. The pair swept him into an embrace that sucked the air out of him. “It’s so good to finally meet you,” Bonnie said cheerfully.

“We’re so grateful to you for taking care of our little girl,” Stu told him, sounding like he was fighting off tears.

“Okay, guys, let him go, you’re gonna scare him!” Judy fussed, pulling at their arms.

They let him go, and while he felt a little awkward, Finn understood that they meant well. It was one of the warmest greetings he’d ever received from anyone…

He didn’t really get the chance to think it over too much when he heard someone call to them from afar. 

“Hey, Carrots! Finn!”

He turned his head in time to watch Judy sprint down the aisle of chairs into Nick’s arms, and he heard the two laughing as the fox spun her around. Gods, they were so helpless. Finn rolled his eyes, though a small smile split his lips. He made his way over to the two, reaching them just as they parted from their embrace. He raised a brow at the red fox, letting out a low whistle. “Well, don’t you clean up nice.”

Nick was dressed the most formally he’d seen him in quite some time, in the same police dress blues. The fox grinned at him, running a paw over his head. “Well, I can’t always look like I’m ready for a vacation to Pawaii beach, ya know. Have to give the ladies something to look at.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Judy, which made the bunny’s ears turn pink and she rolled her eyes.

“If they want something to look at, they can look at the ground, it’s prettier ‘n your face.” Finn crossed his arms, smirking.

Nick dramatically grabbed his chest, a faux look of shock on his face. “I am wounded, Finn. Wounded!”

“I’ll give you girls a minute alone,” Judy teased before going back to her family.

The foxes watched her go before turning back to each other. Nick stuffed his paws into his pockets, kicking lightly at the dirt. “So...you told her about Bella, huh?”

“Yep.” Finn crossed his arms over his chest, staring over Nick’s shoulder at the stage.

“She called and asked me.”

“I know.”

“Then she called again and chewed me out for not telling her the whole truth.”

“You deserved it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Nick sighed and looked at Finn, remorse in his green eyes. “I did you dirty again. I’m sorry.”

Finn looked up at his friend. Two apologies in the span of six months. Nick really  _ had _ turned over a new leaf. “I know you don’t like her, and I get why, but she’s always gonna be a part of that. Flopsy understood that after only a day.”

Nick rubbed the back of his neck with his paw, huffing softly. “It’s just...I hate how things changed when she came around. All you did was spend time with her, and I barely ever saw you. Then she screwed you over and you still helped her out. You deserved better than that.”

“It’s in the past, man. It’s over. And, hey,” Finn waited until the red fox looked at him before continuing, “you’re always gonna be my brother. That didn’t change when she was around. I’m sorry if you felt like I was ignoring you.”

Nick smiled and shook his head, clapping a paw on Finn’s shoulder. “Like you said, it’s in the past. So how about we look to the future.” He gestured towards the Hopps and Marian, who all seemed like they were getting along.

Finn looked at them and smiled. “Yeah. I like the sound of that.”

* * *

_ “...change starts with you. It starts with me. It starts with all of us.” _

Finn clapped along with everyone else when Judy finished giving her speech, watching as she hopped down from the podium and got ready to hand out the badges to the new recruits. He smiled and shook his head, just so in awe of how inspiring this one rabbit was.

As the names of the new graduates were called, he took a moment to reflect on how things had changed. In a very short amount of time, he’d gone from a broke and desolate animal, to someone with a job and friends and a family. She’d taught him how to open up, to let others in without fear that they would eventually stab him in the back. She’d help him escape debt and financial squalor by helping him find a legit job, something he hadn’t been sure he’d ever be able to find. She’d helped him reunite with Marian. She had even helped him face his past demons and made him realize that maybe, just maybe, he was worthy of a better future.

_ “Nicholas P. Wilde!” _

Finn snapped out of his trance and watched as the red fox made his way onto the stage. He watched as Judy pinned the badge to the fox’s chest, and the two shared a look as they saluted to each other. He couldn’t help but grin and shake his head.

They really were clueless. But that was alright, they had plenty of time.

After it was all over, the two made their way back over to them. Judy wrapped her arms around the two foxes, grinning from ear to ear. “So, you guys ready for the party?”

Nick looked down at her, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Party? What party?”

Finn shook his head and chuckled. “With Flopsy, sometimes you just have to go with the flow, man.”   
  
They all shared a laugh, and it was the warmest Finn had felt in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contact me through my various social media mentioned at the end of other chapters! feel free to talk to me, i love making friends! i will see you all next time!


	7. Won't Break Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the graduation party, Finnick meets a very special rabbit who catches his eye--and just happens to be right in the middle of some Hopps family drama. How does he always end up in these situations?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhh hi. it's been like two months since i updated this and i'm sorry about that. i've been furloughed and the toll it's taken on my mental health isn't great. but hopefully i go back to work in early June, so fingers crossed! i just want to say thank you to everyone supporting this little passion project of mine and for sticking with me through everything. i have the best fans a girl could ask for. anyways, let's get this show on the road.

“Are you a baby fox?”

“Do you have fangs?”

“Have you ever eaten anybody?”

“Uhh...Flopsy?” Finn looked over at the rabbit, trying not to knock over any of the bunny kits who swarmed him almost the second he arrived at the farm. All the small bunnies were fascinated by his ears, his tail, his height, and he didn’t really know how to respond to any of it.

Judy giggled and walked over to them, parting the sea of babies as she did. “Alright, guys, that’s enough. Go play with someone else.”

“Awwwww.” Their little ears fell down their backs, and for a moment Finn felt a bit of remorse. But they all scampered off before he could feel too bad.

“Not used to kits, huh?” Judy asked him, grinning from ear to ear as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Finnick shrugged, stuffing his paws into his pants pockets. “Just haven’t really had the chance to be around them. ‘Specially not rabbit kits.”

“You get used to it after a while here,” Judy shrugged, lifting a paw to adjust the straw hat on her head. She had changed into jeans and a pink plaid shirt when they arrived, and Finnick couldn’t help but think the look suited her. Like a real farm girl.

The farm was huge, acres and acres of land filled with crops and vegetable gardens. The burrow was dug into the side of a hill, and from what Judy told him it went pretty far down into the ground. With a family as big as hers, he could only imagine. He hadn’t gone in yet, too afraid of getting lost to try. And everywhere, all around, were members of her family. Bunnies of all shapes and sizes, all of them smiling and hugging and talking in happy voices. It was so different from any of the families he’d known.

_ Really goes to show how different it is here compared to in the city. Huh. _

He started when she grabbed his paw, leading him over towards a patch of flowers. “C’mere, come look at this.” She knelt down beside it, reaching out to trace a paw over a chrysanthemum. “This was my garden. I planted it when I was a kit. My parents liked to give each of us our own, to help us learn how to take care of things. But,” she chuckled, “these were the only things I could keep alive.” She looked at him, her eyes shining. “That’s how I knew I wasn’t meant for farm life.”

Before he could respond, he heard a call. He lifted his head to look, his giant ears perked up.

A larger fox in blue plaid and jeans was walking towards them, a huge grin on his face. He waved to Judy. “Well, well, if it ain’t lil Mizz Judy Hopps! How’s it goin’, baby bunny?”

The bunny laughed and stood up, waving back. “Gideon Grey! Well, I’ll be darned!” Then she ran over to him, hopping up to wrap her arms around his neck and laughing when he twirled her around.

_ Huh. Guess she really is like that with everyone.  _ Finn shook his head and made his way over to them.

After she was set back down, Judy grinned and reached out to Finnick. “Finn, c’mere! This is Gideon Grey, he works with my parents. Gideon,” she turned to the chubby red fox, “this is Finnick, one of my best friends.”

Gideon held out a paw to him, grinning. “A pleasure t’ meet ya, Mr. Finnick.”

Finn raised a brow at the fox. “So, you’re the one who scratched up her face as a kid, huh?”

The other fox’s expression fell, and he started to pull his paw back. “Heh, she told you ‘bout that, huh?”

Finn grabbed his paw before he could fully pull back, giving it a firm shake with a smile. “Any friend of Flopsy’s is a friend of mine. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Gideon.”

The other fox’s muzzle immediately broke into a smile and he eagerly shook his paw. “Yessir, it sure is!” He let go of Finn’s paw and turned to Judy. “So, who all’s comin’ to the shindig?”

“My litter, except for Justin, Natalie and her kits, Charlie and her litter might be there? I never really heard anything from her. Oh!” She grinned at him, her eyes twinkling. “And! Angelica.”   


“Angelica?”   


“Angelica!” She laughed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “She finally texted me back last night and said she’s coming!”

Finn had no idea who Angelica was, but she must have been important to Judy for her to have that kind of reaction.   
  
Gideon looked apprehensive, though. He frowned, his tail swishing behind him. “Y’ sure that’s such a good idea, Mizz Judy?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” The bunny tilted her head with a frown, her paws on her hips.    
  
Gideon looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his paw. “Well, uh, it’s jus’...”   
  
“What?” Judy’s foot tapped rapidly on the ground.

“Yer parents...they invited Mizz Lyza t’ come.”

There was a tense silence, and Finn watched as the expression on the bunny’s face turned furious. “What?!”

Gideon reached out to her, his blue eyes panicked. “Now, now, Mizz Judy--”   


“I’m gonna kill them!” Judy stomped her foot, her paws in fists at her side. “I TOLD them that I was inviting Angelica--”

“They didn’t know if she would come--”

“Still!” Judy groaned, dragging her paws down her face before looking around. “Where are they?” Then she stomped off towards some picnic tables.

Finn didn’t know if he should follow her or not, but he had a feeling that he probably should. He gave the other fox a tiny salute. “Uh, nice to meet you, again.”

“Anytime,” Gideon called after him as he hurried after the bunny.

Finnick reached Judy just in time to pick up on the intense-looking argument with her parents.

“--you didn’t even tell me that you invited her!” Judy was protesting, gesturing angrily with her paws.   


“I’m sorry, Jude, we just thought it would be good to get her kits out of the house.” Stu apologized, looking abashed.

“Elyza’s been having some problems with Alec,” Bonnie said, sounding defensive.

“They’re always having problems! He’s an asshole.” Judy huffed, brushing her ears down her back. “I just wish you had told me.”

“What’s the big deal?” Stu asked, seeming genuinely confused. “We’re all family.”   
  
“The big deal is that you didn’t tell me, guys,” Judy chided them. “And Angelica said that she’s coming.”

Her parents looked almost shocked, with something else that Finn just couldn’t make out. “Oh.”

Judy sighed and reached out to place a paw on each of their shoulders. “It’s fine, we’ll figure it out. Just warn me next time you do something like this, okay?”

Her parents nodded before walking away, mumbling to each other. Judy sighed before turning around, starting a bit when she saw him. “You heard?”

He nodded, shoving his paws into his pockets. “You gonna be okay?”

She sighed and nodded, her paw rubbing her arm. “Yeah, I think so.” She gave him a grim half-smile. “Sorry to get you caught up in all of this.”

“Eh, I’ve seen worse,” he shrugged, hopping up onto a picnic table and sitting down. “You wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head. “No.” Then, she hesitated. “Yes?” She groaned and flopped down on the bench, rubbing at her temples with her fingers. “I don’t know. It’s complicated, and I don’t want to overwhelm you with details.”   
  
“Then just tell me what I need to know for now,” Finn told her, gently patting her shoulder. 

Judy sighed and looked up at him, her ears falling down her back again. “Okay, so two of my sisters stopped getting along about three years ago. I don’t know why, no one does, they won’t talk about it. I invited one of my sisters, Angelica, to the party because she helped Nick and I when we came back to Bunnyburrow. She hasn’t really left her house in those three years, but I was really hoping she would say yes. And she did. But now my other sister, Elyza, is coming and I just…” She groaned, thumping her head on his knee. “I wanted this to be a fun day, not one filled with drama.”

He gently patted her shoulder. “Hey, I’m sure it’ll be okay. Animals can change in three years. Maybe they’ll get along today. And,” he waited for her to look at him so he could give her a playful grin, “if they try to start anything, I can always get the bat.”

She giggled and gave him a playful shove in return. “I want my family to like you, Finn.”

“I think they’d like me even more for putting an end to the problem.”

She shook her head, standing up and stretching. “You’re ridiculous. But thank you.”

“Any time.” He grinned and looked at her. “So. What now?”

Judy gazed out at the growing and gathering crowd of bunnies, giving a slight shrug. “We wait.”

“Hey, Carrots, Finn.”

The two turned their heads to see Nick walking towards them, his paws in his pockets. He stopped by the bench they were on, tilting his head at them. “Everything okay? You look...worried.”

Judy shook her head, reaching over to the red fox. “Don’t worry about it.” She looked over at Finnick, holding out her other paw to him. “I think my family could use some more help setting stuff up. You coming?”

“Yep.” Finnick climbed down from the table, going to stand by her side. He gave her a paw a quick squeeze before letting go. “Let’s get out of here, eh?”

“You sure everything’s okay?” Nick asked again, taking a paw out of his pocket to take hers.   
  
“I’ll tell you later,” Judy assured him before starting to lead the two foxes away. “For now, let’s just enjoy ourselves. The Hopps clan knows how to throw one heck of a party! And, oo, Nick, I have to introduce you to Gideon, he’ll be so thrilled to meet you!” The bunny kept rambling on as she led the foxes away from the table.   
  
Finn couldn’t help taking one last look over his shoulder, his brows drawn together. For her sake, he hoped that everything  _ would _ work itself out.

* * *

It didn’t take long for the family to start pouring in. As it turned out, Bonnie and Stu had invited a lot more than Judy had thought. They had apologized to her about it and all she had been able to do was sigh and shake her head. “I know they mean well, but I really didn’t want to overwhelm you guys,” she had told Nick and Finn with an apologetic look in her eyes.  
  
Nick had just shrugged and smiled. “I’m gonna have to start getting used to more animals being around now, so might as well start somewhere, right?”  
  
“What about you?” she’d asked Finnick.  
  
He’d just shrugged as well. “Big used to have parties with way more animals than this. I can handle it.”  
  
They’d been introduced to so many siblings that it would be impossible to keep track of all the names. The ones who stood out were Natalie, one of Judy’s younger sisters who was apparently married to her ex from high school, and two of her brothers from her litter, Jason and Jesse. “Where’s Jared?” she’d asked her brothers.  
  
“He’ll be here later,” she was told as the two bucks shared a grin that none of them could read.  
  
And, finally, they got to meet the sister that Judy had been worried about. Though, when Finn finally saw her, he couldn’t really understand where the worry was coming from.  
  
Elyza Hopps-Haddish didn’t seem like a rabbit who wanted to cause trouble. Tannish cream fur, with brown ear tips and paws, she looked so nervous that Finn was worried she would topple over. She was followed in by a brood of twelve kits, way too many in his book but then again they came from a family of over three hundred. Elyza looked at Judy with a tiny grin, her green eyes cautious. “Hey. It’s nice to see you. It’s been awhile.”  
  
“Yep, it sure has,” Judy said back curtly, more harsh than Finn was used to. _Ouch_.  
  
The other doe seemed to sense it, her ears falling down her back. “Have you seen mom and dad?”  
  
Judy jerked a thumb over her shoulder before crossing her arms tight over her chest. “They’re by the driveway.”  
  
“Right. C’mon, kids.” Elyza gathered her children and led them away, glancing over at her sister with a slightly pained look.  
  
When they were gone Finn looked over at her. “Kinda harsh there, Flopsy.”  
  
“Yeah, probably.” The bunny sighed, running a paw over her head. “It’s a long story.”  
  
Nick put his paws on her shoulders, giving her a small smile. “Why don’t you go talk to your brothers, see if that can’t cheer you up.”  
  
“You clearly haven’t grown up with siblings if you think that’s going to cheer me up,” she snarked back at him with a grin, but she did turn on her heel and go to join her brothers by a picnic bench.  
  
Finn watched her go then turned to Nick, a brow raised. “Any reason you sent her off like that?”  
  
“Yeah. I wanted to get your opinion on something, since you two are so close now.” The red fox rubbed his paws together before looking at him. “I had a lot of downtime in the academy to think, and I realized that I like her – a lot. And I think that maybe later tonight, after all the festivities die down, I wanna tell her--”  
  
“Don’t,” Finn cut him off, holding up a paw.  
  
Nick blinked at him. “What?”  
  
“Don’t do it, fox.”  
  
“Why not? Does she not feel the same way?”  
  
Finn let out a sharp laugh. “That is the least of your problems, kid.” He looked up at Nick, his mouth set in a firm line. “If you tell her now, you _will_ lose her. She is not ready for that. Hell, you two barely know each other.”  
  
“That’s not true,” Nick tried to argue, but again Finn cut him off.  
  
“You knew each other for like, what, less than two days before the press conference, right?” He waited for Nick to nod before continuing. “And then you didn’t really have a whole lot of time together when she came back, with us trying to get her moved in and you ready for the academy. And yeah, I know you two talked on the phone every day during academy,” he waved off the protest he knew was coming, “but we both know that’s different from getting to know a mammal face to face. You don’t know each other, and rushing into a relationship with someone you don’t know can be a fuckin’ disaster.” Bella flashed through his mind and he sighed. “Trust me, I know.”  
  
Nick seemed to take a minute to let it all sink in before sighing and nodding. “Yeah, I guess you would know.” He crossed his arms and looked down at Finnick. “So you think I should wait.”  
  
“I know you should. If you go after her now, you’re gonna lose her, kid. In every other instance, she’s gone after you. I think it’s probably best if you let it keep bein’ that way.” Finn shrugged, shoving his paws in his pockets. “But that’s just what I think.”  
  
“Well, you’re the one who spent six months with her, so you’re probably right.” Nick huffed softly, his lips pursed. “It’s gonna suck to wait.”  
  
“I know, fox.” Finn patted his back. “But it’s better this way, I promise you.”  
  
“Yeah.” Nick looked down at him, one corner of his mouth lifting. “Thanks. Don’t know what we’d do without you.”  
  
“Fuck up,” Finn offered with a grin.  
  
Nick snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He turned his head, his ears perking. “Speak of the devil.”  
  
Finn turned his head to look, too.  
  
Judy was running towards them, but both were surprised when she just passed them and kept going.  
  
A black pick up truck had just pulled into the long driveway of the Hopps burrow. It parked, and out of the driver’s seat stepped a brown male rabbit in overalls. He stopped and shoved his paws in his pockets, seeming to be waiting for someone. Judy stopped in front of him, bouncing on the balls of her feet. A moment passed, then Finn heard the sound of a door opening and an animal walking around the back of the truck to get to Judy.  
  
And holy shit, that was the tallest rabbit he’d ever seen in his entire life. Long legs attached to a long torso, dressed in jean shorts and a red, white, and blue plaid shirt. Brown fur and pale blue eyes, with a dewlap that only a few of the Hopps girls had.   
  
“Angelica!” he heard Judy cry out as she wrapped her arms around the tall doe, who quickly returned her embrace.  
  
So this was the Angelica that everyone had been waiting for. Finnick couldn’t help but be sort of in awe because holy shit why was she so damn _tall_?!

The two sisters let go of each other and Judy hugged the buck before taking her sister by the paw and leading her over to the two foxes. Judy’s eyes were shining and she had the biggest grin on her face when she reached them.   
  
Nick stepped forward and reached out a paw to the tall rabbit, smiling. “Hey, Ange. Good to see you again.”   
  
“You, too. Congratulations on graduating from the academy.” Her voice was smooth and soft, like honey, but also firm. She held herself with an air of pride and grace. She was nearly as tall as Nick, with the red fox only having a few inches on her. She shook Nick’s paw before letting go.   
  
Judy took her sister’s paw and looked at Finnick, smiling ear to ear. “Angie, this is Finnick, the one I told you about. Finnick, this is my sister.”   
  
The tall doe leaned over, offering a paw to him. “Angelica Hopps-McConey. It’s nice to finally have a face to put to the name.”   
  
Finn managed to reign in his shock as he took her paw, surprised by how strong her grip was. “Nice to meet you, too.”   
  
“Judy!” someone called.   
  
“I better see what they need,” Judy told them, hurrying towards the voice.   
  
“I’ll go see if they need help,” Nick said and went after the rabbit.   
  
_ Fuck _ . Finnick tried not to panic as, once again, he was left alone with an animal that he did not know. He swallowed back a groan of frustration. Why did this keep happening to him? He glanced over at the doe, trying his best not to stare. He’d just never seen a rabbit so big before…   
  
Angelica glanced down at him then away, crossing her arms. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”   
  
The insides of his ears turned bright red and Finn looked away, rightfully chastised. “Sorry. Just...you’re so big,” he blurted out, feeling his paws start to tremble from nerves.   
  
She chuckled, which made him look back up at her. Her pale blue eyes twinkled as she looked down at him. “That’s not something you would know about, huh?”

The comment took him aback, his eyes wide and blinking up at her. Did...did she just sass him about his height? In the first few minutes of knowing him? Holy damn, he’d never been so called out before!   
  
But she seemed to immediately regret it. Her ears fell down as she winced, looking away. Her body curled inward, as if trying to make herself smaller. “I’m sorry, that was unnecessary, I shouldn’t have--”   
  
“No, no, you’re fine,” Finn quickly reassured her, reaching out a paw though he paused before he could touch her. Being with Judy had him used to physical comfort, but he had no idea if Angelica liked that kind of thing. “I’m...actually kind of impressed. No one’s ever bitten back that fast.”   
  
“Not used to being out-sassed, huh?” One corner of her mouth twitched up.   
  
He shook his head with a chuckle, crossing his arms as well. “Not really, no.”   
  
“It becomes a talent when you have as many siblings as I do,” Angelica told him, looking out at her family. “Either you keep up or end up being picked on. I was in the first litter, so I had plenty of time to learn.”   
  
“My ma and pa only had me, and Nick’s not as quick on the uptake as I thought he’d be,” Finn commented back, also looking out at all the bunnies. “I never had a big family.”   
  
“It’s both a blessing and a curse. You know you’ll always have someone to rely on, but you get pretty much no privacy, especially in the burrow. There’s usually not enough room for everyone either.” Angelica shook her head with a wistful sigh. “Still, sometimes I miss it. If only for the company.”   
  
He looked up at her, curious. “You don’t get much company?”   
  
He could see the gears turning in her head, the hesitance in her eyes. It took her a moment before she spoke. “I...don’t get out of my house much anymore.”   
  
For some reason, he wanted to ask why, but he knew that it wasn’t any of his business. He didn’t even know her, he couldn’t go prying into her life. So he just nodded slowly, looking back out at the Hopps. “Guess that changed today.”   
  
“Yeah...I guess so.” She gave him a tiny smile that made his heart thump in his chest for some reason.

Before he had time to think about it, an albino kit ran up to them. Finnick recognized him as one of Elyza’s brood. “Aunt Angelica!”   
  
“Hey, Johnny!” The tall doe kneeled down to greet her nephew, a grin on her muzzle. “You’ve gotten so big!”   
  
The little buck puffed up with pride, his red eyes shining. “Thanks! Mama says I’ll be taller than her in no time!” He reached out to grab her wrist, tugging on it. “Will you come play with us? We need two more for baseball.”   
  
“Sure, that sounds like fun.” She stood up, still holding onto Johnny’s paw. She looked down at Finn, still grinning. “You wanna play?”   
  
He blinked, taken aback again. “Me?”

“Yeah. My sister says you’re pretty good with a bat.” Her other paw rested on her hip as she continued to smile at him. “And you wouldn’t want to disappoint the kits, would you?”   
  
“Please?” Johnny looked at him with big pleading eyes.   
  
Damn it all, how was he supposed to say no to a kit like this? He scowled at Angelica, who only grinned wider at him. Such a pain in the ass, just like her sister. He sighed and shook his head, throwing up his paws in defeat. “Alright, you’ve backed me into a corner. I’ll play.” He looked at her with a smirk. “Don’t get mad when I beat you, though.”   
  
She leaned down, getting in his face until they were almost nose to nose. “Is that right now, little fox?”   
  
He returned the look she gave him, growling low in his chest. “You’re on, Amazon.”

* * *

“Eyyyy, batta batta!” Angelica called out as she got ready to throw the ball for her nieces and nephews.   
  
They had been at this for maybe an hour now, and though the kits weren’t great at the game they were having a good time. Finn wasn't really sure why they asked him to come along, since all he had done thus far was stand to the side and call out advice every now and then. There seemed to be enough rabbits to play, so it wasn’t like they needed him. Maybe they meant for him to be a referee and forgot?   
  
In any case, he  _ was _ having a good time. His posture had straightened up and his shoulders relaxed. It was nice to have something to do, even if it was just playing games with the kits.   
  
“Out!” Johnny called from his place at the catchers mound. “Good try, Jasper!”   
  
“Aw, crackers!” the batter yelled before handing back the bat with a giggle. “You’re real good at this, Aunt Angelica!”   
  
“I should be, I played softball for a long time,” the tall doe grinned at her nephew as he scampered off. She rolled her shoulder, rubbing it before tossing the ball back and forth between her paws. “Alright, time to switch teams! Who’s gonna pitch?”   
  
“What about you, Mr. Finnick?” Johnny asked, looking over at Finn.   
  
Suddenly at least fifty little eyes were on him. How did Flopsy handle this all the time? Finn shrugged, heading for the pitcher’s mound. “Sure, why not?”   
  
Angelica handed him the ball with a grin. “Good luck.”   
  
“Don’t need it, doll,” he smirked at her, pretending that he wasn’t staring as she sauntered off. Those legs seemed like they went on forever…

Pitching for the kits was much more fun than standing on the sidelines, that was for sure. It was usually pretty easy to tell which kits were going to be able to hit the ball and which ones had no hope of ever hitting it. But they were all having fun, little bunnies from both teams cheering each other on. With a family this big, he had expected there to be more rivalries and grudges, but they were quickly proving him wrong.    
  
And he wasn’t at all disappointed about that.

“Alright, who’s next?” he called out to them, tossing the ball up in the air to catch.   
  
From the first base, Johnny called out, “Aunt Angelica, why don’t you come hit?”   
  
The tall doe shook her head from the sidelines. “No, I probably shouldn’t.”   
  
“Aww, c’mon!” another kit called out.   
  
“Please!”   
  
“You can do it!”

“We believe in you!”

Finn looked over at her with a smirk. “What’s the matter? Afraid to lose?”

She raised a brow at him. “You really wanna play this game, little fox?”

“You chicken?” He tilted his head at her, grinning from ear to ear. “The big Amazon too chicken to hit a ball by a little fox?” He folded his arms to imitate wings, bobbing his head at her. “Chickeeeeen!” He made chicken noises to further irritate her. That’s what she got for calling him small.   
  
The teasing got the reverse reaction he’d expected, though. Instead of getting flustered, she just smirked back at him. “Alright. Let’s do this.” She unbuttoned the bottom of her shirt and tied the ends together, her white belly showing. She rolled the sleeves of her shirt higher before making her way to the batting mound, taking the bat from the catcher. Her legs spread to shoulder width, knees bent, bat held expertly over her shoulder with both paws. She grinned at him, her eyes shining. “Your move.”

_ Shit _ . He hadn’t been expecting that. A lump suddenly formed in his throat that he had to swallow down, along with a tightness in his stomach that he was quick to stamp out. No. She was Flopsy’s sister, she was way too tall, and she was a rabbit. Plus, he didn’t even know her! There was no way he was attracted to her.   
  
...well, maybe a little. Just the tiniest bit. She was damn fine, but that was it! Any level headed animal would agree with him on that.   
  
“Just throw the damn ball!” Her yell got him out of his funk, which he was quick to shrug off.   
  
“Alright, I gotcha.”  _ This should be easy, she’s too tall, no way she’ll be able to hit a low ball. _ Finnick swung his arm back, did a couple of rotations, then threw hard and low.

_ CRACK! _

“No fuckin’ way.” All Finn could do was stare.

Not only did she hit the ball, she hit it so hard that it flew well past the field they were playing in, into a patch of corn where it would undoubtedly stay for who knew how long. 

All of the kits cheered as the tall doe jogged leisurely around the bases as the other kits on the bases sprinted for home. When Angelica set foot on the home base she was immediately crowded by the bunnies, all of them cheering or congratulating her in some way or another. She laughed, picking some up and hugging them while just patting others on the head or shoulder. Her eyes were bright and her smile warm. She looked so happy, the happiest he had seen her since she had arrived.   
  
As the kits started to disperse, Finnick made his way over to her, his paws shoved in his pockets. He looked up at her with an easy grin. “You did good out there.”   
  
She smiled back at him, one paw on her hip. “You weren’t so bad yourself. You play in school or something?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. “Just good with a bat.” He tilted his head at her. “You said you played softball for a while?”   
  
She nodded, humming. “Through high school and college.”   
  
“It shows.” He reached up, offering her a paw. “Good game.”

She regarded him for a moment before slowly kneeling down to his height, taking his paw. Her expression was relaxed, her eyes soft. She took his paw, giving it a firm but gentle shake. “Good game.”

For a second they just looked at each other, and Finn was once again by just how pretty she was. She looked nothing like her sister, yet the energy she exuded was the same. Warm. Friendly. Accepting.

“Angelica!”   


A call broke them out of their reverie and they quickly let go of each other. He shoved his paws in his pockets again, feeling the insides of his ears turning bright pink.   
  
Judy jogged over to them, a huge smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around her sister. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes I did, little bug.” Angelica ran her paws over her sister’s ears, smiling at her.    
  
“Good, I’m glad.” Judy’s smile was so big that for a moment Finn was worried that her teeth were going to fall out.

A throat cleared, and they all looked over to see Elyza just standing there awkwardly. The cream colored doe had her arm around Johnny, her front teeth worrying her bottom lip. She looked between her sisters. “Who won?”

“We did,” Johnny told his mother before looking at them. “Aunt Angelica hit the ball out of the field! It was so cool!”   
  
“Did she, now?” Elyza looked down at the albino buck before looking back up at her sisters. “She always won when she played in high school, so no big surprise there.” She gave her son a squeeze before letting him go. “How about you go back to the burrow with your sisters?”   
  
“Okay, mama.” Johnny grinned at her before jogging away.   
  
Finnick could feel the tension in the air as Elyza made her way over to Angelica and Judy. He glanced over at the pile of bats, wondering if he was going to have to break something up.

Thankfully, the answer to that seemed to be no. Elyza just smiled sadly at Angelica, her arms crossed under her chest. “Hi. It’s been awhile.”

“Yeah, it has.” Angelica let go of Judy to also cross her arms, her shoulders curling in slightly as her form leaned away from her sister. “The kits look great. They’ve gotten so big.”

“Johnny’s nearly to my shoulders now. I think he’ll outgrow me by the end of the summer, and he’s only nine.” Elyza chuckled nervously, uncrossing her arms to wring her paws together. “You know...we’ve all missed you.”

It was quiet for a moment before Angelica spoke, her ears raising hesitantly. “Y...yeah?”

Elyza nodded, her eyes wet. “Mm hm. I don’t think you’ve even met the last litter.”   


“I’ve seen pictures.” The tall doe stepped towards her sister, cautiously reaching out. “Would it be okay if I met them?”

“Yes.” Elyza took Angelica’s paws in hers, giving them a squeeze. “I want them to know their family.”   
  
“I definitely want to know them.” The two does smiled at each other, warm and loving.

Judy reached out to Finn, and he took her paw. He didn’t even have to look at her to know that she was fighting down tears. He could only imagine how happy she was in this moment, to see her sisters finally getting along. It was like a damned miracle.

Suddenly it sounded like a horn was being blown, which made the sisters look up and Finnick’s brows furrow in confusion. “What’s that?” he asked Judy.

“My parents put in a sound system a long time ago so that when they play that, everyone on the property can hear it,” Judy told him, starting to lead him in the direction of the burrow. “It just means it’s time for dinner.”

“Oh, okay.” He was impressed, the Hopps really did seem to have thought of everything. 

They all made their way back to the burrow, where everything seemed to be set out and ready. Picnic tables had been pushed together to form a long table, with piles of food on platters ready to be eaten set out. Veggies and bread and even some protein for the predators present. By the time they reached it, many of the family members were hugging and saying their goodbyes. It made sense, since though the table was long, it didn’t seem like there was enough for the hundreds who had shown up.   
  
Gideon Grey came over to them, giving all of the does a hug. “I gotta get goin’.”   
  
“You’re not staying?” Elyza asked him, and Finn couldn’t help looking over at them curiously.

The chubby fox shook his head with a half smile. “I gotta be up early in the mornin’ to open up the bakery. Maybe I’ll see ya in sometime?”

“I’ll bring the kits in for breakfast after school lets out.” Elyza hugged him one last time and the fox trotted off, waving at them all as he went.

“Carrots! Finn!” Nick waved from where he was seated at the table, grinning. “I saved us some seats!”

“The party’s for you, you didn’t have to do that,” Judy called back as she made her way over to him. Finn followed, trotting along at her heels.

“I wanted us to have the best seats, though,” Nick explained as they sat down with him. “Right in the middle of all the action.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Judy giggled as she patted the red fox’s paw, which made him grin at her.

Finn couldn’t help rolling his eyes at them. They really were so oblivious. Oh well, that was fine, they still needed to get to know each other. He was glad that they weren’t in a rush to get together. They’d both grown a lot in a short amount of time, and he was proud of them.

The rest of the Hopps family who had decided to stay, which consisted of about fifty, all sat down. After the bunnies said a prayer to Frith, they all served themselves. Conversation flowed, and while Finn didn’t participate much, he enjoyed just listening. He learned that Angelica was a preschool teacher, and that she played piano for the high school in Bunnyburrow. The last one had surprised him. Softball and piano? He quickly shrugged it off, though. She had different talents and capabilities, nothing wrong with that.

An hour went by before he realized, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Most of the kits had excused themselves to go play, which left the adults to talk and some were even passing around carrot vodka. Finn politely turned that down. No offense to the rabbits, but that sounded fucking gross.

The sound of a vehicle driving up the long driveway gave everyone pause. Stu looked up, his eyebrows furrowing. “Who on earth could that be?”

A blue car pulled up and parked, and out stepped a brown rabbit dressed in a black button up and black pants, his red tie standing out against the dark colors. He scanned the area before his gaze landed on them, and he started to make his way over to them.

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Hearing Stu Hopps curse was an experience, and the buck immediately turned on Elyza, glowering at her. “I thought we specifically told you that Alec was not invited!”

Everyone turned to the cream colored doe, who had sunk down in her seat and looked like she was going to cry. “I-I told him that we were going to be awhile, and to not wait up for us. I guess he just got worried and--”

“So you go over there and you tell him--!”

“Daddy, please--”

Bonnie slapped her husband upside the head, glaring at him which made him cower, rightfully so. “Stu, we need to handle this gently. We don’t want to cause a scene in front of our guests, now, do we?” She looked over at Nick and Finnick before looking back at him. 

“Yes’um.” Stu stared down at his plate, his paw holding a spoon tight.

Finnick looked back at the rabbit walking towards them. So this must be Elyza’s husband that everyone seemed to hate so much. Part of him really wanted to know why, while the other part of him yelled at him to just stay the hell out of it. It was very clearly messy family business and he had no right to go poking his nose into it. Still...his head tilted as the buck got closer. How bad could he be?

Alec reached the table and went around to go stand by his wife. The seats around her, which had been previously occupied by her children, were empty, and he made himself comfortable beside her. “Hello, darling.” He pressed a quick kiss to her head before looking at Bonnie and Stu with a smile that was clearly fake. “Hope you all don’t mind that I crashed the party. I hadn’t seen my wife all day and I was starting to get worried.”

“No, not at all,” Bonnie said with a stiff smile. “Please, help yourself. There’s still plenty of food.”

“Still only know how to cook for a small army, huh, Bon?” Alec chuckled to himself, getting some food before looking up very pointedly. “Hello, Angelica.”

Finn’s eyes went to the doe and what he saw made his blood turn cold. 

She looked  _ terrified _ . Angelica was sitting so low in her seat that it couldn’t have been comfortable, her paws visibly trembling in front of her. Her pale blue’s darted back and forth, her teeth biting into her lip so hard he was surprised she wasn’t bleeding. She swallowed before finally looking at the buck out of the corners of her eyes, like a cornered animal. “...hello, Alec.”

“It’s been awhile,” the buck commented, taking a bite of some veggies. “About, what, three years?”

Angelica nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

“How’s the teaching thing going?” Alec asked, shoveling more food into his mouth. Finnick couldn’t tell if the buck was just bad at reading animals or if he just didn’t care.

“Good.” Angelica’s paws were twisted in a napkin, tearing off small pieces.

“Good, good.” Alec swallowed down the bite before leaning his chin on his paw. “How long has it been since Billy passed now?”

A dark silence went over the table. Stu looked like he was about to burst with anger, the insides of his ears almost purple. Finnick saw Nick and Judy exchanging frantic glances, and he was very aware that he was the only one who didn’t understand the importance behind that question. Who was Billy? Why did it matter that he was dead?

Angelica swallowed, blinking rapidly and breath picking up. “About...three years, this summer.”

“When are you going to start looking again? After all, you aren’t getting any younger,” Alec commented.

“Alec,” Elyza tried to start, only to stop when given a sharp look by her husband.

“I’m not asking anything bad, Lyza,” Alec told her, gripping her paw tight enough to make her wince. “And I’m not wrong. You’re not getting any younger, Ange.” His brown eyes were smug as he looked at the tall doe. “If you want a family, you’d better start looking. It’s not too early, you know that. Besides, it’s not like the last one was able to fulfill your needs.”

Finn choked on the sip he’d been taking from his drink, looking up at the buck. “Excuse you?” Who the fuck did this shithead think he was, saying something like that? That wasn’t any of his fucking business!

Angelica breathed in sharply, which made him look over at her. Her whole frame was trembling now, though he couldn’t tell what from. Her paws were fisted in the napkin now, shaking violently. She was silent for a few moments before abruptly standing up, dropping her napkin onto the table. “You know what, I should go.” She looked like she was about to cry.

Judy scrambled to her feet, along with Bonnie and Stu. “No, Angie, please--”

“No, it’s fine, it’s getting late anyways,” Angelica told them, pushing in her chair and grabbing her phone from off the table.

Another rabbit, the one she had arrived with, stood up from where he sat on the other end of the table. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, Jared, it’s fine, you stay here.” Angelica started to turn away.   
  
“Angelica, wait, please!” Judy ran over to her and grabbed her wrist, her violet eyes pleading.   
  
The tall doe yanked her paw away, stepping back. “Judy, I’m fine. I’ll just walk home, okay? I live down the road. It’s fine.” But the way she said it meant the opposite. Angelica looked pointedly at Elyza, her mouth set in a firm line. “Have a good life, Lizzie.” Then she ran off down the driveway.

When she was out of sight, things went to shit. Stu stood up pointing at Alec and screaming, “Every time you show up, you do nothing but cause trouble--!”

“Stu,” Bonnie tried to calm him down but the buck wasn’t having it. 

“I want you OFF of my property and OUT of our lives!”

“Now, Stu, be reasonable,” Alec tried to reason, standing up.

“REASONABLE?!” Stu tried to lunge himself at the buck but was held back by Bonnie and Judy. “You want to talk about REASONABLE?!”

“Daddy, please!” Elyza started to sob, standing up and pleading. “I love him!”

“I want him GONE, NOW!!”   
  
“Nick!” Judy yelled. “A little help, please!”

Nick sprinted over to them, grabbing Stu and starting to pull him towards the burrow. “Mr. Hopps, let’s talk about this inside--”

“GET THAT FUCKER OFF MY PROPERTY!” Stu spat at Alec. He managed to wrench himself at Nick and went flying at the buck, only to be tackled by his wife and the red fox. “Let me GO, let me AT HIM!”

Several other members of the Hopps family started to surround the patriarch and the Haddish’s, yelling and shaking their fists, all voicing their opinion as it started to get louder and louder.

Finn could only stare on with wide eyes. Holy shit, who knew that bunnies could be this wild?

Judy made her way over to him, about to cry and barely holding it together. “I knew something like this was going to happen, I just knew it!”

“Flopsy,” he reached out to try to comfort her but she just shook her head.

“Where did you park the van?” she asked him suddenly, taking him a bit by surprise.

“Um, in the field by the driveway.” He blinked at her in confusion. “Why?”

“Can I ask you to do me a huge favor?” She took his paws in hers, pleading with her eyes. He hadn’t seen her like this since she had come to him asking where Nick was months ago. “Will you go after Angelica? Make sure she gets home safe? I don’t want her to be alone right now, not after all of this.”

He nodded immediately, not even needing to think about it. “Of course. I’ll make sure she’s safe.” He leaned up to peck her on the cheek and patted her back. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

Judy nodded before hurrying back over to her family, already raising her voice to try to get things under control.

_ Dear Inari. _ Maybe it was better that he hadn’t grown up in a big family. Finn shook the thought out of his head and started jogging away from the table, towards where he had parked his van. Judy had told him to park it there, so that he wouldn’t be blocked in by her family’s vehicles. He sniffed the air, trying to pick up Angelica’s scent. Smelled like she’d headed north. He quickly got in the van and turned it on, then sped off down the road where he thought her scent had been heading.

Sure enough, he came upon her walking, her arms crossed and her head down. He pulled up beside her and honked, feeling a little bad when she jumped. She looked up and it was easy enough to see she had been crying. Poor thing. Finn parked and rolled down his window. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She sniffled and wiped at her face, not meeting his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Judy sent me to make sure you’re okay,” he told her honestly.

Angelica groaned, covering her eyes with a paw. “Things are that bad, huh?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her, leaning his arm on the door.

She let out a sharp laugh, finally meeting his eyes with a grim smile. “That’s a lot easier said than done.”

“I know.”

The doe sighed, looking away and crossing her arms. “Well, you can tell her that I’m fine, okay? She doesn’t need to worry about me. Everything is fine, it’s just  _ great. _ ” She glowered at the road, her shoulders hunched. “I knew I shouldn’t have gone, I knew something like this was going to happen. I should have just stayed home.” She shook her head, closing her eyes tight. “I knew better. This is my fault.”

It was like looking in a fucking mirror. She was where he had been so many months ago, before Judy had gotten to him. For someone as tall as she was, she felt so small and insignificant and, fuck, it was heartbreaking to see. Now he understood why Judy had been so determined to help him.

Angelica was low, and something inside screamed at him to help her.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead before clearing his throat at her. “Hey.” He waited for her to look at him before jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “Get in.”

She blinked up at him, startled. “Excuse me?”

“Get in the van. I’m taking you home.”

“I told you, I’m fine--”

“You think I’m dumb enough to believe that?” He fixed her with a hard look. “Get in the van.”

“I’m fine,” she tried to argue.

“Get in the van.”

“Finnick, I am  _ FINE _ \--”

“Angelica, for fuck’s sake, just get in the fucking van,” he snapped at the rabbit, narrowing his eyes at her. 

The two stared at each other, both stubborn and refusing to back down. Finally, Angelica let out an irritated sigh, looking away from him. “Why do you care? You don’t even know me.”

“Because Judy asked me to.” He waited until those pale blues looked at him before continuing. “And because I know where you are right now, and you don’t need to be alone.” His expression softened. “Now will you please just get in the van?”

She stared at him, tense and distrusting, and Finn found himself holding his breath until she finally sighed and nodded. “Okay.” She walked around the front and got into his passengers seat.

He waited until she was buckled in to start it up again. “Where to?”

“Down the road. When you get to the split, go left and then keep going for a while,” she told him, staring pointedly out her window.

He raised a brow, glancing at her then to the road as he started driving. “I thought you just lived down the road?”

“I do. It’s just a long ways down the road.” He could hear the smile in her answer and it helped him relax a bit.

“Hey...I hate to ask, but I gotta know.” He glanced at her, catching her eye. “Who’s Billy?”

Tears filled her eyes and she quickly looked away, her arms wrapping around herself tight. “My husband. He died three years ago.”

Finn’s heart sank.  _ Fuck. _ “I’m so sorry.” He looked back at the road, his paws clenched tight on his wheel. Alec really was a piece of shit, saying what he had to Angelica. Now he wished he had held onto his bat, just so he could knock that fucker out the second he’d opened his mouth.   
  
She sniffled and nodded, leaning her head on the window. “Yeah...me, too.”

He had a feeling that the rest of the drive was going to be quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted a commission i got for Angelica on my Twitter, @mamasallywhite. come by and say hi! i hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in these times, and i will see you at the next update.


	8. Lay Me Down in Sheets of Linen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gets Angelica home and she invites him in for coffee. He accepts, and they end up having a heart to heart that he did not expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys. i know a lot is going on in the world right now and i hope that all of you are okay. please remember that it is okay to take care of yourself, mentally/physically/etc, during this time. that's why i decided to go ahead and post this chapter, to hopefully cheer some of you up. this chapter is only about half as long as the last one, but i hope it's still enjoyable.

He was right. It was quiet. Almost too quiet.

It was the longest forty-five minutes of his life. Normally on a stretch of road like this, with only gravel and no cops around, he would have floored it and probably scared the shit out of anyone driving with him. But Finnick sensed that doing so wouldn’t be good for Angelica right now, thus he stuck with only going about 40 miles an hour. 

The doe was quiet, just staring out the window with her chin in her paw. He racked his brain for something, anything, to say to her. But what could he say? He didn’t really know her. It really wasn’t even any of his business.

So why was he even here? Why was he doing this?

_Because Flopsy asked you to. Because you know where she’s at right now._

_...because it’s the right thing to do._

He tapped his claws against the steering wheel, shoving down the anxiety welling up in his chest. Not now, he had to stay strong. Had to keep a hold on himself. Those big bunny ears weren’t just for show, she would be able to hear if his heart just suddenly sped up.

“The next turn up here.”

His red eyes blinked and he quickly glanced at her. “Huh?”

Angelica sat up, pointing out the windshield. “The next turn, to the left. That’s my driveway.”

Finn nodded. “Ah. Gotcha.” He turned onto the driveway, which was at least half a mile long. Farm folks really loved their long driveways, huh?

As he drove up, he couldn’t help but notice a few things. First was the barn, to the right. Pretty old fashioned, made of metal with a big wooden door which was ostentatiously painted red. Just a little ways past that looked like a chicken coop, with a tall fence all around it. 

Then, to the left, was her house. A simple one-story ranch style, with a long porch on the front. The back had a ramp going up to a door. The house was painted a light green, seeming to have faded with age. The porch looked fairly new, no more than five years or so old. And in front of it was a huge tree, he couldn’t really tell what kind.

And then, a few yards past the house, were lavender plants. There must have been hundreds, maybe thousands! He bet if he rolled down his window, he would be able to smell them all. A pang went through his heart, unable to help himself.  
  
Bella had always smelled like lavender…

Then, right in the middle of the lavender fields, was a patch of tall sunflowers. They must have been nearly as tall as Angelica. They looked _so_ out of place, the yellow clashing with the lavender of the plants around it. Yet, at the same time, it was almost...peaceful.

Finn pulled his van up close to the house, turning off the engine. He took a moment to collect himself before looking at his passenger. “Welp. Here we are.”

“Yeah…” Angelica fidgeted with her paws, seeming to be at a loss for words.

He tilted his head at her, his brow furrowing with concern. “You gonna be okay?”

She nodded, nibbling on her lip before finally looking up at him. Those big pale blues stared at him for a few moments before she blurted out, “Do you wanna come in??”

He blinked at her, caught a little off guard. “Um--”

“N-not like that!” The insides of her ears turned pink, and he felt bad because he hadn’t even been thinking about that. “I-it’s just, well, I would feel bad if you just drove all this way and then immediately headed back.” She gestured outside with one trembling paw. “And it’s getting late, and I could put on some coffee, or I have lemonade that I made the other day, and just...yeah.” She clasped her paws together, looking away from him.

Finn glanced out the window. The sun was setting, the sky of purples and pinks and dark blues. He really hadn’t been paying attention to the passing of time, having gotten so caught up in everything going on. The day had gone by so quickly...huh.

He nodded, looking at her just in time to catch her eye. “Yeah. Coffee sounds nice.”

It seemed to take her a minute to process what he had said, but then she smiled and quickly nodded. “Of course.” She unbuckled and opened the door. “I only have decaf, I hope that’s okay.”

“I probably shouldn’t have any caffeine this late,” Finn assured her, also unbuckling and getting out of the van. He waited for her to come around and then followed her up her porch steps. 

She pulled house keys out of her shorts pocket and unlocked the door, opening it and stepping inside. “Please, come in.” She waited until he was inside to close the door, hurrying around him and heading for her kitchen. “Don’t mind the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.”

“Yeah, you said you don’t get much,” Finn mused as he stepped further inside, taking a moment to take in her house.  
  
Mess, what mess? Everything seemed to be perfectly clean to him. To the right of the door was what looked like a laundry room, with a washer and dryer. Then, to the left, was a kitchen and dining room combo. They were separated by a half wall, which doubled as a counter top. The kitchen had older looking appliances, giving it a rustic feel. 

Finn went over to the dining room, pulling out a chair and taking a seat at the table. He took out his phone to see if he had gotten any messages from Judy or Nick. So far nothing. He hoped that was a good sign, that they were getting everything sorted out with her family.

He was broken out of his thoughts when Angelica asked, “Did you want anything to eat? I have some homemade bread from a couple of days ago, or I have some brownies.”

He was quick to shake his head. “Nooooo. Your mom made so much, I’m still stuffed.”  
  
“Yeah, me too,” she giggled softly. “Mom really does only know how to cook for a small army. Alec had that right, at least…” Her voice trailed off, and he looked over to see her crossing her arms in front of her.

Finn rested his arms on the table, leaning his cheek on his paw. “What was his deal, anyways? What’s he got against you?”

Angelica hesitated, glancing over at him with apprehension. “It’s kind of a long story.” She looked away again. “And, no offense, but I don’t really know you that well.”

“Fair enough,” he shrugged, looking back down at his phone. 

“Thanks.” She sounded surprised. Was she used to being forced to talk? Poor thing.

A few more minutes of silence passed before she came over with two mugs of coffee. She set them on the table then went to get sugar and creamer. “I don’t know how you like your coffee and I hate assuming.” She set down two spoons before taking a seat. She poured a liberal amount of creamer into her mug then added two spoonfuls of sugar, giving it a stir.

Finn added one spoonful of sugar to his and stirred it in before taking a swig. He grimaced a bit at the taste, but shrugged it off. Decaf always had a funny aftertaste to him, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Besides, she was a bunny, and he knew from hanging out with Judy that rabbit hearts generally couldn’t handle caffeine. It sped them up too much and could cause cardiac arrest if given even just a little too much, so most bunnies avoided it altogether.

They drank their coffee in silence. It was starting to become awkward, which made him panic. _C’mon, think of something to say!_ He glanced around the room again, noticing the living room was beyond the dining room doorway. He could make out a recliner, and on the wall behind it--wait. Was that…?

“Is that a poster of Tim T-Bone?” Finnick asked the rabbit, unable to keep the chuckle out of his voice.

“Hm?” Angelica looked over her shoulder at the poster before looking back at him, grinning sheepishly. “Yeah. He’s my favorite baseball player.”

“Didn’t he retire like four years ago?” Finn asked, unable to stop grinning.

The tall doe shrugged, taking another sip of her coffee. “He’s still my favorite. There hasn’t been another player like him since.” She grinned at him, her eyes shining. “He hit fourteen home runs in one season, he’s a legend!”

“Was your husband jealous?” Finn teased, not thinking about it.

Thankfully, it didn’t seem to upset her. She just shook her head, chuckling. “No. Billy knew he had no reason to be jealous. I’m not attracted to wolves. They’re a little too big for me.” She rolled her eyes, taking another sip. “I know, weird for a rabbit my size to be saying.”

“You’re really not that big,” Finn told her, taking a drink. “I see mammals way bigger than you all the time in the city.”

“It’s different out here.” She set her mug down, tracing one finger around the rim. “I’m one of the tallest animals in Bunnyburrow. There’s really only the sheriff and a donkey family who are taller than me. I scale even the damn sheep that live here.” She groaned and shook her head. “We have no idea why I’m so tall. I used to hate it when I was younger. I got picked on a lot.”

His brow furrowed as he tilted his head, a frown on his lips. “For being tall?”

“Mm hm.” She nodded, looking up at him. “I was always told that no buck would want a wife who’s taller than them. One of my aunts would say it constantly when she visited. As if I had control of that.” She looked away, scowling. “What was I supposed to do? I did sports, but it didn’t close my growth plates. Not eating didn’t work, though I sure gave that shot for a few months. In the end, I just had to accept it and try to move on with my life. Though it seemed like my aunt was right, no one asked me out or even seemed interested in me.”

Then a warm smile came on her face, her eyes turning soft and adoring. “Then there was Billy.”

Finn finished up his mug of coffee then leaned towards her, curious. “What was he like?”

Angelica looked up at him, her eyes shining. “I can show you.” She got up and went into the living room.

Well, fuck, he hadn’t been expecting that. But okay, he guessed. He quickly hopped down from his chair, going over to join her.

The tall doe knelt down in front of a shelf, reaching out and taking hold of what appeared to be a large photo album. She walked over to her couch, sitting down and patting the spot beside her.

Finn went over, climbing up to sit beside her. He looked at the album curiously, his large ears pointed towards her.  
  
Angelica opened it up and he was greeted by the sight of a picture of her in a wedding dress, holding a large bouquet of mostly lavender and roses. Standing beside her was a brown buck with brown eyes, looking awkward but happy in a tux. Atop his head was a blue cap, his ears hanging loosely down his back. The top of his head only reached her shoulders, but it didn’t make them look odd.

“Billy was a lop eared rabbit,” Angelica told him, flipping the page to another picture of her in a one-piece bathing suit and the buck in swim trunks, his gut hanging out just a bit. “They stayed like that all the time. I found it to be part of his charm.” She flipped another page, both sides having pictures of them with their families. She pointed to one. “This is his family. They’re the next largest in the burrow, with one hundred and fifty kids.”

“Sweet Inari,” Finn muttered, shaking his head. “I really thought the multiplying thing was just a joke.”

“For the most part, it is,” she told him, flipping the page again to show pictures of Bill on various pieces of farming equipment. “Most families don’t have as many as his or my family does. In our world, the more children you have, the more money you have, because you need to feed so many little mouths.”

“So your family must own the town,” he joked as she flipped another page. These had more pictures of her and Bill with their families.

Angelica nodded, glancing over at him. “Pretty much, yeah. My father has a paw in almost every business in some way or another, whether it’s in crop trade or stocks. He’s on the city council, helps run the treasury. Hell, the only reason he isn’t mayor is because he didn’t want it to take away his time with us.” She looked back at the album, flipping another page.

The pictures were all starting to blur together now and he wasn’t retaining most of it, but he could tell looking through these brought her some kind of peace. He didn’t mind. There was one thing to take away from it, though. Bill had loved her, adored her even. The look in the buck’s eyes as he looked at her in all of the pictures...he’d never looked at Bella that way. The closest he could think of to animals like that were Marian and Cash. This was different, though. It was clear that Bill had worshipped his wife.

And now he was gone.

Finn glanced up at the doe, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Hey. You mind if I ask you something?”

“What is it?” She didn’t look at him, just kept flipping pages.

There really wasn’t any way to ask this delicately, and he’d never been a fan of beating around the bush. “What happened to him?” He gestured at the album. “Your husband. How did he die?”

It was quiet for a moment before she let out a long sigh. She closed the album with a soft thump and held it to her chest. She didn't look at him, only stared at the wall. “Officially, the coroner said it was an accident. He was working out in the fields one summer day and the tractor fell over on top of him. Squished him to death.” Her arms wrapped around the album tight. “They said he would have gone fast.”

 _Inari_. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, not sure what to do. Flopsy had really gotten him used to giving physical comfort, but he didn’t know if Angelica would welcome that. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. In the end, he settled on carefully setting a paw on her back. If she didn’t want him to, she could say and he would back off.

Instead, she seemed to lean into his touch, just a little. “Me, too. Bill was a simple buck, a farm boy through and through. If you weren’t talking about farming, he didn’t have much to contribute to a conversation. He was quiet, and he mostly kept to himself.” She looked over at him, her pale blues sad. “But he loved me. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.”

Finn just nodded, rubbing her back gently. That poor fuck, that sounded like an awful way to go. Yet something just didn’t settle right in his mind, something just didn’t make sense. “Did it, like, tip over?”

She shook her head. “No. It fell. On its side.”

“It fell.” What the fuck. He glanced up at her, brow furrowed. “You know...tractors don’t just fall over.”

“You said it, not me,” she said quickly, looking away with a frown.

“What does that mean?” 

“It means I can’t talk about it.”

What the fuck? “Why?”

She sighed, setting the album in her lap before rubbing at her face with her paws. “Because there’s no point. No one wants to hear it, and even if they did it wouldn’t go well for me.”

What the actual fuck? It wouldn’t go well for her? The gears were turning in his head, and when they stopped he couldn’t help the snarl that almost left his mouth. His paw on her back stayed still, stiff with rage. “Please don’t tell me they accused you of killing your own husband.”

The bunny winced, flinching away from him, immediately making him regret the malice in his tone. She spoke before he could apologize. “They never accused me. But anytime I tried to talk about it, tried to get them to see how weird it was for a tractor to just fall over, they made it very clear that the only one who cared about that was me. And if I kept insisting, I was going to be their only suspect.” Her paws were in fists on top of the album. “They wanted everything tied up in a neat little bow and they didn’t want me to get in the way of that. So I stopped trying.”

The anger he felt at her situation was unfathomable. How dare these fucking backwards mammals accuse this poor rabbit of killing her own husband. Couldn’t they see how much pain she was in? Didn’t they want her to get justice? It was so fucked up, and it took everything inside of him to not growl. It just wasn’t fair.

“Hey.”

He snapped out of his trance, looking up at her.

Her eyes were soft with melancholy as she gazed down at him. “There’s no use getting upset over it now. I’ve made my peace. It’s been almost three years, I’m not crying about it any more.” She looked up, nodding to the mantle on the far right wall. “That’s not what he would want.”

Finn followed her eyes with his, landing on a simple gray urn that sat on the shelf. It reminded him of how Marian kept Cash’s ashes, and he had to swallow down a lump in his throat. He didn’t know what else to say. 

As if reading his mind, Angelica changed the subject. “Have you heard from Judy?”

He shook his head, taking his paw off her back. “No, not yet.”

Right on cue, his phone started ringing from where he had left it on the table. Finnick quickly got off the couch and went back into the dining room, climbing onto the chair to grab his phone. He scrambled back down so that his feet touched the floor and answered the call, lifting his phone to his ear. “Flopsy?”

 _“Hey, Finn.”_ The bunny sounded exhausted. _“Did you find Angelica?”_

“Yeah, I’m at her house.” He made his way back into the living room. “Sorry for not calling.”

_“It’s fine, I wouldn’t have been able to answer anyways.”_

He winced. “That bad?”

Judy sighed on the other end of the line. _“You have no idea.”_ Then she sounded concerned as she asked, _“How is she? Is she okay?”_

Finn glanced over at Angelica, who was looking at him with her head cocked to the side. “Yeah, she’s okay.”  
  
 _“Good.”_ He could almost imagine her stroking her ear. _“Hey, could I talk to her?”_

“Um, yeah, hold on.” He went over to the doe, holding his phone out. “She wants to talk to you.”

Angelica took the phone from him before standing up, going over to the shelf where she had gotten the album. She held the phone to her ear. “Hello? Hey, little bug, how are you?” She knelt down to put the album away. “I’m good. So is Finnick.” She stood back up, nodding. “Uh huh. Uh huh.” Then her eyes went wide, her ears falling down her back. “Oh…” She held up a paw, waving with it. “No, no, that’s fine, not a big deal. You’re right, it is probably for the best.” She smiled and shook her head. “It’s fine, Judy, I promise. It doesn’t bother me.” The bunny waited and nodded, staying quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I’ll take care of it, don’t you worry. Mm hm.” A warm smile came on her face. “I love you, too, little bug. Uh huh. Alright now. Bye bye.” She walked back over and leaned down to hand the phone back to him.

He couldn’t help raise a brow at her. What was all that about? He lifted the phone back to his ear. “Flopsy?”

_“So, I just asked Angelica, and she said it would be fine if you stayed with her tonight.”_

His heart dropped into his stomach. “Judy--”

 _“Look, it’s really late, and it would be silly to have you drive back here now. Besides,”_ she lowered her voice, _“it’s probably best that you stay there for now. My family is still arguing about what happened, and even if he won’t say so I know that Nick is pretty overwhelmed. I don’t want you to get overwhelmed, too.”_

He groaned, rubbing his temple with his free paw. “Flopsy, you can’t keep doing this to me.”

 _“It’ll be okay, Angelica is really nice. Trust me, you do not want to be here right now.”_ She sighed softly on the other end. _“I promise I’ll make it up to you.”_

“So, do you want me to come back tomorrow?” he asked, already resigned to his fate.

 _“It’ll depend on if everyone is still yelling or not. I’ll shoot you a text if things get better. I promise, you’re better off there than here.”_ She huffed quietly. _“I wish I was there, it’s a lot quieter.”_

He just shook his head, letting out a long breath. “Alright. If it makes you feel better.”

_“It does. I’m so sorry you got caught up in all of this.”_

“Eh, I’ve seen worse,” he shrugged.

 _“I better go, I can hear my mom calling for me. Thank you for everything, Finn. I hope you have a better night than I’m having.”_ Then she hung up.

Finn pocketed his phone, then looked up at Angelica, shoving his paws into his pockets. “Guess I’m here for a while.”

The tall doe shook her head. “The last fight my family had took a few days to resolve.” She started down the hall to the right. “I’ll go get a bed ready for you.”

“I can just sleep in my van--”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I have a perfectly good guest room,” she told him quickly, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Give me about ten minutes and I’ll have the bed ready.”

He watched her go, already drained of any energy or motivation to go after her. Oh, well. He shrugged, going to the door and heading back outside to his van. With a jump and a flick of the wrist, the back was opened. He jumped in to grab the bag he packed and closed the back doors, crawling up front and getting out that way. He shut the drivers side door and headed back to the house. Once he was inside, he headed down the hall after her. The light was on in the room to the right, so he headed in.  
  
Angelica seemed like she was almost done putting the sheets on. He wanted to offer to help, but the look on her face indicated that she wouldn’t welcome it. So he got out a pair of pajama shorts and a few toiletries. He looked over at her. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Last door at the end of the hall. I use the master bath in my room, so it’s all yours,” she told him.

“Treatin’ me like royalty,” he teased before heading out and to the bathroom.

It only took a few minutes for him to get ready and he exited the bathroom afterwards, in his pjs. He kept his shirt on, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. She was putting one last flannel blanket on the bed as he walked in. She looked over at him, her ears pointed towards him. “I didn’t know if you wanted a blanket. I like to keep my house cool at night, so it can get kind of chilly.”

“This is fine, thank you,” he assured her, going over to his bag to put his toiletries away.  
  
“Alright.” She folded her paws in front of her. “Did you need anything else?”

He shook his head, going over to the bed and climbing on. The mattress folded naturally under him, much softer than the one in his van or the couch in Nick and Judy’s apartment. He smiled at her. “Thanks.”

She nodded, going to the doorway. “I’m right across the hall if you need me, just shout or come knock.” She hesitated there, looking back at him like she wanted to say something. But in the end she just shook her head and closed the door behind her. He could hear another door close and assumed that she was in her room.

Finnick sighed and shook his head, getting back down to grab his phone charger out of his bag and his phone out of his pants pocket. Then he went back over to the bed, climbing on and plugging the charger into the outlet on the lamp that was on the bedside table. He put his phone on the charger and took his shirt off, throwing it to the end of the bed before turning the lamp off. He slid under the covers, all his muscles relaxing instantly as he sunk into the mattress once more.

It didn’t take long for the emotional exhaustion of the day to catch up to him, and he was out like a light before he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my twitter is @mamasallywhite. if you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out. we're in this together. keep fighting the good fight. i will see you all in the next update. #BlackLivesMatter
> 
> the picture in this chapter was done by the amazingly talented @RaspberriesWH on Twitter! please check her out!


	9. To the Simple Life Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn experiences what farm life is like for a day and finds that he is enjoying time with Angelica much more than he thought he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, everyone, how are you all doing? so, uh, sorry this took so long, but i needed a mental break for awhile. some things happened in the fandom that upset me, but now things are better and i hope we can all look forward to being here again! i just want to thank all of you again for your support, it's means so much to me that people enjoy this little passion project of mine. also this chapter is very VERY long, whoops lol. special shout out to Midlou, Liar, and Exewon from the ZAA Discord server for beta-ing this chapter for me. so without further adieu, onto the chapter.
> 
> also quick trigger warning: there is brief mention of rape in this chapter. it's very short, but if that kind of thing triggers you, please be aware and proceed with caution. it's more towards the end.

Finnick wasn't sure what roused him from his slumber that morning, but he woke up feeling fresh and renewed. He just lay there for a few moments, staring up at the ceiling with a feeling hot in his chest. He was...almost in awe at how good that sleep had been. Deep and restful, no dreams. He'd gotten used to waking up startled from nightmares that they barely even phased him anymore. But this…

_ Holy shit. _

He sat up, yawning and stretching before wiping away the sleep from the corners of his eyes. The urge to leave the bed was weak, it was just so damn comfortable. With a sigh, Finn crawled to the end of the bed to retrieve his shirt before going back. He fluffed up the pillow against the headrest before leaning back into it. He reached over to unplug his phone from his charger, unlocking it to see if he had any important notifications.

There was only one. A text from Judy.

_ Flopsy: My family is still fighting this morning. :( It's probably best if you stay with Angelica for now. I'll text or call you when this all blows over. I'm so sorry you got dragged into all of this mess. _

Poor Flopsy. Finn shook his head then sent her a text back.

_ Finn: don't worry about it, focus on your family. call me if you need anything, okay? _

Finn sighed and stretched, then slipped out of the bed. He slipped the shirt on then went over to his bag to grab his shorts from the day before. He hadn’t anticipated them staying this long, so he hadn’t brought enough clothes. Oh well. He shrugged and shucked his sleep shorts off and put the khakis back on. Vaguely, he wondered if Angelica would mind letting him do laundry, but he quickly shoved that aside. It would be too awkward to ask that…   
  
It was then that a pleasant smell hit his nose, and he stopped to sniff at the air. Was that...pancakes?? With more speed than he had known he was capable of, he almost sprinted for the door. He jumped up to grab the handle, managing to grasp it and turn it before landing on the floor. The door opened and he poked his head out, sniffing again.    
  
Oh yeah. He DEFINITELY smelled pancakes.

He stomped down the urge to run to the kitchen, instead turning and going to the bathroom. He peed and washed his paws and face before heading calmly to the kitchen, ignoring the excited pounding of his heart in his chest.

Sure enough, the tall doe was at the stove, flipping a pancake like a pro. She turned her head when he walked in, surely having heard him with those large ears of hers. A smile lit up her face, and she grinned wide at him. “Good morning!”

“Mornin’,” Finn greeted her, heading over to grab a chair. He pushed it across the floor to the coffee maker, climbing onto it to reach it. The black liquid smelled delightful, even if it was decaf. He pushed that thought from his mind and turned to her. “Mind handin’ me a mug?”    
  
“Not at all.” Angelica opened a cupboard to the right of the stove, grabbing a mug and sliding it over to him. “Do you want me to grab any creamer or sugar for you?”

“Not for the first cup.” Finn poured himself enough to fill half of the mug then took a swig. Even if there was no caffeine in it, the warmth reached his stomach and helped clear the last of the sleep from his mind. He hummed low in his chest and took another, longer sip. This was nice. It had been a long time since someone had made coffee for him. Probably since he’d lived with Marian and Nick.   
  
Bella hadn’t been a fan of the smell of coffee…   
  
He shook the thought from his mind, turning instead to the rabbit still at the stove. Red eyes followed her every move, how she flipped the cakes with an almost professional elegance then put it into the oven to stay warm while making more. It looked like she had made almost a dozen or so. There was also something frying slow and steady on the back burner, and though he was curious he didn’t ask. Who knew if it was even for breakfast.   
  
“Smells good,” he commented, swirling the coffee before taking another sip.   
  
“I wasn’t sure what you liked for breakfast, but I figured that most animals like pancakes,” she replied, and he saw the insides of her ears turn pink. “I didn’t think to ask you last night, I’m sorry.”   
  
Finn waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t like we were thinking about it. A lot of shit happened last night, and you had other things on your mind.”   
  
“Yeah.” She chuckled sheepishly, flipping another pancake. “Sorry for just dumping all of that on you. Emotional rabbits, right?” Pale blues glances his way, cautious and guarded.

Poor girl. Did she really think that he would make fun of her for that? He looked away from her and down at his mug, swallowing down the lump of resentment at whoever had made her feel that way. Flopsy got that way sometimes, too. Who the hell was going around making fun of animals for showing emotion? What an old world way of thinking.    
  
“‘S not like it’s a bad thing,” he mumbled before taking a longer sip of coffee.

“Thanks.” The surprise in her voice hit him again, the same kind as the other night. It made his stomach twist, and he had to take a short pause from his drink. He almost dumped the rest in the sink, but he didn’t want to be wasteful. What would she think of him?    
  
A tap on his shoulder brought him back to the present. He looked at her, not sure how to feel at the soft look in her eyes. Did she feel sorry for him? Upset? Trying to be strong? He didn’t know how to read her yet, and he had a feeling that it was going to drive him crazy. But he shook that out of his head and forced a neutral look on his face. “Hm?”   
  
The corners of her mouth turned up and she shook her head before turning back to the cupboards. She took out two plates, then reached into a drawer to take out two sets of forks and knives. “Would you mind setting the table for us? I’m almost done here.”   
  
“Sure.” He hopped down from the chair and took the flatware from her, then made his way to the table. It was a little bit of a struggle because of his height, but he managed to set up two placesets by the time she was walking over with all the food. Angelica set the food down then went to get the syrup, coffee, sugar, and creamer. They took their seats, closer than Finn was used to being with a stranger, but he knew it would be easier for them to pass things between them. He finally saw what had been frying on the stove and looked up at her, ears perked with interest and curiosity.    
  
“Is that predator protein?”   
  
Angelica nodded, putting some pancakes on her plate. “Yeah. It’s been in my freezer for a while, so I was pretty excited when I realized that I finally get to cook it again.”

It wasn’t his place to ask, but he was so damn nosy. “Can I ask why you had predator protein in your freezer?”   
  
Her eyes shined as she looked at him, a cheeky grin on her lips. She lifted a paw to hold a finger in front of her mouth. “Secrets, Finnick.” Then she lathered her pancakes with syrup before sitting back. She made an eight pointed symbol across her chest, closing her eyes. “I ask the Lord Frith to bless this food, and to grant us health of the body and growth of crops. Amen.” With her prayer finished, she eagerly dug into her food, though somehow remained polite and elegant while doing so.   
  
Finnick decided to shrug it off in favor of also digging into the food. He loaded his plate with pancakes and protein, lathering both with sweet syrup before digging in.

They ate in silence, finishing the pancakes between the two of them. Afterwards, they enjoyed more coffee, with sugar and creamer this time. When they were both done, Angelica gathered all the plates and took them over to her sink. She wetted down a washcloth and went back to the table to hand it to Finn. “Would you mind wiping down the table while I wash the dishes?”   
  
He gulped down the rest of his coffee and shook his head. “Not at all.” He took the cloth from her and did as she asked, while she headed back into the kitchen to do the dishes. It didn’t take long, since they had been sitting so close. He ignored the heat rising in his ears, stamping down the bashfulness in his chest. It was stupid to feel that way.

He, of course, finished long before her and went to his room to grab his phone while she did the dishes. There were no new notifications, meaning that Judy hadn’t texted him back. Finn chewed on the inside of his cheek, staring at the text she had sent. He really hoped she was okay. He’d only witnessed a small portion of the fight, and what he’d seen had been scary enough. He could only imagine what had happened after he had left. Part of him was glad that he wasn’t there, which immediately made him feel guilty. One of his best friends was hurting and all he could think was how he was glad to be away from it all? How selfish could he be?   
  
With a sigh, he pocketed his phone and headed back to the kitchen, his paws shoved into his pockets. He took his place at the table again, fiddling with his phone while he waited for Angelica to finish up the dishes. Thankfully that didn’t take too long, and she came back over to the table while wiping her paws with a small towel. A frown tugged at her mouth, and she tilted her head at him. “Hey. You good?”

Shit, could she tell? He quickly nodded, feeling his ears heating up again. “Yeah, I’m good.” He put his phone away, looking up to meet her eyes. “So. What now?”

The bunny’s eyes drifted over to the door, her arms crossing in front of her chest. “Well, in the morning I usually work in my garden, pulling weeds and picking anything that seems ready. I also fill up my bird feeders.” She glanced at him. “It’s really a one-animal job, though.”   
  
He nodded, tapping his claws on the table. “Makes sense.” He glanced up at her again. “Is there anything I can do? I don’t think I can just sit here with my thumb up my ass.”   
  
She grinned and swallowed down some giggles. “I get that.” There were a few seconds where she seemed to be thinking, then she looked at him with bright eyes. “Actually, there might be something that you can do for me.”

* * *

“I haven’t been able to turn it on.” Angelica gestured to the tractor from the doorway of the barn. “I don’t want to take it to the mechanic, he’ll charge me an arm and a leg because of who my dad is.” She scowled, her arms crossed in front of her again. “The animals in this town think the Hopps are made of money. And, like, I get it, but I try not to take handouts from my parents if I can avoid it.” With a shake of her head and a sigh, she looked down at him. “My sister told me that you spend a lot of time working on your van. I’m sure there are differences, but an engine’s still an engine, right?”

Finnick nodded to her, looking at the giant red tractor. “Yeah, I can take a look at it, see what I can do.” Red eyes glanced up at her, one corner of his mouth turning up. “Ya got a ladder?”

Soon, she had him all set up on a ladder with a tool box to look at the tractor engine. When she was sure that he would be okay by himself, she walked out of the barn. It was good, hard work, the kind that Finn liked. When he was a kit, he thought that he wanted to be a mechanic one day. He had used to help his father with the family car, with the older fennec teaching him everything he knew. The lessons rang in his head as he worked on the tractor. He wasn’t sure how long he worked, but he soon noticed that the sun was noticeably higher in the sky when Angelica came to check on him later.

“Hey,” the rabbit called out, making her way over to him. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good, I think,” he told her, sitting up and wiping his forehead with the back of his paw. “I think it should work now. The oil needs to be changed, though. You got any handy?”   


“Uhhhhh, I think so?” She looked around the barn, heading over to a corner covered by a dusty sheet. “Lemme see.” She lifted it, looking around before her face lit up. “Ah ha, there we go!” She reached in and grasped something, then made her way back over to him. “This?”

It was an oil can, a rather large one. He nodded, taking it from her. “Yep, that’s it.” He made quick work of changing the oil then shut the hood of the tractor before making his way down the ladder. “There ya go. Wanna see if it’ll turn on?”

The doe nodded eagerly, jogging over to a far wall to grab the keys. She made her way back over, climbing into the seat of the tractor. She put the key in and turned it. The giant machine sputtered for a few moments, making Finn hold his breath, before it turned on with a loud roar. He couldn’t help but grin as Angelica cheered.    
  
“It works!” She turned it off, jumping down and running over to him. Her smile was so warm and genuine that it took his breath away for a few moments. “Thank you so much!”   
  
“Happy to help,” he managed to get out, surprised that his voice didn’t crack. In that moment, she was just...she was so…   
  
“You’re beautiful,” he sputtered out, his eyes going wide when he realized that he had just said. 

_ Shit. _

She froze, the smile leaving her lips as she just stared down at him with wide pale blues. Finn could hear the breeze and birds outside of the barn, and he was sure he had just ruined everything before she seemed to remember how to breathe. “Um...okay.” The insides of her ears were red and her eyes darted away from him. One of her paws grasped the other arm, and she looked so anxious that he wished he could kick his own ass. “Did you, uh, want to come in and wash up before lunch?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t look at her, he was so fucking embarrassed. Why did he always have to make an ass of himself? When would he learn to keep his mouth shut?

“Well, come on, then.” She started towards her house, and he had to jog to catch up with her. Those long legs made it difficult to keep up with her, but he managed to as they made their way into the house. He quickly made his way out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom. It only took one look in the mirror to realize just how dirty he had gotten. Black oil and grease covered his paws and forearms, and streaks also covered his face and ears. Damn, no wonder she wanted him to wash up. He made quick work of that, scrubbing himself with the bar of soap on the sink. It took a good few minutes to get it all off, and he splashed water on his face to try to help calm himself down.   
  
It wasn’t like his weird, sudden compliment wasn’t true. Angelica was a beautiful doe. She was thicker in the hips and thighs than her sisters--he pretended that he wasn’t burning under his fur as he thought that--and she was certainly taller than any of her family, but that didn’t mean she was ugly. Far from it, actually. She was beautiful, in an...almost motherly way. Was that weird to think? Maybe. But it was the only way he could think of it.   
  
Angelica was soft, in every way. She had a gentle, loving heart, with soft fur and soft eyes. She loved her family, especially her sisters. She had agreed to let him stay with her for her sister’s sake, even though it had very visibly made her uncomfortable again. She had tried to make up with her sister Elyza, to the point where the desire to know what the hell had happened dug at him. He just couldn’t imagine her doing anything to purposely hurt her sister.   
  
And Alec…   
  
What the fuck had happened there? He had hurt her, and it clearly hadn’t been the first time. Whatever he'd done...it broke her. Just thinking about the terrified look on her face when the buck addressed her made his fists clench tight. He wished he could rewind time so he could break that fucker’s face with his bat. Finn didn’t know what he’d done, but he knew that the ass deserved to suffer for it.   
  
_ Enough. Get it together. _   
  
Finn wiped his face and paws with a towel before exiting the bathroom and heading back to the kitchen.   
  
Angelica had set the table with paper towels this time, with sandwiches and chips awaiting him. The sandwich in his place had more protein in it, looking crispier than it had been at breakfast. The gesture tugged at his heartstrings, and he smiled at her as he climbed into the chair. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She glanced at him, the insides of her ears still pink. Pale blues blinked then looked away from him, focusing on her own sandwich. She started on it, and he did the same. It was good, with fresh tomatoes and lettuce and carrots. She must have picked them from her garden. They ate in silence, crunching quietly. It was more awkward than breakfast had been, and he knew that he had to say something before he panicked.   
  
“Look--”   
  
“Did you mean it?” She looked at him, her eyes almost...fearful. Gods, that hurt. 

He finished chewing the last bite of his sandwich before looking at her. He nodded, slowly. “Yeah. I did.”   
  
She gulped, looking away from him and playing with the last crust, nibbling her bottom lip. “May I...ask why you said it?”

“I’m sorry if it made you feel weird,” he started, but she held up a paw and he quickly shut up.

“I don’t want you to think that I think you were flirting with me or anything,” Angelica glanced at him, the insides of her ears pink, “that would be silly. And it’s not that I don’t appreciate it, because I do. I don’t hear that a lot anymore.” Her eyes darted towards the living room, and he knew that she was thinking of the urn on the shelf. “And I’m sorry if my reaction made you feel bad, I didn’t mean to. I just…” She gulped then looked at him. “It was just kind of sudden, you know?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, tapping the table nervously with his claws. “I guess...I just thought it and said it out loud. I wasn’t tryin’ to flirt,” he added quickly, “but I did mean it. You are beautiful, Angelica.” He took in a deep breath, forcing himself to meet her eyes. “You’ve been so nice to me, and that means a lot more than you know. I was really nervous about coming here to Bunnyburrow, and worried that your folks and family wouldn’t like me. But you helped me feel like...a part of shit I guess, I dunno.” He looked away, tracing a crack in the table with a claw. 

“I get that.” Her paw covered his, and his eyes flew up to meet hers. There it was again, that soft look in her eyes. It made his heart pound harder, and the skin under his fur felt like it was on fire.   
  
He quickly looked away, trying to breathe evenly to get his heartbeat back under control. Her ears weren’t just for decoration, she would be able to hear his heart racing. He was trying really hard to keep things from getting awkward again; he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, after all. “Yeah, well, it’s old news now.” He pulled his paw out from under hers, giving it a pat before placing both of his paws in his lap.

Angelica kept his gaze, and it took all of his willpower to not look away. Once again, he couldn’t read her, and it was driving him crazy. What was going on inside that bunny brain of hers.

“You don’t like talking about yourself, do you?” she asked suddenly, not breaking eye contact.

Finn shrugged, having to look away before he had a heart attack. Holy shit, what the hell was going on with him? Why was he feeling like this? It was stupid, she was just a rabbit! Sure, she was Flopsy’s sister, so of course they would be a little bit alike, but this was just ridiculous. How could two animals be so different, yet the same at the same time? “Just not a whole lot to say about myself.” 

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Trust me, it is.”   
  
“...if you say so.” The tone of her voice told him that she wasn’t going to accept that as an answer, but also that she wasn’t going to push anymore. At least, not right now.

He forced his eyes back to her face, his heart still pounding inside of his chest. “So, what now?”

Pale blues blinked and her mouth set in a line as she thought, one of her paws going up to hold her chin. “Well, after lunch I usually set aside time to clean my house. Dust all of the shelves, vacuum the living room and the furniture, mop my kitchen. I’ll probably do laundry, too.” She looked him up and down, nearly giving him a heart attack before she spoke again. “Would you like me to wash your clothes? I notice that those are the same ones you wore yesterday. Do you have anything else to wear?”

He nodded, relieved. They did need to be washed and he really hadn’t wanted to ask her. “Yeah, I do. And that would be cool, thanks.”   
  
“No problem. Go ahead and go change, then, I’ll get started now. Can you also strip the sheets off the bed in the room?” She started for the hall, probably towards her room.   
  
Finn scrambled down from his chair to hurry after her. “Uh, yeah, I can do that.” He went into the guest room, closing the door behind him. He took a minute to lean against it, closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing. Okay, seriously, this was fucking dumb. Why was he reacting this way to this rabbit? She was just a bunny, and she was Flopsy’s sister! He didn’t even know her! Gods, what a fucking hypocrite he was…   
  
He shook his head, pushing the thought away as he opened his eyes and heading for his overnight bag. He took out the extra clothes he had packed, a pair of black shorts and a Pawaiian design blue shirt. He stripped out of his old clothes and put the others on, then climbed onto the bed to start pulling the sheets off. There were a couple of times where the fitted sheet almost went over his head, but he managed to stop it. After getting the pillowcase off, he gathered everything and went over to the door. He got it open and, after seeing that the other bedroom door was open, he headed towards the laundry room.   
  
Angelica was there, putting her sheets and clothes into the washer. She looked over when he walked in, leaning down to take it all from him. After getting the settings right and adding detergent, she closed the washer and started it up. “Alright. This will probably take a few hours to wash and dry.” She looked at him, her paws on her hips. “So, what do you want to do to help?”

Finn shrugged, shoving his paws into his pockets. “Whaddya got for me to do?”   
  
She grinned down at him. “How would you feel about mowing my lawn?”   
  
He raised an eyebrow at her.

* * *

Thankfully, she had a riding mower. There was way too much property to even think about doing it all with a push mower.   
  
It was actually pretty fun, riding around on the thing as music blasted from the giant headphones he’d bought years ago. He was able to take his time, make sure he did it perfectly. This was going to be the best looking yard in the whole damn burrows.

It also gave him an opportunity to see just how massive the property was. Angelica had told him that her property ended at the treeline, but that went for at least thirty feet away from her porch. It made him wonder why she had ever needed so much. Was it her husband’s idea? Had they planned to eventually dig a burrow for themselves here? Had they been planning on having that big of a family? It made sense, since her family had over three hundred children and her husband’s family had one hundred and fifty children. He couldn’t even IMAGINE having that many kits. Then again, fox families had no need for more than two or three kits. Especially in the city.   
  
He’d seen so many families torn apart, kits taken away and put into the foster system. The system was TERRIBLE to fox kits, always putting them in the worst homes with them almost guaranteed to never get adopted and only being thrown on the streets when they aged out of it. It was bullshit.   
  
Finn growled, revving the engine of the mower and focusing on the task at paw again. He had to stop thinking about that or he was going to fuck up her yard. She was already letting him stay with her free of charge for much longer than either of them had anticipated. But...he was almost glad. She was easy to get along with, easy to please. Much different than Bella, who had always been so high strung and high maintenance. He’d loved the vixen, but there had been plenty of times when he’d needed to get away from her. So many fights and arguments…

Why was he thinking about her so much today?

Probably the lavender. It had been Bella’s scent of choice, in perfumes, soaps, candles...anything that could smell, she had wanted lavender. She claimed that it helped with her anxiety and could keep her calm, but he had never noticed a difference. Still, if it made her feel better, he would have bought everything lavender scented in the world. 

The fields were massive, going all along the edge of Angelica’s property, all the way to the treeline. And beyond that, he was pretty sure that he could smell a river. He wondered if that was where her water came from. He made a mental note to ask. It would be another piece of conversation.    
  
Though, surprisingly, so far they hadn’t struggled with that kind of thing. It was a blessing, honestly. Usually he was so bad at talking to animals, but with her...it was easy. Almost comfortable. Which was silly, he barely knew her.   
  
Still…Something about her made his walls go down...made him want to trust her. Which was dangerous for him.   
  
He had to be careful. If he wasn’t, she might know much more than she ever needed, or wanted, to. He just had to find a way to keep his fucking mouth shut.   
  
He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but it was enough for him to get the whole property mowed. And it looked pretty damn good, if he said so himself. The grass was short and immaculately even. Finnick grinned and drove the thing into the barn, next to the tractor where it had been when Angelica led him in there. He turned it off, pocketing the key and hopping down. He went over to his van, unlocking it and opening the passenger door to toss his headphones in. Then he closed the door and headed back to the porch, humming as he went along. He checked the time on his phone. 5:00pm even. Nice.

The smell of freshly baked bread hit his nose when he stepped into the house, and he took a moment to stop and get a good, long sniff in. Oh, that was heavenly, especially after a long few hours of being able to smell nothing but grass. He could also make out the smell of potatoes, and of course some predator protein. The desire to know why she had it was nagging at him, but he knew that he wasn’t going to get that answer out of her. At least, not tonight. Maybe, in time...he shook that out of his head. For all he knew, he’d be heading back to the city tonight. He made a mental note to call Judy after dinner, see how things were going over there.   
  
“That smells good,” he commented as he made his way into the dining room.   
  
Angelica looked over at him, a warm smile on her face. “I’m glad you think so. I take after my mother in that I only know how to cook for a small army.”   
  
“Luckily for you, I can eat just about that much,” Finnick teased her, grinning back.

The doe giggled and shook her head, pointing down the hall. “Go take a shower before we eat, you’ll feel better. Plus, I don’t want you stinking up my house.”

He held a paw to his chest in mock offense. “I am wounded, madam. Wounded!”

She just rolled those pale blues at him, pointing harder this time. “Har har. Go. Don’t make me wash you in my sink,” she threatened playfully, wagging a spoon at him.

“Anything but that!” he gasped in mock fear, before chuckling and heading to the guest room. He grabbed his shower stuff from his overnight bag, along with his sleep shorts and shirt, then made his way to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, humming as he got his stuff situated. Then he turned the water on, making sure the temperature was just right before stripping and stepping into the shower.

The warm water washed over him, making his eyes close and his muscles relax. It had been quite some time since he had done real, serious physical labor. Since he’d gone legit, actually. Working in the restaurant wasn’t easy, but it didn’t require him to really put any backbone into any of the work. Dishwashing had been a piece of cake, and busing tables was not hard at all. Bar tending was just working with alcohol, maybe flipping them and doing fancy moves if he felt adventurous with the night crowd. But none of it made him feel as tired as he felt right now.

It was a good kind of tired, the kind that told him that he’d worked hard and it had meant something, helped someone. He liked it.

Finn wiped some water from his eyes then grabbed soap to start washing himself. He didn’t want to keep Angelica waiting too long.

He was a quick washer, and was out of the shower in seven minutes tops. He dried himself the best he could before putting on the clothes he’d brought with him. He opened the door to vent out the bathroom and took his dirty clothes to the room before heading back down the hall.

It looked like Angelica had everything ready for dinner, with the table set and the food awaiting them. She was just putting the bread on the table when he walked in. She looked over at him and smiled, setting the bread down and wiping her paws on a towel. “Feel better?”

“Mm hm,” he nodded, going over to the refrigerator. “Want me to grab some drinks for us?”

“Sure, if you wouldn’t mind, that would be great.” He heard her sit down in a chair, the air wheezing out from the cushion. “I’ll take some lemonade.”

He opened the fridge and spotted it, able to grab it, along with what looked like iced tea. The door was closed and he saw that the chair that he had grabbed that morning was still by the counter, so he was able to climb up and open a cabinet to grab a couple of glasses for them. It was a little bit of a struggle to climb down with them and the bottles of drink in his arms, but he managed to do it without falling or breaking anything. Taking this victory in silent stride, he made his way back over to the table.   
  
Angelica reached down, taking her glass and lemonade from him so that he would have an easier time getting into his own chair. He was pleased that she left him the other glass and tea to carry, though. It made him feel like she trusted him to be able to do things on his own. The thought made the insides of his ears turn pink, and he desperately hoped that she didn’t notice or would at least ignore it.

It seemed that she did, as she only poured herself a drink and said her prayer to Frith again before serving herself. Finn said his own silent prayer to Inari then did the same. Dinner consisted of freshly baked bread, a potato dish that seemed to be served with some kind of cheese alternative, a green bean casserole, and of course more predator protein for him. He was a little surprised at the lack of vegetables with every meal, but he quickly scolded himself mentally for that. That was a stereotype, and she deserved more from him than that.

The meal was eaten in silence, though unlike at lunch this time it was quite comfortable. They were both tired from a day of hard work, and they were enjoying this meal that they had earned. It had been so long since Finnick had had a full day of homemade meals like this. Most days, he heated up a frozen meal for lunch and got takeout for dinner. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had a good breakfast. These days, the first meal of his day was just a cup of coffee. He had the idea to mention that to the doe, but ultimately decided against it. Though he was sure that her reaction would be something akin to horror, especially if this was how she ate all the time.

They finished eating and Finnick helped her clear the table. He offered to wash the dishes while she put the leftovers away. He made quick work of the dishes, having gotten so used to having to wash quickly at his work. She seemed impressed, her eyebrows raised and her eyes shining with approval. “Wow. Can I hire you as my personal handy animal?”

“You couldn’t afford me, sweetheart,” he smirked at her, finishing the last dish and putting it on the drying rack.

“Not all payment has to be monetary,” she cooed back, leaning towards him with a sultry look in her eyes.

Finn panicked, his own eyes going wide and his heart suddenly racing in his chest. “Um--!”

The doe snorted, leaning away and laughing. Her laugh was like her smile, open and unabashed. “Oh, you should have seen your face!” One of her paws went up to cup her head, the other thrown over her tummy as she continued to giggle. “I wish I’d gotten a picture!”

Under any other circumstances, he would have been pissed, but he couldn’t help but smile and chuckle along with her. Something about her humor was just so addicting, and soon he was full on laughing with her. It felt good to be laughing _ with _ someone about himself, rather than feeling ashamed when others laughed  _ at _ him. Though he couldn’t imagine Angelica ever laughing at someone in a way that would make them feel bad. She wasn’t that kind of female, he was learning.

It took a good few minutes for their mirth to die out, and even then it really only faded to sparse giggles and wide smiles. His chest ached, but it felt good. Overall, he just felt so...good.

It really hit him then, just how long it had been since he’d had a day like this. A day with no stress, no worry, just contentment.

The thought wiped away any humor from him, leaving him feeling almost...empty now. Holy shit. How long had he been going on like this, never feeling anything except tired and resigned? Judy had helped to lighten that load and his life had gotten better ever since she’d rolled into it, but...shit.

A tender paw landed on his shoulder, which startled him out of his thoughts. His eyes darted up to meet hers, startled to see the stark concern in those big pale blues. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked him, going to kneel down in front of him.   
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said quickly, trying to shrug her paw off.

“I think you’re lying to me.”

“It’s not important, really.”

“Finn.” Her other paw landed on his other shoulder, her expression getting more serious. “I know that we don’t know each other that much, but you can talk to me. I spilled my guts out to you the other night, it’s only fair that I offer the same.”

“Seriously, Ange, I’m fine.” It occurred to him that this was the first time he’d used the nickname, but he didn’t have time to focus on it. He backed out of his grasp, feeling himself tense up as he prepared to try to fight her off. Physically, she would beat him, but he knew that she wasn’t going to try to grab him or anything. Mentally, though...he’d known that his walls were starting to fall down around her too fast. This was just proof of that.

She kept looking at him, and the feeling in her eyes was just too much for him; he had to look away. It was irrational, but he felt fear of her seeing right through him and uncovering his deepest, darkest secrets. 

It was quiet for a few moments before she stood up. He braced himself for her to be angry, or to press more, but once again she surprised him.

“Want a drink?”

He blinked, looking up at her. “Huh?”

“You want a drink?” Her paws were set on her hips. “It’s been a long day, I think we’ve earned one.”

What was her game? Slowly, he nodded. “Sure. I’ll never say no to alcohol.” He shoved his paws in his pockets. “Whatcha got?”

She grinned and went over to a cabinet behind the table, kneeling down and opening it. “Let’s see. I have peppermint gin, carrot vodka--”

_ Gag. _

“--vanilla rum, licorice rum, and some hard apple ciders.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “So what are you feeling?”

He took a moment to think about it. “How about the rums and some ciders? How much do you have?”

Angelica turned back to the cabinet, and it was almost a minute before she stood up and turned to him. She had two cases of ciders in one paw and the other arm held four bottles of hard liquor. “Think this is enough? I can drink quite a bit.”

“So can I.” He went over to her, holding out his arms. “Here, let me hold some of that for you.”

She leaned down, handing him one of the cases and a bottle of rum. He wanted to insist that he could hold more, but realistically he knew that trying wasn’t a good idea. He adjusted the items in his arms as she stood up straight, grinning down at him. “Mind taking this outside? It’s usually nice out during this time, especially as the sun’s going down.”

“Sounds good to me.” He grinned back at her, feeling more at ease already.

She led him to the door, opening it and waiting until he was on her porch before letting it close behind them. She went back inside to grab some chasers for this, some lemonade and soda, along with a couple of glasses. Finn settled on the first step of the porch while Angelica sat on the third step. They were almost at eye level like this, he noted with some smug satisfaction. It wasn’t often that he got to be eye to eye with mammals, so he would take what he could get.

She’d been right, it was very nice out. The sun was almost completely set, which led the sky to be a gorgeous mix of purples and pinks and dark oranges. It wasn’t like he’d never seen a sunset before, but there was something about how it looked here in the country opposed to in the city. In Zootopia, the smog in the city was thick, as much as the mayor and rich animals there wanted to pretend like it wasn’t. But here...the sky was so clear, so clean. One could look up and see for what felt like miles. He was almost excited to see the stars, which felt silly but who could blame him?

Angelica filled their glasses with rum, then handed one to him before clinking them together. “Cheers.” Then she took a long sip, leaning back against the porch steps with a soft sigh.

Finnick watched her out of the corner of his eye as he took a long swig. She was so curvy...he forced his eyes away, barely keeping from growling at himself. This was inappropriate, what the hell was he doing?? He took a longer sip, hoping he could drown his embarrassment with alcohol.

_ She’s Flopsy’s sister, don’t be gross. _

“You okay?” Angelica asked him, bringing him out of his inner turmoil.

He quickly nodded at her, feeling the insides of his ears heating up. Damn it, how did she do that? “I’m fine,” he said, probably too quickly.

The corners of her mouth turned down and she looked away from him, seeming to be contemplating the alcohol in her glass. The look in her eyes tugged at his conscious a bit, and he opened his mouth to apologize when she suddenly looked at him, a huge grin parting her lips. “I have an idea. Let’s play a game.”   
  
_ A game? _

He regarded her for a moment before nodding, slowly. “Okay. What do you have in mind?”

She grinned wider, her ears up straight. “Two truths and a lie. But!” She held up a finger. “Let’s make it a little more interesting.”

An unexplained lump formed in his throat and he was quick to try to swallow it down. “What’s that?”

“Whoever wins the round has to tell the other something about themselves, something that they haven’t told them yet?” He wondered if she could sense the panic welling up inside of him because she said next, “I’ll go first.” She sat up straight, her lips pursed as she took a moment to think before grinning at him again. “One, I’m the tallest in my family; two, I was in the first litter; three, I’m hopelessly in love with Tim T-Bone.”

She had made this round easy for him, he could tell, but the sincerity in it made him smile. Finnick chuckled and shook his head. “The third one is a lie.”

Angelica nodded with a happy hum. “Correct. So,” she sat up, leaning away from him just a bit, “what do you want to know?”

Many questions flowed through his mind, so many things he wanted to know. But since she had started easy on him, he decided to do the same for her. “How old are you?”

Pale blues blinked at him, seeming surprised, but it was quickly replaced with a smile. “I’m twenty-seven. I turn twenty-eight next month, on the third.”

Twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight. So that made her about six years younger than him. Not a terrible age gap, he told himself. He’d seen worse. After all, Bella had only been nineteen when they’d gotten together, and he was a whole ten years her senior. He shoved that out of his mind, nodding. “Not bad.”

“How about you?” she asked him, her head tilted to the side.

“Um,” he blinked, thrown off a bit. “Thirty-four.”

“Still in your prime.” She grinned at him, her nose twitching a bit. After taking a long swig of her drink, she continued, “Alright, it’s your turn. Two truths and a lie, go.”

“Okay.” He sat up, taking a minute to think. Gods, what should he say without giving away too much about himself just yet? “Um...okay, here. One, I’m an only child; two, I used to be a mafia boss’s right paw animal; and three, uh….I hate orange juice.” He was really bad at this, if that was the worst lie he could think up.

Somehow she sensed this, and the bunny giggled before answering, “The last one. How can anyone hate orange juice?”

“Some animals really don’t like it,” he shrugged, taking a swig of his rum. “I don’t get it, but more power to ‘em I guess.”

“So am I right?” she asked, grinning at him.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Good.” She leaned forward, her eyes shining in the rising moonlight. “What are your parents like? You’ve met mine, but I’m curious about yours.”

The question was meant to be light hearted, it wasn’t her fault that the game had to get so serious so fast. He swallowed hard and averted his eyes. He knew that if he asked, she would let him pass the question, but...maybe it would feel nice to finally talk about it out loud. “My ma’s dead and my pop’s in jail.”

Her paw rested on his shoulder, soft and warm, the same as her voice. “I’m so sorry.”

He looked over at her, one corner of his mouth turning up a bit. “Thanks.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“You’re fine.” He reached up to pat her paw with his before letting it fall to his lap. “Ma died of a brain tumor when I was five. It came quick and it took her quick.” He shrugged weakly, taking another long swig of his rum. He’d need more soon. “Pop’s in jail for bank robbery. It was all pinned on him and he pleaded guilty to get his sentence reduced.”

“They pinned the whole thing on one little fennec fox?” Her tone was so appalled that he almost laughed.

“Pop’s taller than me, though not by much.” He shrugged again, looking at her. “I could never get the truth out of him about it, so I stopped asking.”

She shook her head with a huff, removing her paw from his shoulder. “And here I thought the system was supposed to help animals.” She looked at him, a deep understanding in her eyes. “Guess we both got fucked over by it, huh?”

Hearing that word come out of her mouth had to be one of the new greatest wonders of the world. He didn’t dare say that out loud, instead opting for just nodding along to her statement. “Yep.”

She poured more rum into both of their glasses then raised hers. “To never getting justice.”

“Or the truth.” He clinked their glasses together and they both took a long swig. Then he turned to her, eager to lighten the mood. “Alright, your turn. Go.”

* * *

“Bull fucking shit, you did not meet Stingray,” Finnick accused her as she claimed that his guess was wrong.

“Yes, I did!” Angelica insisted with a shit-eating grin on her face. “He stopped in at the local diner when he was on tour a few years ago. My mom got a picture and nearly swooned over him. He’s a good-looking opossum, I really couldn’t blame her.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes, but he could tell that she was telling the truth. He made a note to ask Judy to get that picture from her mom, though. He still wanted proof. “So what was the lie?”

“That I was the oldest in my litter.” She chuckled sheepishly. “I’m actually the fourth youngest. There were five in my litter.”

He shook his head again, sighing. “Alright. What do you wanna know?”

She leaned forward, clearly interested in whatever his answer was going to be. “So what’s your deal with Nick? Judy told me that you guys were best friends but you strayed apart, but now you guys seem to be on good terms again.”

Finn set his glass beside him and leaned back on his paws, looking up at the beautiful night sky. One could see the stars for miles and miles. He suddenly itched to get a telescope and bring it out here. “My pop and Marian--Nick’s ma--were friends when they were kids. Marian married Cash, Nick’s dad, and Pop married my ma right after they graduated and they didn’t really talk for a long while. Then one night I found Nick cryin’ in an alleyway and I took him home. When I called my pop at their house, Marian realized who he was and they reconnected. Her and Cash helped out in any way they could, havin’ us over for dinner and offerin’ to watch me when my pop had to go on jobs. Right before the bank heist, Pop left me with Marian and told me to mind her.” He shook his head, sighing. “When he went to jail, Marian raised me like her own.” Red eyes met her pale blues. “So Nick and I are practically brothers. We look out for each other, even when we’re mad. He’s family.”

“He’s lucky to have you,” she offered sweetly, smiling.

Finn shook his head. “No, I’m lucky to have them. They saved me from the foster system. I owe them a lot.”

She smiled and shook her head, taking a sip of rum. “Alright, enough of that. It’s your turn.”

* * *

“I can’t believe you’ve never listened to Catlor Swift!” Angelica exclaimed.

“I can’t believe you have,” Finn shot back at her, glaring playfully at her.

“Hey, her songs were super relatable to me when I was in high school, and I’ve practically grown up with her,” the doe defended, the insides of her ears turning pink while also grinning. “I’m not ashamed.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckled, grinning back.   
  
“So what was the lie?” she asked, her head tilted to the side.

He rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. “I, uh, never went to prom.”

Instead of being shocked like he had expected, Angelica just shrugged and drank more of her alcohol. “If it was anything like my proms, you didn’t miss out on much.”

This reaction shocked but pleased him. When he’d told Judy that he missed out on prom, she’d gone on and on about how bad she felt for him and how she wished he could help him get that experience back. The difference in their reactions was interesting, considering how close the two were and how alike they seemed to be. He filed that information away for another time. For now, he had a question to ask. “Why did you become a teacher? And why preschool?”

Her head tilted to one side as she considered his question. “Well, I love children for one. I always have. I helped raise a majority of my siblings.” She linked her paws together over her knees. “In rabbit society, it’s pretty common for that to happen, especially in families as big as ours. There were siblings that I was closer to, of course, but starting with Judy’s litter I took care of most of them. Mom was so busy popping out kits that she didn’t always have time to care properly for all of them.” She glanced at him. “Please don’t think less of her, it wasn’t that she didn’t love us, there were just too many of us.

“Anyways,” she continued, looking up at the sky, “I was never like Judy. I didn’t want to be different or change the world. But I did want to help, in any little way that I could. I always thought that if I could just touch one life, make a difference for one kit, that would be good enough for me.” She reached up to smooth her ears down her back. “I figured, what better way to do that than be a teacher? And what better time to start helping than when they’re still young and impressionable.”

“You sound like an awesome teacher,” he told her, his inhibitions getting lower the more he drank but absolutely meaning it. 

She looked at him, smiling softly. “Thanks. I do my best.” Then she sat up straighter, shaking her head. “Alright, my turn.”

* * *

They went back and forth like this for a while, learning mostly small but insignificant things about each other. Angelica had wanted to be a professional baseball player when she was a kit, but gave up on that dream when she was told that baseball was for males. Finnick hadn’t lost his first baby tooth until he was eight. She was never much of a reader until she got out of college. He had once gone to the République Française and had fallen in love with their culture and music. She had kissed a hedgehog in elementary school only to be rejected by him the next day.

Things went well until she asked about his romantic history. He hesitated, not sure if he was ready to spill his guts on that just yet. But he didn’t have to tell her about Bella, not yet… “There was this vixen I fell in love with years ago. Clarice. She was a corsac fox, and she was fucking gorgeous.” He was pretty drunk at this point, which helped to loosen his lips. “She was married, but she told me that her husband was abusive and neglectful. She strung me along for eight years, promising over and over that she was gonna leave him and then we could be together.” He shook his head with a sigh. “I was an idiot.”

“How old were you when it started?”

“Sixteen.”

“And how old was she.”

“...twenty.”

The look of horror on her face left him flabbergasted. “Finn! That’s not okay! That’s so fucked up!”

He shrugged, a bit confused by her reaction. “I was a male, I wanted to sleep with her.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” she shook her head at him, a deep frown on her lips. “She knew what she was doing was wrong. You were a minor, Finnick. That’s rape.” She reached over to take one of his paws in hers, giving it a firm squeeze. “Whatever she did, whatever she said, that’s on her. Not you.”

All he could do was squeeze back, trying desperately to fight off the emotion rising in him. She was right, of course she was. He’d just never considered it like that. Fuck… He pushed it down, blinking rapidly and clearing his throat to get rid of any potential tears. “Well, I haven’t seen her in nearly ten years. Her husband ended up hearin’ rumors of her cheatin’ and moved them out of the city to try and save their marriage. Or so she told me before they left.”

“Good.” She gave his paw another squeeze, a grim smile on her muzzle. “I hope she stays away, for your sake.”

“Thanks, Ange.” He knew that he should let go of her paw, but it was so soft and warm, and the only other mammal he’d been this close to recently was Judy...surely it was okay to indulge himself. Just this once.

* * *

“Why have you stayed in Bunnyburrow?” Finnick asked her when he won the next round. Their paws had finally parted, and he pushed down the emptiness that it left him with. “With all the shitty memories that you have here, why stay?” He wasn’t accusing, he was genuinely curious. Surely she knew that she deserved better than this?

Angelica wrapped her arms around her legs, refusing to meet his eyes. “My family is here. I’m just not ready to leave them yet. Same with Bill’s family. They’re all I have left of him.”

“It doesn’t really seem like you’re that close to your family,” he prodded gently. “I’m not sayin’ you don’t love them, or that they don’t love you, but don’tcha ever think that maybe it’d be better for you if you left?”

The doe shook her head, her arms tightening around her legs. “I’m just not ready.”

“Fair enough.” There was one last thing niggling at his mind. He looked at her, his resolve firm in his drunken state. “One last thing I wanna ask you. So you go again.”

She seemed taken aback by the tone of his voice, blinking at him as her ears fell down her back. “Um, okay.” She worried her lip between her teeth, seeming unsure. “One, I miss my husband so much that it physically pains me.” He could tell that she was a lot more drunk than she had let on, but he didn’t dare interrupt her. “Two, um, I-I hate ducks. And three…” She paused, the silence heavy between them before she looked up at him, her expression so haunted that it sent shivers down her back, along with what she said.

“I think I know who killed my husband.”

“Two,” he breathed out, his eyes intent on hers as he watched her struggle to hold back her emotions. “That’s the lie.”

She just nodded, looking away and clinging to her knees. “What do you want to know?”

He reached out to put a paw on hers, waiting until her eyes met his to speak.

“What really happened between you and your brother-in-law?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am most active on my Twitter account, @mamasallywhite, so come talk to me on there if you'd like! i hope everyone is having a good day and staying inside and wearing your masks! i will see you in the next update.


	10. The Secrets That You Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of drinking, Finnick worries that he's ruined his new found friendship with Angelica. It turns out that he didn't, but now the question remains: what the hell happened between Angelica and Alec?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all, and happy labor day! It's taken me a few weeks to finish this chapter, but i'm pretty happy with how it's turned out. A shout out to TheUnaccomplishedWriter and Midlou for beta-ing this chapter for me, thanks guys! I hope that everyone is staying safe during these hard times. stay inside as much as you can and wear a mask if you go out!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!! abuse is dicussed in this chapter, so if that triggers you then please be cautious going into this one.

Angelica froze, her eyes wide as she stared at him. The look on her face was shocked, maybe even a bit unsettled? Finnick could feel his heart sinking into his stomach, or maybe that was the alcohol settling wrong. 

“I, um,” she stuttered, yanking her paw out from under his.

“Shit, wait, no, I’m sorry,” he started, reaching out to her.

The tension was broken by the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. Finn looked away from Angelica, scrambling to yank his phone out. That was Judy’s ringtone. He quickly answered, bringing the phone to his ear. “Flopsy??”

_ “Finn, hey!” _ Judy sounded a bit breathless.  _ “How are you?” _

He peeked over to see Angelica slipping inside and swallowed down a groan. Inari damn it. He rubbed a paw across his face but kept a falsely cheerful voice. “I’m good! How about you?”

_ “Sooooo much better, oh my gosh.” _ He could hear the relief in her voice. _ “My family FINALLY stopped fighting tonight. I think they’ve reached a happy compromise, thank the gods.” _

“Oh, yeah?” Every instinct was screaming at his drunk ass to go after the tall doe and apologize, but he had a feeling that doing that would just make things worse. “What did they decide?”

_ “Well, Alec is banned from the burrow, which everyone is pretty happy with. They’re going to call Elyza tomorrow and tell her. I kind of wish they would do it in person, but no one wants to see that sleazebag again. She and the kits are still welcome in their home, but only if she promises to make sure that Alec never shows up again.” _

“I see.” He kept glancing at the door and he felt like a jerk for not really caring about the conversation, but...fuck. He’d really fucked up.

_ “How is everything going there? You and Angie getting along okay?” _

Were they? After this? He hoped so, but he knew better than to be too optimistic. He just hoped he hadn’t ruined everything… “Yeah. You were right, she’s really nice.”

_ “Yeah, Angie’s the best.” _ The pride she felt was very obvious and his heart hurt. This was Flopsy’s sister, his best friend, and he’d gone and done this? What the hell was wrong with him? Fuck.

“Hey, Flopsy, I hate to do this, but I’m actually pretty drunk right now and I think I need to go to sleep.” Clearly he did, if he was just letting his mouth run like this.

_ “Yeah, I could kind of hear that in your voice.” _ Judy chuckled on the other end of the line.  _ “Well, I’ll let you go. Oh, before you do, though, Nick and I are gonna be by later in the afternoon to visit with her for a bit before we head back. Does that sound good to you?” _

“Yep, sounds just fine.”

_ “Alright. Thank you for everything, Finn. I really appreciate you being so understanding.” _

“Hey, you’re my best friend. And it’s the least I could do, after you helped me so much.” The smile that came to him was small but real, and he was glad for it. 

_ “You’re the best, Finn. Sleep well. Love you!” _

“Love you, too.” He hung up and set the phone down, rubbing at his face with a grim sigh.

Damn it. How could he fix this?

Well, he was in no state to go asking for forgiveness. Besides, he had a feeling that she wouldn’t want to talk to him right now. His need to talk everything out was outweighed by the respect he had for her wishes. And what he’d told Flopsy was true, he was very drunk and probably needed to sleep it off.

He stood up, his head whirling as he stood up. He had to grab onto the railing to steady himself. Damn, how much  _ had _ he drank?? He looked over at where his cup had been on to discover that it was missing, along with the alcohol and tea and lemonade. When had she taken them in? How had he missed that? Just how drunk  _ WAS _ he?? He shook his head, grabbing his phone and making his way inside.

The lights were off, making the inside of the house dark except for the lamp she left on in the living room. Finn stumbled his way down the hall to his room. He barely managed to close the door behind him before making his way to the bed. He stripped down to his boxers, throwing the clothes haphazardly around the room. He plugged his phone into its charger and turned the bedside lamp off--he didn’t remember turning it on, had she done that too?--and flopped onto the pillows. His paw reached down to tug the blankets over him before he passed out cold.

* * *

He woke up with a start the next morning, his heart racing. Shit, what had he been dreaming about? He couldn’t remember exactly what, all he knew was that he had been terrified. Fuck. He hoped he hadn’t cried out again.

He sat up slowly, wincing at the dull ache in the back of his head. Fuck, he hated hangovers. He turned to grab his phone and saw a glass of water and some painkillers on the bedside desk. His heart skipped a beat. Angelica must have made her way into his room that morning to leave that for him. She was so nice...and he’d gone and fucked everything up.

He had to take it back, tell her that he was sorry.

Finnick sat up slowly, relieved that he didn’t feel any nausea. He reached over to grab the pills and the water, and in no time had swallowed them and downed more than half the water. He had cottonmouth like a motherfucker, and he was very aware of how dirty he felt after not washing before bed. He slipped out from under the covers and onto the floor, wobbling a bit before regaining his balance. Then he looked around, cursing his drunk self for throwing off his clothes. His shirt was on one side of the room and his shorts were on another. With a heavy sigh, he retrieved them. He went to grab his overnight bag and a change of clothes then made his way to the door. 

He managed to get it open, peeking both ways down the hall to make sure she wasn’t around before quickly making his way to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him then set to work showering and getting himself cleaned up.

Afterwards, he felt much better, as he had predicted he would. He dried himself off before putting his clothes on, then gathered all of his stuff and made his way back to the room. He packed up his stuff, remembering that Nick and Judy were planning on leaving today. The thought made a little pang go through his heart, and he quickly stuffed that down. That was silly, he had no reason to feel like that. He needed to go home, back to reality and his job and his life in the city.

For some reason, that no longer held the appeal it had before they had come here…

He had to admit, he would miss it here. Miss the clear air and the brilliant sky. Miss the homemade meals and the soft bed. And...he would miss--

_ No. Stop it. What the fuck are you thinking, you have no right, you dick. _

Finnick groaned, burying his face in his paws. This was too much, he couldn’t think about this right now. He had other things to do.

Like find Angelica and apologize.

He lowered his paws and nodded firmly to himself. That was the right thing to do, he knew. He had crossed a line last night and he needed to make it right.

He grabbed the last of his things, his charger and other pair of clothes, which had been folded and set on top of his bag. Fuck, she really was too nice… He zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, then went over to the door. He opened it and stepped out into the hall, sniffing at the air.

It smelled sweet, different than the pancakes the other morning. Had she really still made breakfast after what he’d said the other night? His heart skipped a beat as he made his way down the hall to the kitchen.

Angelica was pulling a pan out of the oven as he made his way to the door. She glanced up, watching him with wide eyes. “Where are you going?”

“I’m just gonna put my stuff in my van before I forget.” His ears perked towards her, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air again. “Whatcha got there?”

“Cinnamon rolls. I woke up craving them this morning. I hope you don’t mind.” She pushed an ear over her shoulder, looking sheepish.

He’d made her feel awkward last night and she was still worried about what he liked? How was she even real? “‘Course not. I like ‘em, too.”

She let out a little sigh of relief, her ears perking again. “Oh, good. I’m also frying up some protein for you.” She turned her attention to the stove, and he could hear sizzling now. “Sorry I don’t have anything else for you. I don’t keep a lot of eggs around.”

“The protein is great, thank you.” Inari, how self-sacrificing was this rabbit? He shook the thought out of his head and opened the door to step outside.

It was warmer today, a clear sign that summer was on its way. He went over to his van, throwing his stuff in before locking it up and heading inside. He went over to the doe, trying not to be too awkward as he stood behind her. “Want me to set the table again?”

She paused, then slowly turned her head to look at him. “If you don’t mind, that would be nice.” She got out the plates and cutlery again, handing them down to him. 

He made quick work of setting the table, debating on whether or not to have them seated farther apart before deciding against it. It really was easier to pass things between them if they were closer. He ignored the way the thought made his ears feel warm. Instead, he went over to the kitchen again.

Angelica handed him a mug of coffee with a soft smile. “I remembered how you like it. I hope that’s not too weird.”

“Nah,” he shook his head before taking a sip. The portions were perfect. She must have been paying attention. Again, he pretended like it didn’t make the skin under his fur turn pink. He took another sip, closing his eyes as the warmth spread through him. This was nice, though he had to admit that he was looking forward to drinking caffeinated coffee again.

The bunny made quick work with the protein and carried it and the cinnamon rolls over to the table, along with the coffee. She set them down then went to get the sugar and creamer and a mug for herself. She sat down at her place at the table and waited for Finn to get settled before she said her prayer to Frith and got two rolls for herself.

Finn took two himself and some protein before digging in. The inside of the rolls were soft and warm, the icing sweet but not too much. He glanced over at Angie, watching for a moment as she pulled her rolls apart and ate them in little pieces. He focused back on his own food, making quick work of it all. The urge to try to speak to her was strong, but he didn’t feel like it was the right moment yet. And besides, what if she didn’t want to talk about it? What if she preferred to pretend like it hadn’t happened? He could understand that, though for some reason it made his stomach feel heavy. He suddenly lost his appetite, though he made himself finish the last of his food. He didn’t want to be wasteful.

After they finished eating, he did the dishes while she put away the leftover rolls. When it was all done he looked over at her. “Judy told me last night that her and Nick are gonna be by sometime in the afternoon to visit before we go.”

“Oh, okay. That’s nice. I didn’t really get to say goodbye.” She rubbed her arm, not making eye contact. “I felt kind of bad about that.”

“I don’t think anyone is gonna be mad at you for that,” he said quickly, then clamped his mouth shut. Gods damn it, why were his lips so loose lately??

She looked at him out of the corners of her eyes, her pale blues apprehensive. “You don’t think so?”

He quickly shook his head. “No.”

It was quiet between them for a moment, and the weight of it settled heavy on him. Finn cleared his throat, looking away from her and stuffing his paws in his pockets.

“So,” he started, scuffing his foot against the floor, “what do you usually do on Sundays?”

There were a few more seconds of silence before she spoke. “Rest. Get myself mentally ready for the upcoming week.”

He glanced up at her, unable to help his curiosity. “How do you do that?”

She shrugged, crossing her arms. “Different things. Sometimes I do cross stitching, other times I read.” She glanced into the living room, nibbling on her bottom lip. “And sometimes...I play the piano.”

“You have one here?” He looked into the living room, his ears perked curiously.

“Yeah. I keep it covered, to keep it from getting dust on it and to keep the keys clean.”

He looked over at her, trying to appear casual. “Why don’t you play something?”

She started, wringing her paws together. “Oh, gosh, no, I-I wouldn’t want to bore you.”

“You won’t.” He took a step towards her, though made sure to still keep his distance. “I’d love to hear you play.”

Why had he used that word? Ugh.

She looked down at him, making direct eye contact for the first time since last night. “Are you sure?” She seemed nervous, yet...excited, maybe? 

It made his heart jump. “Yeah. Been a long time since I listened to someone play.”

“It’s been a long time since I had such a small audience.” She started to make her way into her living room, and he was quick to follow. She went over to the mantel, and he noticed a big blanket-covered mass. She gripped it and pulled it aside to reveal a shiny black piano. The keys were snow white and jet black, and the seat was tucked under.

Angelica ran her fingertips gently over the top of the piano before reaching down to press down on a single key. The note rang out, loud and perfectly tuned. She smiled, softly. The look in her eyes was so gentle...fond, reminiscent…

“Did your husband like to hear you play?” Finn found himself asking, then went stiff when he realized that he had asked yet another invasive question.

The doe just nodded, pressing another key. “He did. We didn’t always have a lot of time for it, but when we could he did like to listen. He actually bought me this, as a wedding gift. It’s one of my most treasured possessions.” She looked at him, hesitant again. “You don’t have to listen if you don’t want to, you don’t need to placate me if it’ll bore you.”

“I’m not placatin’ you, Ange,” he told her, his red eyes meeting her pale blue. “I want to hear you play. Honest.”

She held his gaze, and in those few moments he realized just how vulnerable she was making herself to him. Those baby blues held so much emotion; fear, longing, reserve, desire. It was easy to forget just how alone she had been for so long, how isolated and lonesome she must have felt. She went from having a loving husband and supporting family to...nothing. And he suddenly realized that he ached to know why. It was none of his business and he shouldn’t have cared, but he did. To be in that much pain…

He understood.

Slowly, she nodded. “Okay.” She pulled the seat out from under the keys and sat down, her paws running over the keys before starting to press a few as a warm up. The sound was strong and sure, still perfectly tuned and ready to be played. 

Finnick went over to her couch and pulled himself onto it, sitting down and angling himself against the armrest so he could see her face as she played.

The piece she started with was simple, but the way she played it, the expression on her face...it made his heart hurt, made him want to reach out and touch her, hold her, tell her that everything would be okay. But...he didn’t. He couldn’t move a muscle, so enthralled in watching her play. The music built and built, and he waited for the climax to wash around him. Instead, it ended the same way it began, slow and sad. The music was so sad, and the end left him with a sense of uncertainty.

_ Fuck. _

She went right into the next piece, which had the same feel as the first. Simple, sweet, yet filled with a kind of melancholy that made him question if it would ever have a happy conclusion. The next piece was the same, along with the one after that. And through it all, his eyes never left her face. Her eyes were closed, her brows drawing together in some parts, while relaxing on others. Her mouth was slightly turned down at the corners, and he swore he saw her chin quiver every now and then. She played with such intensity and passion that it almost made him feel like he was intruding.

“What artist is this?” he asked her, needing to break the silence so he could breathe.

“Yiruma,” Angelica murmured, still playing. “He’s a mole from Nihon. I’ve watched him a lot on EweTube. He’s very talented.” Her fingers flew across the keys with practiced grace, and she finally opened her eyes. “Billy surprised me with a book of his songs our last Christmas together. I never played any until after he died, though.” Her paws slowed, the expression in her eyes pained. “I wish I had played them for him before...well, you know.” The music came to a stop as her paws halted on the keys. There was silence for a few moments before she spoke again. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I keep dumping all of this on you, it’s not my place--”

“Hey, hey, no,” Finn interrupted her, hopping off the couch and going to stand by her bench. “You don’t need to apologize, okay? We all gotta get shit out sooner or later.”

She glanced down at him, those pale blues filled with so much pain. For just a second, he wished he could take it all away and put it on himself. Such a fucking sappy thing to think, but how could he not when she looked so sad?

“I don’t mind. Honest,” he insisted, instinctively reaching out to her.

Against all odds, she reached down to take his paw in hers. She was quiet again for a bit before she whispered, “I still owe you a truth.”

_ Fuck. _ He swallowed hard, his heart in his throat. “I’m so sorry, I was drunk and I had no right--”

“Please.” She gave his paw a squeeze, her eyes soft as she looked at him. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t upset me, I promise. I was just a little surprised. Besides,” she looked away, visibly gulping, “it’s probably about time that I told someone.”

“Why me?” he asked, his eyes wide as he searched her face. “Why not someone in your family? Why not Judy?”

Her response was a lot more simple than he had expected. She looked at him with a shrug and a small smile. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers about these kinds of things. You’re not biased, so maybe I’m hoping you’ll have a more fair opinion.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m biased towards you,” he told her, one corner of his mouth lifting in an attempt at humor.

It seemed to work, since she chuckled quietly. “Maybe that’ll help, I don’t know. I just…” She breathed deeply. “I need to get it out. I need someone to know.” Then her eyes were on his, desperate. “But you can’t tell anyone. No one knows. No one. Not even Judy. And I need it to stay that way.”

Shit, she really had that much trust in him? A stranger, someone she had only known for a few days? Knowing that made him feel warm inside, though he quickly shoved that down. He nodded, giving her paw a squeeze. She still hadn’t let go of his… “It will. I promise.”

She nodded back, slowly. “Okay.” Her paw left his, and he ignored the odd ache that left behind. Instead, he focused on her as she smiled and spoke again. “But first, would you like to have some lunch?”

Finn nodded with a chuckle. “Yeah. Lunch sounds good.”

* * *

Half an hour later they were outside on her porch with sandwiches and some chips. They were sitting on the rocking chairs this time, as opposed to the night before when they had been on the steps. Angelica had gotten bottles of water for them, insisting they needed to hydrate after drinking heavily last night. Finn had agreed, wondering if Nick and Judy were wanting him to drive back to the city that evening. Part of him hoped not, seeing as his head still hurt some and he wasn’t sure if driving was a good idea. The other part of him hated the thought of anyone other than him driving his van. Sheila was his baby, one of the only things he had left from the old days.

The meal was relatively quiet, with only sparse conversation about the weather and some recent events. It didn’t take them long to finish eating, and after there were a few minutes of silence as they drank their water and listened to the sounds of the country around them.

“I’m gonna miss this,” Finn admitted to the doe, staring at the fields of lavender. “The quiet. It’s always so fuckin’ loud in the city, no matter where you go.”

“That’s part of why I’ve stayed here,” Angelica admitted, sipping her water. “After Bill died, my dad asked me if I wanted to keep the house or move somewhere else. I contemplated it, but in the end I couldn’t bear to leave. This is my house, my home. How could I give it up?”

“Whose idea was the lavender?” he asked her.

“Bill’s. He thought it would help soothe me when I got anxious or upset.”

“Does it?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. It’s hard to tell nowadays if it’s actually calming or if I’ve just become numb to everything.”

He glanced her way, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “That’s kinda sad.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She looked at him with a grim half smile. “But it’s my fault. I brought all of it on myself.”

“I don’t believe that,” he argued, his brow furrowing.

Angelica sighed, setting her water on the side table. Her paws reached up to push her ears down her back, and he noticed that they were trembling. “It’s true, though. I knew what would happen, but I still...I just…” She groaned, rubbing her face with her paws. She was quiet for a few moments before she looked up, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Her pale blue eyes stared out at the fields, though he was sure that she was much farther away.

Once again, the urge to reach out and touch her nearly overwhelmed him, but he managed to stomp it down, remaining still.

It took a minute or two before she started to speak. “I’m the one who introduced Alec to Elyza. He showed up ten years ago, right in time for the Carrot Days festival. I had been with Billy for nearly four years, everyone knew that we were going to get married.” She frowned, so deep that it was almost a scowl. “Everyone except Alec.

“He came up to me,” she went on, rubbing her paws together. “I was shocked, because he was very obviously flirting. No buck other than Bill had ever even tried to make any attempt at flirting with me before. I was flattered, how could I not be? Here was this handsome new buck in town, looking dapper and dignified, and he was flirting with me. Me! The Amazon doe. But,” she hesitated, biting one side of her lower lip, “something felt...off. It didn’t feel genuine. I just got bad vibes off of him. And I’m not stupid, I know that rabbits sometimes try to get with us because of who our family is. If you marry into the Hopps, you have money. It felt like that’s what was going on, so I ducked out as quickly as I could. I went over to my sisters, Judy and Elyza and Natalie. They asked who that handsome buck I was talking to was, and I told them. Then Lizzie looked at us and giggled and said ‘I call dibs on this one’.”

She paused, her paws gripping her arms tightly. “I should have said something then. I should have warned them, told them about the feeling he gave me. But Lizzie looked at me with those big green eyes, so full of hope and adoration, and I just…” She sniffed, suddenly blinking rapidly. “I couldn’t tell her. I didn’t want to let her down. So I told her to wait there, and I went and got Alec. I introduced them, and they got together that night. Lizzie was only seventeen then.”

“How old was Alec?” Finn asked, quiet.

Angelica frowned, turning her head away from him a bit. “Twenty one. That alone should have been a warning sign. Why was someone his age going after a teenager? Granted, it’s not uncommon in our culture, but still!” She sighed and shook her head.

“Anyways,” she went on, “my parents told Elyza that they wanted her to graduate first before she got married. Alec insisted that he didn’t mind waiting, that it gave him time to get into the town’s politics and potentially get elected into the city council. He told us that’s why he moved there, he wanted to be a politician and he knew that starting in a little town would be easier than trying to shoot his shot in the city first thing. It all sounded sketchy to me, but again I just didn’t have the heart to say anything so I kept quiet. Stupid,” she whispered, fiercely. “If I’d just said  _ something _ …”

Again, he had to push down the urge to reach out to her. Instead, he just nodded to show that he was still listening.

“They got married after Lizzie graduated from high school,” she went on. “It wasn’t even a day after the wedding that the first rumors of his infidelity started. Someone said that he’d slept with one of the bridesmaids before the ceremony. There was no way to prove it, so my poor sister just turned the other cheek. She had their first litter not long after.” She smiled bitterly. “They actually got married because he’d gotten her pregnant. My father had insisted on a shotgun wedding, almost literally.”

Finn blinked at this new information. “Your father has a shotgun?”

Angelica nodded, chuckling softly at his surprise. “He doesn’t use it often, he doesn’t have any reason to. He says it just makes him feel better to have it, in case he ever needs it.”

He tried to picture Stu Hopps with a shotgun, but the image that he conjured up was just so ridiculous that all he could do was shake his head. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“You’re fine,” she told him, then continued on. “Their first litter was the one that Johnny was in. He’s been their only boy out of the twelve she’s had. There’s been whispers for years that that’s why Alec keeps sleeping around on her, he’s trying to have another son. There are constantly rumors about him sleeping with one doe or another. But Lizzie never listens, always ignoring or insisting that it’s not true. You can tell that she so badly doesn’t want to believe anything bad about him, and it makes me sick.” She scowled again, fury in her eyes. “To think of the things he must be putting my baby sister through…”

The tall doe shook her head and sighed, reaching up with one paw to smooth the fur on the top of her head down. “I stayed out of it as much as I could. I just kept my head down and minded my own business. I didn’t want to get caught up in any drama. Bill and I had such a peaceful life with just the two of us, I didn’t want to ruin that. But then…”

Her head lifted, her eyes full of pain. “Then he died, and my whole world shattered. We had been together for so long, I forgot how to be myself without him. He was my everything, and suddenly I felt like I had nothing. I was so lost, and so alone. It felt like no one could ever understand what I was going through, like no one could understand my grief.”

She glanced his way before turning her eyes back to the lavender. “That’s when the first letter arrived.”

His ears perked up. “Letter?”

She nodded, her expression apprehensive. “From Alec. It was the day after Billy’s funeral. The letter said how sorry he was for my loss, that he understood what I was going through because he had lost his parents in a terrible accident before he had moved to the burrows. He said that if there was anything I needed, to let him know. He said that he was there for me, that he wanted to support me in any way he could.” She shook her head, lowering her gaze. “I know it was stupid, but I so badly wanted to believe him. I wanted someone I could talk to, someone who understood and could empathize with me. So I wrote back, telling him how grateful I was and how happy I was to have someone in this hard time. That’s all it was at first, just two animals sharing in what I thought was shared grief. All I wanted was a confidant, and I thought I finally had one…

“Then the letters got...I don’t know any other way to put it than ‘flirty’.” She rubbed her paws together anxiously. “He started calling me pet names, like ‘dear’ and ‘sweetheart’. He started to say that I was beautiful, and that someone as pretty as me needed to find things to be happy about. I wanted it to be innocent, so I kept ignoring it even though the pit in my stomach grew bigger and bigger with every letter I got. Then, in one of his last letters, I noticed something. I didn’t know if it really meant anything or if I was just being paranoid, but it made me panic. He’d written ‘my dearest Angelica’, but with a comma after ‘dearest’. It was ‘my dearest, Angelica’.”

Her paws were trembling as she gripped her elbows again. “I sent him a letter back asking him what he meant by that, if he understood what that could mean and how Elyza might take it if she ever saw that. I told him that he needed to be more careful with his words, that they could be construed as something more than what he had meant. There were only two more letters after that, and then it just stopped. For nearly a month, I didn’t hear from him at all. I figured that he must have realized what he was doing and decided to stop, for Lizzie’s sake. I felt so much better after, thinking that I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Until…”

“...until?” Finn prompted her, softly. It wasn’t his business to pry, but she was already this far into the story.

“It happened at the end of that month,” Angelica said, her voice shaking. “I was out sweeping my porch one day, and Elyza’s truck came flying into my driveway. She got out and almost ran over to me, and I remember that I was so scared that something had happened to her or one of the kits. I started to step off my porch to ask her what was wrong, and…” One of her paws reached up to touch her face. “She slapped me. Hard. Hard enough to send me back onto the steps. Then she got in my face and started screaming at me, asking how I could do this to her and who did I think I was. I was so confused, I didn’t know what she meant, and when I told her so she slapped me again.” She swallowed, hard. “She told me that she’d caught Alec packing his things that morning, getting ready to leave her. She told me that he had told her everything, about how we’d been having a secret affair for months and how I had convinced him to run away with me. But that wasn’t true!” Tears started to fall down her face, and she quickly reached up to fiercely rub them away. “I would never do that! Ever! Especially to one of my sisters! But she wouldn’t listen, she just kept screaming at me. She told me to stay away from her and her kits, to stay away from Alec. She told me that she never wanted to see me again. Then she turned and got in her truck and drove away.

“I remember I just stayed on my porch for what seemed like hours,” she whispered, lifting her paws to cover her eyes. “At some point I managed to get back inside, and I went to my bedroom and curled up on my bed. I don’t think I moved until the next morning.”

In that instance, Finnick found himself wishing that he could turn back time so he could take his bat and crush in that fucking dickwad’s head at the party. The rage he felt at even thinking about the stupid fucking smirk Alec had had on his face when he looked at Angelica made him see red, and he bit his tongue to hold back the curses rising in his throat. He had to take a moment to calm down, not wanting to scare her. She had shared something so sensitive with him and he didn’t want her to think that he was mad at  _ her _ . He couldn’t say what he really wanted to say, so instead he said, “And that’s why you’ve stayed away from your family? For your sister’s sake?”

She didn’t speak, just nodded, wiping at her eyes and lowering her paws to her lap. 

“Why haven’t you told anyone else?” he asked, looking up at her. “Do you think that your family would believe that?”

“No, of course not,” she shook her head.    
  
“Then why--”

“Because Elyza needs that support, not me.” Angelica looked at him, an intense fear in her eyes. “If he really managed to convince her that I would do that, who knows what other lies he’s been feeding her! The kind of mental and emotional a-and maybe even physical abuse that she’s had to endure over the years, all as a way for him to make her stay with him.” Tears were starting to well in her eyes again, and she lifted a paw to wipe at them. “If she ever leaves him, she’s going to need our family’s support, and she’ll never get it if they know what she did, what she said to me. Our parents love us, but ever since they changed they’ve had a ‘no tolerance for abuse of any kind’ rule. If they knew what she did, they would have disowned her, and I will not do that to her. Not when she’s being abused and needs the help.”

“And what if she never leaves him?” he argued, scowling. “What then, Angelica? Will you just go the rest of your life being miserable?”

“If that’s what it takes to help Lizzie, then yes.” She sat up, one paw clenched over her chest. “I love my siblings more than anything in this life, and I will choose their happiness and well being over mine every single time, Finnick. I was in the first litter. It’s my duty as their older sister to make sure that they’re taken care of.”

“Sweet Inari.” Finn leaned towards her, finally reaching out. “That doesn’t mean you have to be alone, Ange! You need someone in your life, someone you can confide in. That’s too much to be puttin’ on yourself. It’s not healthy.”

The tall doe stared at him, at his offered paw. “So...what? Are you offering to be that?”

Was he? Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah...I guess so.”

“Why?” Her eyes wide, guarded, and once again it was like looking into a fucking mirror.

“Because I get it.” He was honest with her. There was no reason to not be, especially now that he knew everything. “I was exactly where you are months ago when your sister first got a hold of me. She helped pull me out of that dark place. I owe her everything. And now, I wanna be that for you. I  _ want _ to help, Ange. This ain’t obligation or guilt, I really want to help. Honest.”

She looked back and forth, from his eyes to his paw, for what felt like centuries. Then, slowly, surely, her paw reached over to take his. Their fingers threaded together, and it felt so right that his heart leaped in his chest. The smile she gave him was so happy that it nearly made him cry out. Angelica nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”

He shook his head, ecstatic. “Don’t thank me. Seriously. I’m happy to do this.”

Her expression was so soft that it made his heart skip a beat. Her paw in his was warm and the look in her eyes was drawing him in, and before he knew it he was starting to learn towards her and he knew that he should stop, but he swore that she was doing the same and his heart was trying to beat out of his chest and holy shit.

_ What am I doing, what is happening, I can’t do this but oh gods what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK! Stop! Stop! But...holy shit-- _

Then suddenly there was the sound of a car pulling up the house, and it snapped him out of whatever haze he’d been in. He jerked back, almost panting, but couldn’t bring himself to let go of her paw. This wasn’t her fault, he was the dumbass who had almost--he shook that away.  _ Not now. _

Thankfully she seemed to understand, since she gave his paw a soft squeeze and was the one to pull away. It was only when he noticed that her paws were trembling that it even occurred to him that maybe she’d felt...whatever that was, too. Holy shit.

But he didn’t have time to dwell on it because out of the truck came Nick and Judy. He recognized the driver as one of Judy’s brothers from her litter. They talked to him for a bit before waving, and as he drove off the gray bunny bounded over to them with a huge smile on her face. 

“Finn! Angelica!” Judy wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, then let go and did the same to her sister. “I’m sooooo sorry we didn’t come sooner!”

“It’s alright, little bug,” Angelica assured her sister, leaning down to peck the top of her head. “You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

Nick made his way over to the porch, going over to stand by Finnick. The red fox raised an eyebrow at him. “Hey. You okay?”

Finn nodded, unable to take his eyes away from the tall doe. His heart was still pounding in his chest, but it didn’t feel...bad. “Yeah. I’m good.”

* * *

They all went into Angelica’s kitchen, sitting around her table. After being offered some snacks and refreshments, Nick and Judy got them caught up on everything that they missed. From what he heard, Finnick was glad that he hadn’t been there. Sweet Inari.

“--so after Elyza managed to get Alec back into his car to leave, her kits were crying and refusing to get back into her truck,” Judy was saying as she wrapped her paws around a glass of lemonade. “My dad was still yelling, telling her that he wanted her to leave Alec right now and stay with them, while my mom was yelling at  _ him _ for yelling at Elyza, and it was just a huge mess.” The bunny sighed, picking up the glass and taking a sip.

“I’m still surprised I was able to hold Stu back,” Nick said, keeping his arm on the back of Judy’s chair. “Old buck has got a lot of life in him still.”

“Then the yelling kept going until this morning,” Judy continued, looking between Angelica and Finn. “They were just going on and on, dad saying how much he hated Alec and wanted Elyza to leave him, while mom was yelling that doing that would only push Elyza further away from them and not help her one bit. Then my brothers and sisters were throwing in their two cents and it really wasn’t helping, it only fanned the flames.”

Angelica groaned, resting her forehead on one paw. “I’m so sorry, Judy. This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have gone--”

“Hey!” Judy and Finnick interrupted her in sync. The two blinked at each other, and Finn felt the insides of his ears heating up at the brow the rabbit raised at him. Gods damn it.

Judy shook it off and turned to her sister, reaching across the table to place her paw on hers. “You were the one I invited, Angie. Mom and dad are the ones in the wrong for even inviting Elyza, they know that wherever she is Alec is bound to show up.” She huffed and then patted her sister’s paw. “This isn’t on you. Okay? I’m the one who should be saying sorry to you for not checking with them before the party.”

“That’s not your job, little bug,” Angelica argued, placing her other paw on top of Judy’s. “I’m the one who should have checked instead of just showing up.” She looked over at Nick, guilt consuming her gaze. “And I’m so sorry I ruined your party, Nick.”

“You didn’t ruin it, Ange,” the red fox assured her, shaking a paw. “It was that douchebag, Alec. What does your sister even see in him?”

“Hell if I know,” both Judy and Angelica answered, then grinned and giggled at each other.

Finn just smiled at it all, leaning his cheek on his paw as he watched them all interact with each other. Flopsy seemed like she felt better, with her eyes all alight as she and Angelica traded stories about how things had been for each of them. Nick was watching them as well, his eyes soft as he gazed at Judy. Finn chuckled under his breath and shook his head. The kid had it bad. Oh well, they had plenty of time to get that shit sorted out.

It was time to go much sooner than he thought, and as he helped them load their stuff into his van he couldn’t help but feel a little...reluctant. His time here had been so peaceful, almost like a dream. There was a tiny ache in his chest at the thought of having to go back to the noise and smell of the city after being out here. But he knew that he had a life to go back to, a job and a family. Still...he would miss it out here. Maybe he should come visit soon…

Nick and Angelica exchanged quick hugs, with the red fox taking her paw in both of his. “Thanks for everything, Angie. I wish we could have had more time to hang out.”

“Maybe next time,” the tall doe told him with a smile. “You keep taking care of my sister, you hear?”

“Of course. Someone has to make sure she stays out of trouble.” Nick laughed even as Judy slapped his arm.

The gray bunny shook her head at her partner before turning to her sister, her violet eyes bright. “You should come visit us in Zootopia this summer! It could be good for you to get away from here for awhile.”

“I’ll think about it,” Angelica promised, reaching out and pulling her sister into a tight hug. “Don’t be afraid to call me if you ever need anything, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise.” Judy gave her a squeeze before letting go, her eyes misty. “Please think about coming to see us. Please.” Then she took Nick’s paw and led him over to the van.

Which left Finnick and Angelica alone once more. He shook his head, stuffing his paws into his pockets and kicking at the grass. “Thanks again. For everything.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.” She knelt down, and he looked at her. Her pale blues were warming as she gazed at him. “You let me spill my guts out to you. Not a lot of animals here would tolerate that. So, thanks.”

His heart was pounding against his ribcage and it was taking everything into him to not grab onto her. Holy shit, if only he could take her with him… “I mean, you let me do the same.”

“We both know it’s not the same.” She reached into her pocket, taking out her phone and handing it to him. “I know this might seem a little forward, but would it be okay for me to text you sometimes?”

His heart was in his throat as he nodded eagerly, doing his best to not snatch her phone as he took it. “Yeah, that’d be fine. Like I said, I wanna be there for ya.” He quickly went to her contacts and put his number in, hoping his paws weren’t noticeably trembling as he handed it back to her.

Angelica smiled wide at him and she stood up straight, pocketing her phone. She looked over at the van, then back at him. “You should go. They look like they’re eager to get out of here.”

Finn looked to his van, seeing Nick and Judy waving at him from the front seat. Little shits. He looked back at her, stuffing his paws in his pockets again. He swallowed hard before speaking. “She’s right, you know. You should come to the city this summer. It could be good for you to get away for awhile.”

“Yeah...maybe.” She didn’t look at him as she crossed her arms, and he panicked for a second thinking he’d crossed a line. But then her lips split in a soft smile and he almost sighed in relief. “You’d better be off now, little fox.” She glanced down at him, her eyes twinkling playfully.

He chuckled and shook his head. “See you around, Amazon.” Then he turned and headed to his van. He opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat, turning the engine on and backing up to turn it around. Right before he turned onto the road, he saw Angelica waving from her porch, a huge smile on her face while her eyes seemed melancholic.

_ Fuck. _

As he got onto the road, both Nick and Judy had shit eating grins on their faces. 

“So?” Nick started, leaning back.

“What did you two while you were alone?” Judy teased, leaning towards him.

Finn just shook his head, focusing on the road. “Nothing. Just talked.”

"About?" she urged, her eyes wide and eager.

He just shook his head, grinning. "Secrets, Flopsy." And as they started driving further away, the small ache in his chest grew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is now some artwork in chapter 8, if you guys would like to go check that out! come chat with me on Twitter if you'd like, and i will see you all in the next update!


	11. Like a Hoop of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is back home from Bunnyburrow and it's changed him for better or worse. But when Marian brings up an old memory he isn't sure is real, he has to go talk to the one animal who he thinks hates him the most -- his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to my grandfather.
> 
> if you don't follow me on Twitter or Tumblr, then you don't know that my grandfather died of COVID yesterday afternoon. 6 years ago, his doctors told us that his Parkinson's would only give him maybe 6 more months to live. for YEARS he defied the odds and kept going, only to be taken out by this horrible virus. friends, i am begging you on hands and knees to PLEASE take this seriously. wash your hands, stay inside when you can, and WEAR A FUCKING MASK. do NOT treat this like it's nothing, because it's not. my grandfather made it SIX YEARS from what his original death prediction was only to get wiped out by this virus. it's real. it's not fake. PLEASE take it seriously so that no one else like my grandfather has to die. please.
> 
> it probably goes without saying that i am going to be taking a break after this chapter. i don't know if i have the mental capability to put out a chapter next month. but i will try to put one out in December, probably on my birthday (December 15th) to celebrate this fic's one year anniversary. please take care of yourselves. and give your grandparents a hug for me.

Going back to the city after his weekend in Bunnyburrow felt like waking up from a good dream only to realize it wasn’t real. The smells of the city immediately hit Finnick’s nose when they drove back in, which made his lip curl up. Traffic was crazy, and it took them longer than he would have liked to get back to the apartment once they got into Savanna Central. He had briefly worried about where he was going to stay, but both Nick and Judy insisted that he keep staying with them until he found housing for himself. Normally he would have protested it, but he was so damn tired that he just let it be. It didn’t take him long to pass out on the couch that night. He dreamed of sunny lavender fields and soft blue eyes.

Thankfully, work wasn’t too bad in the following days. Night shifts were easy for him, considering that he was a nocturnal mammal by nature. It was late April, so the restaurant tended to stay steady but not crazy busy. He enjoyed his new position as bartender, able to make any drink that could be ordered. The patrons seemed to like him, tipping him well enough that his financial situation was starting to be even better than it had been conning animals. All in all, life was going pretty well for him.

He hadn’t heard from Angelica, though. It was getting harder to pretend that he wasn’t worried about her, and that he didn’t miss her. No one had ever made him feel so at ease, so at home before.

Well, except for Marian. Who, he realized, he owed a visit to. So, on his next day off, he got in his van and drove his happy ass to Happytown to visit with the vixen.

Of course she was happy to see him, inviting him in eagerly with promises of tea and cookies. The place was clean as usual, and he forced himself to not compare it to Angelica’s house. Once she had him seated at her table with refreshments, Marian started asking him about how the visit had gone.

“Nicholas and Judy already told me how it went for them, poor dears,” Marian lamented, sipping her tea. “Not to be harsh, but I’m glad I decided to stay here. It sounds like it was dreadful.”

“It wasn't all bad,” Finn mused, munching on a cookie. Chocolate chip, his favorite. “The party itself was pretty fun. And Judy’s ma sure knows how to cook.”

“Her parents do sound lovely. I hope I get the chance to meet them one day.” The vixen took another sip of her tea before turning her attention to him. “And how about you, Finnegan? They said that you ended up staying with one of her sisters? I do hope you were nice to her.”

“I was! I even mowed her lawn.”

“Good. I didn’t raise you to be a scoundrel.” Marian chuckled at her own joke.

Finn rolled his eyes at her but couldn’t keep the grin off of his face. “She was nice, Ma. You’d like her.”

“Then I hope I get to meet her, too.” Her smile was warm in that motherly kind of way, and it sent a pang of longing through his chest.

Shoving that aside, Finn asked, “So what did you do while we were gone? Clean the house?”

“I do more than cook and clean, Finnegan.”

“I know, it’s just a joke.” He leaned his cheek on his paw, leaning forward a bit. “But really, what did you do?”

Marian was quiet for a bit, stirring her tea with a spoon. Her mouth set in a firm line and she spoke. “I went to visit your father.”

He felt like he’d been slapped. Finn jerked away, his ears going to lay back. “Pop? Why?”

“Well, someone has to see how he’s doing. Especially since his own son won’t go to see him.” Her amber eyes were sharp as she looked at him.

His own narrowed at her, and he had to swallow down a growl. “I ain’t got any reason to see that old bastard, Marian.”

She rolled her eyes at him with an exasperated huff. “For goodness sakes, Finnegan, he’s your father--”

“That old tod don’t give a shit about me,” he snapped back, slamming his paws down on the table. “I’m sure he’s happy to be away from me.”

“Watch your tone, young tod.” Her tone was sharp, leaving no room for protest. “You will not speak to me that way in my own house.”

His ears went flat on his head and he looked away in shame. “Sorry, Ma.”

A paw was laid over his, and he looked up to see the vixen staring at him with love and concern. “I know you may not believe it, Finnick, but your father does love you. Everything that he’s done, he’s done for your sake.”

Finn scowled, pulling his paw out from under hers. “Maybe I’d believe that more if he just showed it a little. That old bastard shoved me away right after my ma died, Marian. He barely even looked at me. He probably hates me.”

The look on her face after he spoke was...unexpected. Her brows furrowed, and the expression on her face became...perplexed? “Finnegan...do you not remember?”

The hell? “Remember what?”

“The fire.”

“What fire?” The  _ hell?? _

She sat back in her seat, her eyes wide. “You really don’t remember. Oh my.” She looked away, rubbing her cheek as she started mumbling to herself, “I suppose it was quite some time ago, and you were so very young, and I imagine it’s not pleasant to remember…”

“What fire?” What the hell was she talking about? A fire? He didn’t remember any fucking fire, nothing at all. His head was starting to hurt, and he reached up to rub his temples. “Marian, I love you, but I think you’ve gone senile.”

“Finnegan!”

“I’m sorry, but you sound nuts! I don’t remember any fire!” He really didn’t, and this conversation was starting to make his head throb. 

She seemed to understand, and she quickly shook her head. “Never mind that, then. But I really think that you should go see your father. It’s been years.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” His head still hurt, but it was starting to fade now. Thank the gods. “Anyways, what else did you do while we were away?”

* * *

“Hey, Nick?” Finn called to the red fox from the couch.

Nick popped his head out of the bathroom, his toothbrush in his mouth. “Yesh?”

“Do you remember anything about a fire?” Finnick asked him, starting to feel the familiar dull ache in the back of his head again.

Nick went back into the bathroom, and Finn heard him finish brushing his teeth and turning off the sink before he stepped out. The red fox made his way over to the couch, leaning an arm on it. “What about a fire?”

“I dunno, your ma mentioned something about a fire when I was visiting her today.”

“How did it get brought up?” Nick’s head tilted to the side as he looked at him.

“We were talkin’ about my pop and she asked if I remembered a fire.” Finn looked up at his friend, his head pounding again. “You have any idea what she might be talking about?”

Nick shook his head, looking just as confused as he felt. “No idea. Want me to call her later and ask?”

He shook his head, waving a paw at him. “Nah, don’t bother. It must not be that important if I can’t remember.”

“Alright.” Nick yawned and stretched. “Think I’m gonna hit the hay. Night.”

“Night.” Finn watched his friend walk off then turned off the TV and laid back on the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, the ache in his head growing stronger.

_ A fire...what the fuck? _

He sighed and shook his head, turning to lay on his side. His eyes shut tight and he pulled the blanket to his chin. Hopefully things would be better in the morning…

* * *

_ The heat woke him up first. It was so hot, and when he tried to breathe it felt like his lungs were burning. Finnick coughed, rolling out of bed and onto the floor. It was so hot, and the air was filled with smoke. His eyes were watering, and he tried to stumble to the door. “Pop?” He reached up to grab the doorknob only to scream and yank his paw back. It hurt! “Pop!” _

_ “Finnegan!” He heard his father’s voice on the other side of the door, frantic. “Can you hear me?? _

_ “Pop!” He coughed again, ducking his head and trying to wipe at his eyes. “What’s going on?” _

_ “Listen to me, son!” his dad yelled, and Finn could hear him scuffling around on the other side of the door. “I need you to keep yer head down, alright?? Try not to breathe too much!” _

_ “Pop!” It was too hot and the air was so thick right now. “Pop! Help me!” Every cough felt like thousands of knives being stabbed into his lungs. _

_ “Shit, fuck, I’m trying!” There was pounding on the door. “Can you get to the window??” _

_ Finn shook his head, coughing. “I can’t see anything! Pop!” _

_ “Fuck, fuck, nonono!” The pounding grew harder, more frantic. “Finnegan, you stay with me now, okay? Okay??” _

_ “Pop…” It was so hard to breathe, and all he could see was smoke. He fell to his knees, choking on the air. “Pop...help me…” _

_ “No, no! Finnegan! Finnegan!” Something slammed against the door, harder and harder. “Fuck, please, no! Inari! Help me! Finnegan!” _

* * *

“Finn!”

He woke up with a start, gasping. Oh thank the gods, the air was clean and smoke free. He quickly sat up, looking around just to make sure there was no fire. Thankfully, all was well.

Judy was staring at him with wide violet eyes. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, reaching over to take her paw in his.

Nick was standing on his other side, looking down at him with concerned green eyes. “Do you need anything?”

“Water,” Finnick managed to croak out, closing his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.

“You got it, buddy.” He heard Nick scurry off to the kitchen.

Judy pulled him into her arms, and he didn’t dare protest. “Are you sure you’re okay? You haven’t screamed like that in your sleep in a long time.”

He nodded, hugging her back. He felt awful about waking them up, and even more so about worrying them. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He felt her nuzzle the top of his head. 

He pulled away just in time for Nick to come back with a glass of water. He took it from the tod gratefully, forcing himself to take slow sips instead of gulping it down. The cool water felt awesome for his sore throat, though his stomach felt like it was twisted into knots and his head was pounding once again.

That dream...what the hell had that been?

Nick sat down on Judy’s other side, and the two of them just stared at him. He knew that they were waiting for an explanation, and to be honest he wasn’t sure what to tell them. How could he explain when he himself didn’t know what that was about?

_ A fire… _

Finnick took a moment to breathe before looking at them. “You ever have something in the back of your head? Like it’s so close, but you just can’t remember?” 

Nick nodded, but Judy just looked even more confused. “What’s this about?” she asked him, her head tilting slightly.

“Marian mentioned something about a fire yesterday,” Finn told her. “We were talkin’ about my pop and she brought it up. I don’t really know what the hell she was talking about, but...just now, I…”

“Dreamed of a fire?” Nick prompted gently.

Finnick nodded, rubbing his head. “It could just be coincidence, but it just...it felt so...real…”

Judy rested a paw on his shoulder. “Do you have any idea what it means?”

“Not yet,” he shook his head, looking up at her. “But...I think I should go talk to her again. Soon.”

They both nodded. “Do you want us to stay up with you?” Judy asked, rubbing his shoulder gently.

Finn shook his head, gently shrugging her paw off. “Nah. You both gotta work tomorrow, you should get some shut eye.”

“We don’t mind,” she insisted, her eyes huge.

“I’m fine, Flopsy. You need to sleep.”

“But--”

“Carrots, he’s right,” Nick interrupted her. “You need rest. Gods know you run yourself silly most days.”

“My boys turned against me,” she protested, though one side of her mouth was lifted with humor. “Alright, alright, I’ll go.” She raised both paws in a sign of submission, then looked over at Finn. “But you promise you’ll come get me if you need me?”

“When do I not promise that?” he teased back, reaching over to shove her playfully. “Now go.”

“Fine, fine, geez.” She rolled her eyes at him, but leaned over to peck his cheek. “Remember your promise.” She hugged Nick then hopped off the couch and headed back to her room.

Nick turned to him again, his head tilted to the side. “You sure you don’t want some company for a bit?”

“Not you, too.” Finn rolled his eyes at the tod, rubbing the back of his neck. “Go to sleep, Red.”

Nick nodded, standing up. He glanced over at Judy’s door then over at Finn. His expression was unreadable. “You guys are pretty close, huh.” He quickly shook his head, shoving his paws in the pockets of his pajama pants and walking off. “Night.”

Huh...that was weird. Finn shook his head, deciding to file it away for another time. He had other things to worry about. He laid back down, throwing an arm over his eyes as his head started to pound again.

_ A fire… _

* * *

During the next week, Finn visited Marian every single day, trying to worm some answers out of her to no avail. The older vixen was keeping her mouth shut, refusing to tell him just what the hell was going on. It was frustrating, and he was starting to lose his patience with her. Her answer to his questions was always the same.

_ “Go ask your father.” _

He hadn’t seen his father in nearly ten years. He’d been put away for bank robbery when Finn was only fifteen, condemned to serve a twenty five year sentence. He’d never forget the look on his father’s face when the judge had given the verdict. He’d looked so resigned...so defeated… It wasn’t like him at all.

Finnick’s paws were trembling as he pulled up to the prison. The building was gray concrete, tiny windows with bars on them lining the sides. There were only three doors on the outside; the entrance, one on the side leading to a huge basketball court, and one on the back for deliveries and laundry. Around the building were tall chain-link fences with sharp looking barbed wire on the tops. He swallowed hard.

Once upon a time, he had resigned himself to one day being put away here. Now, it terrified him to even think about it.

He checked the time on his phone and got out. It was time.

He hadn’t had to experience the process of getting in here in a long time, since he was in his twenties. He had to sign in once he was in the building, get patted down by the guards--it was an embarrassingly fast process, with how small he was and how big the guards paws were--then he was taken to the visiting area to wait for his father. Finn sat at a plain white table, drumming his fingers on it. He hadn’t had a plan when he’d decided to come and he had no idea what the hell he was going to say to him. It had been so long…

His ears perked when he heard the door open, and he turned around to see a guard leading his father in.

Mason Leary gave off the aura of a male that was not to be fucked with. He stood a good head above his son, his face aged and grizzled but no less intimidating. His left ear was torn up, missing parts on the edges, and the right side of his muzzle had a nasty scar that left the canine on that side permanently sticking out. His right paw was missing its pinky finger, and there was what looked to be a permanent tobacco stain on his chin.

But what had always scared Finnick the most were his father’s eyes. Sharp and always alert, rarely ever showing any emotion. Finnick had gotten his eye color from his mother, not his dad. Mason’s golden eyes could pierce the soul of any animal who thought themselves strong and unafraid. He had seen animals much larger cross the road to steer clear of Mason.

The guard gestured towards him, and Mason hesitated for a moment, his brows furrowing. Then his expression was neutral again as he made his way over to the table where his son was waiting. He pulled out the chair across from Finn and sat down in his, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at him. When he spoke, his voice was deep and harsh, slightly on the raspy side.

“The hell you doin’ here.”

It wasn’t a question.

Finn swallowed hard, hoping desperately that his dad wouldn’t notice. “Can’t a kid come see his pop?”

The older fennec raised a brow at him.

Damn, nothing got past him. Finn looked away, his paws fisting on the table. “Marian said that I should come see you.”

“How is she doin’? Still good?”

The corner of Finn’s mouth twitched up. At least his pop still cared about someone. “Yeah, Pop, she’s still good. Real good.”

“You mindin’ her?”

“Yeah, Pop.”

“Good.” Mason looked away from him, his expression unreadable. “You gone to see yer ma lately?”

Finn had to swallow down a lump that formed in his throat, a sharp jolt of guilt going through him. “Not lately.”

“You should,” Mason told him, still not looking at him. “Bring ‘er some flowers, too. She always liked daisies.”

“I know, Pop.”

It was silent between them for a few moments and he felt like he was drowning in it. He spared a glance at his father, his conviction growing weaker by the moment. What the hell had he been thinking when he’d decided to come here? What had he expected? The old tod had been nothing but cold to him for years, of course that hadn’t changed. 

Finn swallowed hard, forcing himself to face Mason. “Hey, Pop?”

“Hm?” The older fennec still wasn’t looking at him.

“I, uh, wanted to ask ya somethin’.”

“What is it?”

Well shit, here went nothing. Finn planted his paws firmly on the table, looking his dad head on. “Do you remember a fire?”

Finally Mason reacted to something. The old tod froze, then slowly turned his head to look at his son. His golden eyes were wide and blinking, looking almost shocked. It was strange to see him like this, and it almost took Finn’s breath away.

“A fire?” Mason blinked at him, his eyebrows raising. “I mean, yeah. What about it?”

Holy shit. Finn’s body suddenly felt heavy and his head was pounding again. It was real. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Mason’s mouth parted slightly, his tone surprised.

He shook his head, feeling the blood draining from his face. “No. Marian mentioned it last week and I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Every time I try to think about it,” one paw raised to rub at his temples, “my head fuckin’ hurts.” He looked his dad in the eyes, searching. “I’m tired of havin’ this stupid headache, Pop. I wanna know what happened.”

It was quiet again for a few moments as the two fennecs stared at each other. Finn’s heart was slamming against his ribcage. Was this it? Was he finally going to get some answers?

Then Mason sat back in his chair, looking away again. Finn could feel his spirits dropping at his next words. “It’s probably for the best that you don’t remember, Finnegan. ‘Sides, it was a long time ago. It don’t matter anymore.”

“Are you serious?” Finn couldn’t help the indignance in his tone. He couldn’t believe this.

“Don’t you fuckin’ talk to me like that.” Mason’s eyes were sharp again as he scowled at his son. “And don’t look at me like that. I’m doin’ you a favor, Finnegan.”

“You’re actually serious. What the fuck, Pop?” Finn leaned towards his father, furious. “I come all the way out here to see you and you pull this again?”

“I don’t owe you shit.” One side of Mason’s lips raised as he growled at his son. “I don’t know what the fuck you expected comin’ out here.”

This was the male that Finnick remembered from his childhood. Hard, cold, always keeping him at an arm’s distance. When he’d fallen and split his knee when he was seven, Mason had told him to get over it and keep walking. When he’d gotten into his first fight at twelve and came home with his face busted up, Mason hadn’t even gotten any ice for him. And when Finn had seen Mason for the first time after he’d gotten arrested for the bank robbery and he’d been terrified of losing his father, the old tod had told him to man up and stop crying like a pussy. 

There had never been any kindness shown to him from his father, never an ounce of tenderness or affection. Not once had there ever been any indication that his father even liked him, let alone loved him. His whole life he’d been desperately trying to win some favor from his father, some approval, only to get nothing for his efforts.

He was so fucking stupid.

“Fuck you,” Finn whispered, his paws balling into fists again.

Mason’s expression turned dark and he leaned towards him, trying to tower over his son. “The fuck you just say to me?”

Not this time. Finn raised his head, snarling back at his father. “I said fuck you, Pop. I don’t know what the hell I expected coming here. You’re the one who never gave a shit about me, you old fuck.” He stood up in his chair, refusing to let his father have any high ground on him. “You’ve never told me anything. You won’t talk to me about this, about my ma dyin’, about the fucking bank robbery--”

“Shut up,” Mason barked, looking around the visiting center almost frantically.

“Oh, so that’s what you care about?” He was starting to get louder and he didn’t care. “The only fucking thing you’ve ever cared about is your reputation, right? Always need to seem like a badass. Old Mason Leary, the one who did the robbery all by hisself--”

“I said shut up!” Mason snapped, slamming his paws down on the table.

“No, you’re gonna fuckin’ listen to me for once in your life!” Finn leaned into the old tod’s face, his heart and head pounding. “You’re nothing but a stupid old tod who shoved his son away and only cared about street cred and money! And you know what, Pop? It doesn’t make you look cool, it only makes you look weak and pathetic and fucking stupid! Because the fact that anyone buys that you pulled that off all by yourself is a load of shit!”   
  
“I  _ said  _ SHUT UP!” Mason stood up on his chair, shoving his son back.

It made Finnick lose his balance, and he cried out as he fell back. The chair screeched against the floor as it flew out from under him, and his head hit the paved floor with a loud crack. Black spots filled his vision and for a hot second he felt like he was going to throw up. He definitely had a concussion.

“Shit, Finnegan!” He heard his father scramble off the chair and his face appeared above his. His paws reached out to grab him. “Fuck, Inari, I’m so sorry--”

He heard footsteps running into the room, heard yelling from the guards. Then there was a thud and he heard his pop grunt along with the distinct sound of handcuffs being locked into place. Finn opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head to watch his pop get pulled to his feet by the guards.

A giant paw reached out to help him, but Finn was quick to slap it away. He stood up slowly, grabbing a chair to help pull himself to his feet. His head hurt like hell and he had to blink away tears that desperately wanted to form. No, he refused to show any weakness around his pop. Not like this.

It was silent for quite some time before Finn found his voice again. “Thanks, Pop. At least I know now that you really don’t give a shit.”

“Finnegan--”

“This was a mistake,” Finnick muttered to himself before letting go of the chair.   
  
“Do you want to press charges?” one of the guards asked him.

“What’s the point?” Finn snapped, glaring up at him. “He’s already here, ain’t he?”

The look on Mason’s face was so...helpless. Maybe even sorry? But Finn couldn’t tell if it was because he had hurt him, or if it was because he’d gotten caught. The look on his face would have been refreshing if it wasn’t like this.

“I hate you,” Finn told him, quiet but firm. “I’ve always hated you, Pop. You mean nothing to me anymore. Cash was more of a father than you ever could be.” He turned away, ready to head for the door. He was done.

But his father’s voice made him stop in his tracks, as did the old tod’s words.

“That’s right, Finn. You remember that hatred and hold onto it. In our world, it’s all we got. Never let them see that they get to you.”

Something inside of him broke, and Finn didn’t even register leaving the room, let alone the building, until he was already sitting inside of his van. It was probably a bad idea to try to drive with a concussion, but he’d be damned if he told anyone about what had just happened. He turned the van on, reveling in the roar of the engine before driving off way from the prison. He had no idea where he was going, he just needed to get away from here.

He tried and failed to ignore the tears streaming down his face as he got farther and farther away from his father.

* * *

Finnick remembered reading somewhere at some point that animals weren’t supposed to sleep after they had a concussion. However, he couldn’t ever remember reading that animals weren’t supposed to get drunk after they had one. 

So that’s exactly what he did that night.

After stopping by the nearest liquor store that he could find and stocking up on the cheapest whiskey and vodka--he found out that they sold carrot vodka in the city too, what the hell--Finn drove out to the far reaches of Savanna Central, on the coast of the Marshlands, and drank himself silly. He wanted to erase all of his feelings, all of the hurt and heartbreak. He wanted to erase the dream he’d had about the fire. He just wanted everything to disappear. So he drank and drank and drank, until the wee hours of the morning. He drank until he couldn’t feel anything anymore. And he stayed there, close to the water, trying and failing to find some peace from the gentle laps of the waves, in the smell of the water.

What he wouldn’t give for it to smell like lavender… 

He called into work the next day, telling them about his concussion though not going into the details of how he got it. Thankfully for him, he had accumulated some sick days and was told to take not only that day off, but the next two just to be safe. Not for the first time he realized just how lucky he had gotten with this job. After that, he’d gone to get some food and more alcohol. 

His phone started buzzing halfway through that first day, with frantic calls and texts from Judy and Nick. Every time their ringtones came on, he forced himself to look away and pretend he didn’t hear it. He knew that he should contact them, let them know that he was okay, but something inside of him wouldn’t let him. Every time he seriously contemplated it, he would just freeze, fear gripping his heart in a tight vice. How could he explain? They could never understand. Their parents loved them, had always looked out for them. They didn’t know what it was like to know that the animals who helped create them hated their very existence. 

In his state of mind, no one could understand that. Not a soul in the world.

He didn’t sleep the next night, either. His body was tired, but the wheels in his head refused to stop turning for even a second. So he drank himself into a stupor again, trying to ignore the exhaustion creeping into his veins.

The phone calls and texts still came in that second day, though not nearly as many. There was a dark satisfaction in him as he started to feel like they were giving up on him. Good. It served him right. All he knew to do was push those he loved far away from him…

Then, something different.

A different ringtone played as his phone buzzed, a different name on the screen. He started down at it with wide eyes.

_ Amazon Doe is calling. _

_ Angelica… _

He could ignore it. He could ignore her call just like he had all the others and keep drinking, keep moping around. But...something inside of him  _ desperately _ wanted to hear her voice again. It hadn’t been that long since he’d left Bunnyburrow, but it felt like a lifetime ago now. And his soul was aching for the comfort that he knew she would give him.

Without another thought, Finn answered the phone, holding it up to his ear. “Hello?”

_ “Hey.” _

Her voice sounded just as sweet as he remembered, and he bit his lip to try to keep from crying out. “Hey.”

_ “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” _

He glanced over at the empty bottles on the ground beside him. “Nah, you’re good.”

_ “Okay, good.”  _ He could imagine her on her sofa or at the kitchen table, playing with one of her ears.  _ “How are you?” _

Finn nibbled on the corner of his lip, contemplating what to say to her. The truth was honestly the easiest. She would call him out on his bullshit if he lied, anyways. “Been better.”

_ “I know.”  _ She sighed softly on the other end of the line.  _ “Judy’s been calling me all day, asking if I’d heard from you.” _

“What did you tell her?”

_ “The truth. That I hadn’t, but I’d let her know if I did.”  _ He could hear her shift a bit.  _ “She says that you haven’t been home in two days. She’s really worried, Finn.” _

His free paw came up to rub at his temples as he groaned softly. “Yeah, I know.” That was another reason he’d been drinking so heavily, trying to repress the guilt at knowing how much he was making Flopsy worry. 

It was quiet for a bit before she spoke again.  _ “I’m not going to tell you to call her. I’m not going to push you. Just...can you answer one thing for me?” _

“Anything.” There must have still been some alcohol in his system with how quickly that had come out.

_ “Are you okay?” _

His first instinct was to insist that he was fine and change the subject. But...this was Angelica. He had shared some of his deepest, darkest secrets with her that night on her porch. She hadn’t judged him, only listened and offered support. And he had done the same for her. They had an understanding now, a bond. It was something different, and maybe stronger, than he had with even Judy. If he could trust anyone, it was her.

Finn shook his head, forgetting for a moment that she couldn’t see him. “No. I’m not.” He leaned forward, pressing a palm to his forehead. “I fucked up, Ange. I really fucked up.”

If she were there with him, he knew that she would have put a paw on his shoulder and drawn him a little closer to her. His heart ached for her touch, her scent, her warmth. But for now, he would settle for the soft concern in her voice as she asked,  _ “What happened?” _

He quickly launched into his tale, starting with his visit to Marian then going to the dream he’d had after. He told her the vague memories of a fire, of the headaches when he tried to search his mind for more. Then he told her about the visit with his dad and how that had gone. More specifically, how  _ bad  _ it had gone.

“I told him that I hate him, Ange,” he moaned into the phone, fighting back tears. “I told him that I’ve always hated him. But I don’t. How could I? He’s my Pop. He’s the only family I got left.” He let out a shuddering sigh, his eyes closed tight. “And I still can’t remember any more about the fucking fire and I just feel so...done. I just wanna curl up in a hole and disappear.”

Her voice was so soft and sweet, so understanding.  _ “Finn, sweetie, listen to me. You need to breathe. Okay? Can you do that for me?” _

He nodded shakily before remembering once again that she couldn’t see him. “Yeah.” 

_ “Deep breaths. Breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four, then let it out for eight. Okay? Can you do that for me?” _

“Yeah.” He followed her instructions, keeping his eyes closed and his head bowed. He did it for a couple of minutes, surprised to find that it was helping his chest loosen up and his mind clear. Holy shit. Was she some kind of miracle worker?

_ “Good, good. You’re doing great, okay? How do you feel now?” _

“Better,” Finn admitted, opening his eyes and staring out at the water. “How’d you do that?”

_ “Practice. I saw a counselor for a while after my husband passed away and she taught me that trick. She said that I ever started having a panic attack and felt like I was drowning, to do that. Every time I did, I felt a lot better. I still do it when I feel like I can’t breathe.” _

“Huh. Handy trick.” A bug landed on his ear and it twitched to get it off. “Thanks.”

_ “I’m happy to help. And to be here for you. It’s what we promised each other, right?” _

“Right.” He closed his eyes, picturing her looking at him sheepishly like he had before. Fuck, he missed her. He almost said so, but quickly swallowed the words down before they could pass his lips. “So, what do you think I should do?”

_ “I can’t tell you what to do, Finn. You have to decide that yourself. But it sounds like maybe you should go see him again and try to talk things out, especially if it’s making you this anxious.” _

It was an obvious answer, but hearing if from someone else really did help. Finn nodded, then almost slapped himself. Inari damn it, she couldn’t see him! “Yeah.”

_ “And Finn?” _

“Yeah?”

_ “For the love of Frith, PLEASE call my sister back. She’s seriously worried out of her mind about you.” _

He winced. “Yeah, I know.” He reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Guess I’m just so used to tryin’ to handle shit on my own.”

_ “You’re not alone anymore, Finn. You have Judy and Nick, and Marian. And...you have me.” _

Her words made his heart skip a beat and he pretended that his ears weren’t burning. “I know.”

_ “Good. Because family isn’t just blood. We’re all your family now, and family looks out for each other.” _

He didn’t know how he felt about her calling him family and he decided to push that to the back of his mind for now. He had other things to worry about. “Yeah, we do.” He pushed himself to his feet, pleased when he didn’t sway. Good, he was sobering up a bit. He glanced at all the bottles and sighed. What a mess. He shook his head and focused back on the doe on the phone. “Thanks for calling, Ange. It really did help.”

_ “I’m glad. And Finn?” _

“Yeah?”

_ “PLEASE get some sleep. It’s been long enough since your concussion.” _

He chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “Yeah, I know. I will. Promise.” He tucked his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he started to gather up all the bottles. “So, what have you been up to?”

Finnick was more than happy to listen to Angelica prattle on about her garden and cleaning her house as he cleaned up his mess. After all, she had listened to him, so it was only fair that he listened, too.

* * *

He arrived back at the apartment by late afternoon. He parked the van in the alley beside the building then walked down the stairs to the door. Time to face the music. He knocked and waited.

The door opened and there stood Judy, her eyes wide and red rimmed. They landed on him and she gasped, her paws flying up to cover her mouth as tears filled her eyes. “Oh gods! Finn!”

“Hey--” he started, but was cut off when the bunny swept him up in an embrace.

“Don’t  _ ever _ do that again!” Judy sobbed into his shoulder as she held him tightly to her.

Finn just nodded, ignoring the fact that she was cutting off his air supply and circulation. “I’m sorry.”

She held onto him for a few more moments before letting him go to wipe at her face. Air sweeped back into his lungs and he could feel the blood flow returning to his arms. Thank Inari. He waited until she looked at him again to speak again. “I’m really sorry, Flopsy. Won’t happen again. Promise.”

“Good. If you do, I’m putting a tracker in your van.” She gave him a watery chuckle, sniffling as she rubbed the back of her paw over her eyes.

He couldn’t tell if she was joking or not, but decided that it wasn’t important right now. “Got it.”

She led him inside and into the kitchen, forcing him to eat and drink some water. After he was done, she then ordered him to go shower because he stunk to high hell. He was too tired to argue with her, and he felt a lot better after he was clean. They then sat on the couch to watch TV together, with Judy keeping one arm around him the whole time.

He must have worried her so much...he would have to make it up to her somehow.

Nick came home later and looked both shocked and relieved to see him again. “Can you warn us next time you decide to be an ass?” the red fox joked as he playfully punched Finnick in the shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that.” Finn rolled his eyes at his friend, but he could see the legitimate concern in Nick’s eyes. He had a feeling that he was going to get a stern talking to later on.

The rest of the night played out as if he had never left. They had dinner, watched the news for a bit, then Judy went to bed. She hugged Nick first then gave Finnick another suffocating hug. “I’m so glad you’re back.  _ Please _ don’t do that again.”

“I won’t,” he promised her, hugging her back. Poor thing.

The bunny pecked his cheek then went to her room, closing the door with a soft click behind her.

It was quiet for a moment then Nick spoke, his tone firm. “She was worried sick, Finn.”

He winced and hung his head with guilt. “Yeah, I know.”

“No, you don’t know.” The red fox looked at him, trying and failing to hide his fury. “She was up for two days, pacing and crying. She was so scared that something had happened to you, that you were hurt or worse. She wanted to file a missing mammal’s report and start hanging up flyers around the city. Nothing I said or did could help her. She  _ loves _ you.” His paws clenched into fists and he let out a shaky sigh. “I couldn’t comfort her...I couldn't make her feel better. I felt so...helpless.”

Guilt settled deep into Finnick’s gullet, and he gulped down a lump that was forming in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“And I was worried too, you know.” Nick glanced at him, his eyes glinting in the light with unshed tears. “All I could think was how was I going to tell my mom if something  _ had _ happened to you. She’s already lost so much over the years…” He swallowed, reaching up to fiercely rub at his eyes. “I kept remembering when dad died, how we stayed up for hours because we had no idea what happened to him…”

He didn’t think he could feel any lower. Finn leaned back into the couch, wishing it would swallow him up. “I’m sorry, Red. I really am.”

Nick nodded, and it was silent between them again. Then, to his surprise, the red fox reached over and pulled him into his chest for a hug. For the third or fourth time, he wasn’t sure, Finnick was the recipient of a squeezing embrace. He couldn’t even remember the last time they had hugged…

Then Nick let him go with a weak shove. “If you do it again, I’m putting a fucking tracker in your van.”

Finn had to laugh at that. “Flopsy threatened to do the same thing.”

“Great minds think alike.” Nick was back to acting like his old self now, seeming nonchalant. The red fox stood up, stretching with a loud yawn. “Okay, I gotta hit the hay. We have an early shift tomorrow.” He looked at Finn. “You work tomorrow?”

Finn shook his head. “Work gave me three days off. Tomorrow’s my last, then I go back.”

“Lucky you.” Nick’s expression turned serious again. “If you need anything, please let us know. Okay?” Then he turned and headed for his room. “Night.”

“Night,” Finn called back. He waited until he heard the door shut before flopping back on the couch. Man, he was beat. He closed his eyes and almost immediately fell asleep.

* * *

_ It was so hot and smokey, and for a split second Finn thought he was going to die. All he could think about was his mom, and how he wasn’t ready to join her yet. He was only six, he was too young to die! Tears formed in his burning eyes and he would have sobbed if not for the smoke burning his lungs. _

_ Then suddenly his door burst open, hanging off of its hinges. His father stood there, wide eyed and panting. “Finnegan!” He dashed over to his son, scooping him up in his arms. “It’s okay, I’m here, Pop’s here!” The older fennec ducked his head, reaching over to snatch a blanket off of his son’s bed and wrapping it around his head. “Hold on, kid, I’m gonna get us out of here!” _

_ Finn just nodded, closing his eyes and wishing that it was over… _

_ \--------------------------------------------------- _

_ When he opened his eyes again, he was in his dad’s van. The air was cool and fresh, and while his head still hurt and his lungs still felt like they were burning, he felt a lot better. He looked over to see his dad driving, the older fennec’s mouth set in a firm line. Finn blinked. “Pop?” _

_ Mason glanced over at him then back at the windshield. “Hey, kid. How you feelin’?” _

_ Finn coughed and rubbed at his eyes. “‘m okay.” He sat up slowly, finding that the blanket was still wrapped around him. It smelled like smoke. He wrinkled his nose at it before looking at his dad again. “Pop?” _

_ “Hmm?” _

_ “What’re we gonna do now?” Their home was gone, lost in the fire. He didn’t have a lot of friends, and it had only been him and his dad for the past year. What was going to happen to them now? _

_ Mason breathed in deep and let it out in a long sigh. “We keep goin’.” _

_ “But our house--” _

_ “We got the van, we’ll be fine.” _

_ “But...we have nothin’.” The thought caused his heart to flutter with fear. _

_ “We were born with nothin’, kid.” Mason scowled out the window. “And we sure as hell have nothin’ now.” He sat up straight, his grip on the wheel tightening. “But we’ll get through it. Just like we always have.” His eyes softened as he glanced at his son again. “It’s what yer ma woulda wanted.” _

_ Finn nodded, settling back into the blanket and letting his eyes close. The last thing he could remember before drifting off was his dad’s rough paw gently stroking over his ears. _

_ “Don’t worry, Finn. I gotcha.” _

* * *

Tears were streaming down his face as he woke up. His heart hurt so much, and he had to bite his lip to keep back the sobs welling in his throat.

_ Pop… _

He sat up, checking the time on his phone. It was very early in the morning, too early to try to stay awake. He knew that he should go back to sleep, but he didn’t want to be alone right now. It just hurt too much…

Without a second thought, he got up and headed for Judy’s room. He hesitated at the door, unsure if this was okay. She had said it was before, but still… He forced those thoughts away and opened the door, stepping inside and closing it behind him. It was dark, but thanks to his natural senses he was still able to see. He silently made his way over to her bed, standing on his tiptoes to peek up at her.

She was sleeping so peacefully, her face relaxed and her chest moving up and down. There was no way in hell that he was gonna wake her up. He turned away and started to head back to the door when he tripped over something, causing him to stumble and curse. Then he heard her shift on the bed and held his breath.

“Mm, Finn?” she muttered sleepily.

“Sorry, Flopsy,” he whispered back, guilt pricking at him.

“No, it’s okay,” she yawned, sitting up. She patted the spot beside her. “‘Mere.”

Finn sighed silently and turned around, going over and climbing up onto her bed, sitting with his back to her. He couldn’t look at her right now…

A gentle paw was laid on his shoulder. “Hey. Are you okay?”

Immediately he shook his head, feeling like he was gonna cry. “No. I’m not.”

“Oh, Finn.” Both of her paws reached out, wrapping around him and pulling him into her. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here.” She curled her body around him, resting her cheek on top of his head. “You’re safe.”

It had been a long time since he felt this protected...this loved. Finn couldn't help but relax into her, letting his eyes close. “Sorry for wakin’ you up.”

“It’s fine, my siblings used to wake me up all the time when they had bad dreams and needed to snuggle.” Judy pulled the blankets over them and he felt her settle against him. “Go back to sleep. Everything’s okay now.”

He nodded and closed his eyes, though he knew that things were far from okay....

* * *

Finn woke up before Judy the next morning. He managed to slip out of her arms without waking her up and tucked the blanket around her. His heart swelled as he looked down at her, and he couldn’t help but reach out and stroke a paw over her ears. She was the best friend he ever could have asked for. He shook his head and climbed off the bed, heading for the door and leaving the room.

He took a quick shower and changed before heading outside to his van. Once in, he drove over to Happytown to see Marian. He parked outside of her house and got out, going over to the door. It opened before he could knock, and the vixen looked down at him with a scowl. “You disappeared again.”

“I know, Ma.”

“Without any contact.”

Finn sighed. “I know, Ma. I’m sorry.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Is there something you want to say to me?”

“Yeah, there is.” He looked up at her, meeting her gaze. “I remember the fire.”

It clearly wasn’t what she had expected. The vixen blinked, her eyes going wide as she stared down at him. “Oh.”

He looked into the house then back up at her. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” She opened the door wider for him.

Finnick stepped inside and Marian closed the door behind them. “Do you want anything? Water, coffee, some breakfast?”

“Coffee sounds nice, thanks.” Finn went over to the dining room table, sitting down at it and taking out his phone. He scrolled through some social media as he waited for her, and soon she brought over two steaming mugs of the black liquid. They both drank in silence for a while before she finally broke it.   
  
“What do you remember?” she asked him, wrapping her paws around the mug.

He told her about his dreams, the little bits that he could remember, though he kept some personal details for himself. “It’s so weird, I don’t understand how I could have forgotten,” he told her, shaking his head.

“It was a very traumatic situation, Finnegan,” she told him, reaching over to place a paw on his shoulder. “And you were very young. Children tend to block awful experiences like that out, it’s natural.”

“But it was such a big thing,” he shook his head, almost clinging onto his mug. “We lost everything in that fire.”

Her paw pulled away from his shoulder, and he looked over to see her nibbling on her lip. Marian glanced at him, tapping a claw on her mug. “Well...not everything.”

He blinked at her. “What?”

Marian sighed, letting go of the mug and standing up from her chair. “Come with me.” Then she turned and headed down the hall.   
  
Finn quickly followed suit, scrambling off the chair and hurrying after her.

She led him into her bedroom. A queen sized bed was pushed against the right wall, with the left having a shelf and dresser against it. There were two doors across from the bed, one being the master bathroom. The other was to the walk-in closet, which she opened and went into. She gestured for him to go with her. “I’m going to need your help lifting this.”

“Um, okay.” Finn followed her in, pushing a dress out of his way so he could see what it was she needed help with.

Pushed against the wall at the back of the closet was a black safe. It wasn’t very big, maybe a foot and a half tall and wide. It had a metal handle, and beside it was a combination lock. It looked like something that would be in a movie or crime show.

“Help me get it out of here, would you?” Marian asked, going to one side and gripping it.

Finn blinked and went over to the other side, grabbing it.

Together, they managed to carry it out of her room and down the hall into the living room. It wasn’t too heavy, but definitely too much for one animal to carry by themselves. They set it down in the middle of the room and Marian stepped back, wiping her paws on her jeans. “Your father gave this to me about a year before he was put away. He told me once that it was the only thing that had been saved from the fire. He said to give it to you when you were ready. He didn’t give specifics, but,” she looked down at him, “I think now is as good a time as any.”

Finn looked at the safe again, head tilted to the side. He couldn’t recall ever seeing this, but his father had always been very secretive… He shook his head and went over to it, paw going to the combination lock. “He ever say what the key is?”

“He did not. He said that you would know.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “‘Course he did.” Putting his ear to the safe, he tried to think of any set of numbers the combination might be.

He tried his dad’s birthday first. No dice. Then he tried his mom’s. Nothing. He racked his brain, trying to remember old addresses or phone numbers that it might be, but couldn’t think of anything. He scowled at the safe, tapping a claw against it.

Well...there was one more he could try. But...there was no way that was gonna be it.

...was there?

Holding his breath, Finn turned the combination for his birthday, doing every number very carefully. 06, 24, 83. The lock clicked and when he grabbed the handle, the safe swung open. Finn sat back on his haunches, in shock.

That was his birthday. His dad had used his birthday as his safe’s combination.

“Finnegan?” He felt Marian’s paw on his shoulder.

He quickly shrugged it off, clearing his throat and rubbing at his eyes. Damn, he’d gotten so weepy lately. “‘M fine.”

“What’s in it?” The vixen peered over his shoulder, curious.

Finn reached in and started to pull things out of there.

First up were a few old VHS tapes. They were labeled  _ ‘83 _ ,  _ ‘85,  _ and  _ ‘87. _ The second thing he pulled out of it was a box filled with little knick knacks and polaroid photos. Most of the pictures were of him as a toddler and little kit with his ma. She was holding him in her arms or on her hip in some, while in others she was laughing while trying to give him a bath, or swimming with him, or pushing him on swings or going down the slide at parks. Those ones made his chest feel tight, and he made a mental note to buy a photo album to put them in.

The other pictures were of him and his father. Mason holding him as a baby, the softest look he’d ever seen in his eyes. Mason reading a book to him as a toddler, looking frustrated while Finn stared at the book in wonder. And one of Mason on the couch asleep, with little Finn curled up asleep in his arms. He couldn’t have been any older than four in that picture…

Fuck, the universe just really wanted to make him cry today. Finn had to set the box down and blink rapidly, though a few rogue tears fell down his cheeks. He’d forgotten about those times, when his dad had actually seemed to like him. Mason had used to be his favorite animal in the world...before the fire.

“What happened?” he asked Marian, not daring to look at her. “The fire. Why wouldn’t he tell me about it?”

“Because he’s ashamed, Finnegan.” Her arms wrapped around him from behind, holding him tightly to her. “He told me about it, a long time ago. After your mother died, he said he became an alcoholic, drinking all day and night. He got fired from a few jobs because he couldn’t stay sober. He said that one night he was on the couch, drinking and smoking a cigar, and he must have passed out because when he woke up the house was on fire. He said that he thought that, in his sleep, he must have spilled the alcohol and then dropped the cigar in it and that started the fire. He said as soon as he realized what was going on, he ran straight to your room to get you out.”

“I remember,” he managed to croak out, gripping her arms for dear life. “He broke down my door to get to me. I think I passed out after that.”

She gently stroked his ears with one paw. “He said he put you in his van then ran back into the house to grab the safe. Then he just drove around the city, cursing at himself for ruining your life. He said that after that, he didn’t know how to talk to you anymore. He was so horrified with himself for almost getting you killed that he didn’t feel like he deserved any positive feelings you might have towards him. That’s why he pushed you away. It wasn’t because of your mother dying, or anything that you did.” He felt her kiss the top of his head. “He loved you so much that he wanted to protect you from himself, Finn.”

“Fuck.” He was openly weeping now, unable to stop. His heart and soul were shrieking with agony, especially remembering the last thing he’d said to his father. What an awful wretch he was…

There was one more thing in the safe. He reached in to grab it, holding it in both of his paws.   
  
It was a picture of his mother. Celine Leary had been a beautiful fennec, with soft fur and warm crimson eyes. She wore a blue sundress with a white shawl, and she was smiling so happily at the camera.

Finn hugged the frame to his chest, hanging his head as he continued to cry. Marian kept holding him, rocking him back and forth gently. Neither of them said a word.

* * *

That night, after he had dinner with Nick and Judy, Finn popped one of the VHS tapes in, the one labeled  _ ‘87 _ . The tape started, and he saw his father playing with him in a sandbox.

_ “C’mon, Finn, that’s a shitty lookin’ castle,”  _ Mason said, trying to help four year old him build a sandcastle.  _ “We can do better.” _

_ “Mason, don’t curse in front of him,”  _ he heard his mother gently scold his father behind the camera.

_ “He’s gonna hear a lot worse, Celine,”  _ Mason grumbled, though he kept from cursing through the rest of the video.

It was just a home movie of them making a sandcastle, but it made Finn tear up again. He fast forwarded it, watching as they fished and Mason crowed with pride as little Finnegan caught a teeny tiny fish. Celine laughed and called them silly, but there was so much love in her voice. He fast forwarded again, watching as his parents threw him a party for his fifth birthday, then as they had a visit to the park, and just little things like that.

As he got towards the end of the video, he could see his mother’s health declining. Her eyes became more sunken in, her frame getting frail. The last few minutes of the VHS were his mother in the hospital, laying on a bed in a white gown. She smiled sadly at the camera, reaching out to weakly try to push it away.

_ “Don’t record me, Mason. I look terrible,”  _ she protested, the insides of her ears a pale pink.

_ “Yer always gonna be beautiful to me, mon cher,” _ his dad’s voice crooned softly, though it sounded watery.

The tape ended and Finn didn’t bother getting up to take it out, just starting at the black screen. Judy and Nick came over, the former wrapping her arms around him while the later just put a paw on his shoulder. No one said anything as he cried silently.

* * *

Finnick was grateful to be back at work that next week. Having a regular schedule after everything helped to keep him calm and clear his head. Being a bartender was good work, and the regulars liked him enough to leave good tips. The owners of the restaurant were very pleased with his performance so far, or so he heard. Apparently there were whispers of him potentially becoming a manager, but he tried not to get his hopes up. He had only been there for, what, seven or eight months now? Still, it was nice to be appreciated.

However, he knew that he needed to see his dad again, especially now that he knew everything. They needed to talk, no matter how much that old tod may not have wanted to. They needed to clear the air between them, once and for all. One of his off days, Finn called up to the prison to talk to the guards, to make sure that his dad hadn’t been punished too harshly. It had been an accident, after all. They told him that they’d put Mason in isolation for a couple of days, but nothing more after that. A weight was lifted from his shoulders when he heard that. Good. He didn’t want his dad to suffer. He was probably doing that to himself enough

The next week, on his first day off, Finn scheduled to see his dad again. He packed a bag to bring to him, and thankfully the guards deemed it fine to give to him. Finn was led into the meeting room again, and he sat at a table in the corner to wait.

A few minutes later the guards let his dad in. Mason looked the same, except for the dark circles under his eyes and the grim set of his jaw. He looked up and blinked when he saw Finn, looking shocked to see him. The old tod hesitated, then slowly made his way over to him.

“What are you doing here?” Mason asked, pulling out a chair to sit across from his son.

“Came to bring you somethin’,” Finn told him, setting the bag on the table and pushing it over to his father.

Mason looked skeptical but looked inside. His expression softened when he did, and he reached inside to look through things. “Ah. Found the safe, eh?”

“Yep.” Finn leaned his cheek against his paw, watching with contentment as his dad looked at all of his knick knacks. “Marian said it was as good a time as any.”

He watched as his dad pulled out the framed picture of his mother. Mason’s paws clutched it tight, one paw gliding over her face with a look of reverence. He looked up at him, giving him a watery half smile. “Thanks, kid.”

All Finn could do was nod, his throat feeling tight.

It was quiet between them before Mason spoke. “I’m sorry.” It was under his breath, almost silent. The old todd looked up at him, his amber eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry, Finnegan. I letchu down again.”

“No you didn’t, Pop,” Finn told his old man, reaching across the table to him. 

“Yeah, I did,” Mason argued, though he took his son’s paw in a tight hold. “I hurt ya. I never wanted to do that.”

“I know.” Finn gave his dad’s paw a squeeze. “You’re doin’ your best, Pop. That’s all I can ask. Honest.”

Mason nodded, squeezing his paw back before letting go to hold onto the picture frame again. He glanced up at Finn, his eyes lighter now. “So. What’re you up to these days?”

Finn grinned, sitting up. “I went straight. I’m bartending at an Italian restaurant now. The pay ain’t bad, and the tips are fuckin’ nice.”

“Good for you, kid,” Mason nodded, seeming pleased. “Just don’t become an alcoholic like yer old man.”

Finn laughed. It felt so good to do that with his dad again. “I’ll do my best, Pop.”

“So what else is goin’ on in yer life?” Mason asked, setting the frame down and leaning forward with interest.

Finn quickly launched into his tale, getting his dad all caught up on everything he missed. It took a while, and the guards definitely let him stay longer than he was supposed to, but it was worth it. His dad even gave him a one-armed hug before he had to go, and Finn couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he drove back to Nick and Judy’s place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on another note: this virus should have never been a problem. our government and especially our president failed us. vote him out. he does not deserve to stay in office with the negligence he has shown. so please. VOTE. get him out.
> 
> i love you guys. please stay safe and stay healthy, and i will hopefully see you soon.


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